Rate my essay, please? :)

[vijay120]

"The best way to teach is to praise positive action and ignore negative ones"

 

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position. 

 

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Teaching is well regarded as a nobel profession that shapes the lives of our future citizens. This is especially true during the middle school years, when the developing brain of a teen is being especially influenced by its environment, which primarily includes the family and the school environment. Therefore, it becomes a very important concern to effectively teach our children good habits and skills that can be brought with them into the future. There has been a widespread understanding that the more effective way to teach our children is to praise their positive actions and ignore their negative ones. However, such a thesis is problematic in two ways.

First, children need to learn from their negative actions so that they would not repeat them again. The way to teach this is by pointing out mistakes clearly and then asking them to correct it. For example, researchers studying the California education system found that the learning in a single class session diminishes by 15% if the student attends 10 minutes late in a standard 45 minute session. Therefore, teaching the student to be punctual to class will increase his/her learning, which cannot be happen if the student’s negative action is ignored.

Second, "praising positive actions" is a overly generalized statement that needs to be qualified. Depending on the type of school the student is attending, “praising” a student’s action can be detrimental to his/her overall development in the classroom. In magnet Math and Science schools in the United States, there is a strong academic culture of excellence that is ingrained the psyche of most of students, especially in their social circle. Therefore, openly praising academically strong students in class will encourage them to do better and also spur other students to achieve similar feats of their peers. However, in community schools in lower income neighborhoods, such an open praise strategy would most likely backfire since the culture of the teens, especially the social aspect of it, is shaped not only by academics, but also by popularity and sports. In this setting, openly praising academically strong students would likely have them maligned by their peers. A more cautious strategy has to be applied in such school cultures.

In conclusion, tight feedback loops are very important in developing teenagers. However, teachers have to look at all the incentives, not just academic ones, that drive a student’s progress in school before they institute any strategy like parsing only positive action and ignoring negative ones.

[Cookie]

Probably a 3, even though your writing is not bad. Why?

1. Too short: This is "Analyze an issue" task. For high marks (4.5+), its recommended to write 6 paragraphs (intro + 2 pro paragraphs + 2 cons paragraphs + conclusion). Longer essays just get higher marks in general, so you probably need to practice timed writing.

2. Follow generic "templates" from Princeton Review/ Kaplan. I found it helpful to have a "skeleton" for both tasks in mind. GRE writing is not about being creative or educational. Fill in the prepared skeleton helps addressing all the required points much easier.

Good luck.

[PeakPerformance]

You should set up in a condensed manner in your intro the two problems with only praising positive actions and include a sentence about how both positive and negative feedback is critical for learners' growth/success. Note, the criteria for a 6 essay states the essay: "articulates a clear and insightful position on the issue in accordance with the assigned task." You are not articulating an insightful position on the issue if all you are doing is dismissing the prompt position as problematic. In the process of showing that the prompt position is problematic you should be supporting a position of your own on the general issue. 

 

I disagree with the above suggestion that you must have 6 paragraphs with 2 pro and 2 con paragraphs. First, while length is important, you can do very well with just 3 body paragraphs and don't need 4. Second, instead of thinking pro and con positions, you should think about points you can make that show why the prompt position is problematic (negative points about the other side), as well as points you can make to support your position on the issue (positive points). It is not enough to show why another position is wrong; you must also show why your position is valid. To divide your essay into two pro and con statements on the prompt will not lead to a strong argument and is likely to leave your reader confused as to which position you are supporting. You should not devote 50% of your essay to presenting a position you oppose. 

[henryk8675309]

Hey! Whats funny is that I know where you got this essay prompt because it was the first practice essay prompt I used! Anyways. Here is my opinion on your essay (you are very brave by the way).

 

Rating:

3 to 3.5

 

Reason: 

First off, I agree with PeakPerformance. I got a 4.5 on my first GRE (I took this one without any practice) and I didn't pay much attention to how many paragraphs I used. Its FAR more important to show them how well you can analyze a question and organize your response. Don't mince words, just cut to the chase. Use this opportunity to show off your understanding of the question and its implications. Discuss the topic it suggests, offering your own opinions, and then follow it all up by attacking the question itself. Generally all of the real GRE questions have varying degrees of weakness. 

 

ALSO don't fall for the trap that there is one correct position. Typically the GRE sets up the question so that it can be decently well defended regardless your opinion. You can readily assume that there will be more than one correct opinion and as such you should discuss the merits of both. This is mainly why your essay falls into the 3 to 3.5 category. You discuss one side for the most part.

 

Your overall writing style is fine and following this advice your should get a 4 to 4.5 with minimal practice.