PeakPerformance

Hi, You do a nice job questioning whether the national census data is valid for Collegeville and questioning the assumption that Books and Bean presents competition for Monarch Books. However, the sequence of your ideas is very problematic and you are not focusing enough on the specific evidence needed to evaluate the argument, as per the prompt instructions. More specifically: The instructions don’t call for you to make a conclusion about the strength of the argument so your current thesis is not responding to the prompt instructions. You can conclude the argument is weak in your conclusion, but I suggest that your thesis focus on 3 different points where evidence is needed – the points you will focus on in each body paragraphs. E.G. “In order to evaluate the argument, further evidence is needed to determine if Books and Beans represents a competitive threat, if the national census data is applicable to Collegeville, and if converting the children’s books sections to a café will in fact increase Monarch Books’ profit.” The order of ideas should follow the sample thesis in #1above because: 1) there is no point considering the proposal to convert the children’s section or the national census data if the new store is not a competitive threat; 2) you must question whether the census data is valid before you can consider whether this is the best approach and will actually increase profits. Even if the new bookstore will be a competitive threat and even if the national census data is representative of the situation in Collegeville, you must still question if getting rid of the section and building a café will increase profits and is the best approach to dealing with the threat. Maybe parents of children will stop shopping at Monarch Books and buying their books if there is nothing for children. Right now your first body paragraph is not addressing a relevant point. You should accept the second sentence of the argument as a fact and not waste time questioning it. Your second body paragraph is underdeveloped and the first sentence should go in the 3rd body paragraph focusing on whether the proposal will increase profits. Overall, this essay would probably receive a “4” – your length helps and you do address 2 of the most relevant points (though not necessarily in the correct order). Good luck!

Rather than attempting to explain or make excuses for your GPA in your statement of purpose, I recommend that you ask one of your recommenders to address/explain the issue and dispel any concerns your lower GPA might raise. Even if you explain your GPA, you can't dispel any ad com concerns on your own. Your statement of purpose should be positive and focus on your experience in your field, your research interests and why you're a good fit for the school (and vice versa). Most importantly, if you're applying to PhD programs, you want to leave ad com members with the impression that your commitment to your research/career path is such that you will finish the program and not be one of the legions of PhD candidates who who end up leaving a program before completing their dissertation. At the same time, you want to present yourself as an interesting colleague and a unique addition to the program.

I don't really understand why the easiness of a particular math section would affect your attitude about a particular verbal section. In any case, while you mention you are studying 5 hours a day, are you taking complete timed practice tests to work on your timing and concentration? Before you take each practice test, you should practice visualizing that you are taking the real exam and imagine how nervous you might be -- bring up those feelings of anxiety before your practice tests and then develop a strategy for calming your nerves and clearing your mind before you start. You should also practice clearing your mind before each section: you need to be able to regroup after a disastrous section and maintain your intensity and focus after an easy section. And you certainly should not be evaluating your performance or the test as you go along.You must work through the test without any emotions: you need to execute like a machine with the faith that your practice and work up to this point will get you where you need to be. Ultimately, you need to approach the test with the mindset of a competitive athlete and learn how to let go of your "self" during your performance.

I strongly recommend that you do not follow this simple formula and regard positions as either correct or incorrect. On many of the prompts you may agree with a part of the statement but disagree with another part. For instance, consider the prompt: "It is often necessary, even desirable, for political leaders to withhold information from the public." You might argue that while it is necessary for political leaders to withhold information from the public on occasion, it is never desirable and should be limited as much as possible. In this case, my first body paragraph would explain why information must be held on occasion (e.g., national security or public safety), the second body paragraph would focus on why it is not desirable that political leaders withhold information often (democracy depends upon an informed public), and my third paragraph might discuss ways to ensure politicians don't abuse their power/ability to withhold information from the public. Such a thesis presents a more nuanced and insightful position than a simple correct/incorrect approach. In this case, instead of introducing two or three reasons to support the thesis with each body paragraph focusing on a reason, you would have each body paragraph focusing on supporting a different part of the thesis.

First off, this does not appear to be an official ETS argument prompt. You are best off practicing only with the official prompts made available on the ETS website. There are common fallacies featured in the official arguments with which you need to become familiar. Prompts provided in test prep books and by companies like Princeton or Kaplan are poor imitations. Second, you are not focusing specifically on the assumptions the argument relies on, as the instructions require. The argument essay instructions never ask you to focus on whether an argument is weak or strong: the instructions always focus on the process of evaluating the questions, evidence, or assumptions in an argument. Your thesis should identify the 3 primary assumptions that you will focus on in the body paragraphs, and the topic sentence for each body paragraph should introduce a specific assumption. You should be addressing at the end of the paragraph how the argument would be weakened if the specific assumption you are examining proves unwarranted. Third, you should not be using questions to counter the claims in the argument. You should be pointing out possibilities ignored by the argument and supporting the counterpoints. For instance, rather than simply stating what is the cost difference between manned and unmanned space flight, you should be saying something like: Unmanned space flight may in fact be more costly...and then explain why to support. Finally, there are numerous grammatical errors: run-on sentences, incomplete sentences, missing articles/words. Be sure to capitalize new sentences properly on real exam and to proofread. Overall, I think this essay would earn a 3.5 or a 3.

Hi Everyone, If you're looking for help on the GRE Analytical Writing section, I will be conducting a free online GRE Argument Essay Workshop on the following dates: Saturday, July 11th from 10:00 to 11:00 am PDT Saturday, July 18th from 10:00 to 11:00 pm PDT Wednesday, July 29th from 4:30 pm to 5:30 pm PDT Wednesday, August 5th from 6:30 pm to 7:30 pm PDT The workshop will begin with a review of the scoring criteria for the argument essay. Then, working with sample arguments, I will be providing tips on how to effectively critique an argument. You can sign up at: http://peaktestprep.com. Hope to meet you online!

Hi Everyone, If you're looking for help on the GRE Analytical Writing section, I will be conducting a free online GRE Argument Essay Workshop on the following dates: Saturday, May 30th from 10:00 to 11:00 am PDT Thursday, June 4th from 4:00 to 5:00 pm PDT Saturday, June 13th from 10:00 to 11:00 am PDT Saturday, June 27th from 10:00 to 11:00 am PDT The workshop will begin with a review of the scoring criteria for the argument essay. Then, working with sample arguments, I will be providing tips on how to effectively critique an argument. You can sign up at: http://peaktestprep.com. Hope to meet you online!

Hi Everyone, If you're looking for help on the GRE Analytical Writing section, I will be conducting a free online GRE Argument Essay Workshop on the following dates: Thursday, March 26th from 4:30 to 5:30 pm PDT Tuesday, March 31st from 5:00 to 6:00 pm PDT The workshop will begin with a review of the scoring criteria for the argument essay. Then, working with sample arguments, I will be providing tips on how to effectively critique an argument. You can sign up at: http://peaktestprep.com/gre/events. Hope to meet you online!

I wouldn't expect someone to "write" your statement for you, but there is nothing wrong with getting advice from a writing coach about how to organize your SOP and what should/should not be included. Nor is there anything wrong with having your final draft edited by a service. Getting outside input on your SOP can ultimately help you produce a far more effective essay -- especially if you haven't taken the time to research what an SOP should include or found effective samples.

It depends on whether the part you're sending works well as a separate piece and demonstrates your ability to produce original research. Too often students send as a writing sample a chapter that merely recounts others' arguments/theories but that doesn't "add" anything to the conversation.

I would read this article (http://psychology.un...es_of_Death.pdf), which advises against revealing this type of information. While there are certainly differences between a Ph.D. and MSW program, you don't want to create concerns that you are in any way unstable or unlikely to be able to complete the program. I would simply emphasize that your involvement/volunteer work with the organizations, as well as difficult and challenging experiences in your own life, has helped you develop the compassion and perspective needed to be a successful social worker. In the essay I would focus on your volunteer work and not discuss your personal challenges/experiences in particular (I would just vaguely refer to them).

First, you would not be exploring the same research papers, but the same topics/subjects you addressed in the earlier papers. It is not at all problematic to indicate that you are interested in studying the same area: this indicates a commitment to an area of study and that you will be building on your existing expertise. You just need to be able to articulate how your dissertation would build off of the past work you have done in the area and focus on aspects/areas of the subject you were unable to address within the limited scope of your past papers. In other words, you need to show that there's more to be said on the subject and which particular questions/aspects you left unaddressed or need to address in further depth.

I'm not really sure what you mean by "provided commentary": this could range from being contacted by the source for your views on account of your expertise in the area or your posting comments on an article posted on a website. If the source solicited your commentary on account of your expertise/knowledge of the issues, then I would definitely mention this in your SOP.

I tried to look at the document but don't have permission. Send me the file at info@peaktestprep.com and I will give you some quick feedback.

I'll give you some quick feedback on your SOP if you like. Send to info@peaktestprep.com

If you do not have a conviction yet -- if the matter is, as you say, still pending -- I would not mention the violation on your applications. If and when the status changes to a conviction you can amend your application. I do not think you are being unethical by not mentioning what at this point is not officially a part of your record.

I would have to disagree with TakeruK when it comes to your statements for PhD programs. You really are supposed to have a clearer sense of your research interests. You don't necessarily need to know what your dissertation project will address, but you at least need to be able to narrow down and categorize your interests. Without a clear sense of your interests, you can't articulate why a particular school you are applying to is a good choice for you. No one will necessarily hold you to coming up with a project that fits within the interests you've stated on your statement of purpose, but I think it is important that you position yourself as someone who will be entering into a PhD program with a clear sense of direction and purpose. The vaguer you are about your interests, the more doubts you will raise about the likelihood of your completing the program.

Hi everyone, I am offering a $40 discount to any Grad Cafe member interested in enrolling in my live, online GRE Analytical Writing Prep Course starting this Wednesday, October 8th at 10:00 am to 1 pm PDT. The course is 12 hours (4 3-hour live sessions) and includes personalized feedback on 8 essays (4 argument essays, 4 issue essays). The course is recorded, in case you can't attend during the scheduled hours. This will be the last course I will be offering until next spring or summer. If you can't make the live class or are taking the test before the class is completed, I am also offering a $40 discount on a 5-hour one-on-one tutoring package that covers all the course material at an accelerated rate. You'll receive personalized feedback on homework assignments and feedback on 5 practice essays. I have taught writing at the college level for more than 15 years and have helped many students who previously received a 3 or 3.5 on the GRE AWA raise their scores. I have tutored students from more than 20 different countries and can work with you online at all hours of the day/night to fit your schedule. To see unsolicited testimonials from past students, go to: http://peaktestprep.com/gre/testimonials For more information, just click on the link in the signature. To receive the $40 discount, use the coupon code GRE108 during the final stage of the checkout process.

I would suggest the following: 1. Talk about your research experience and the path that led you to pursue a PhD 2. Talk about the line of research you plan on pursuing as a PhD candidate -- your project 3. Talk about why the school you are applying to is a good fit for you and vice versa 4. Your plans after completing your PhD (very briefly) 5. You should have the professors writing your letter explain/account for the 1 semester where you were sick -- don't waste time/space in your statement addressing this. 6. Your personal qualities/characteristics should only be discussed when relevant to your discussion of items 1-4 above. Hope this helps.

Hi Everyone, If you're looking for help on the GRE Analytical Writing section, I will be conducting a free online GRE Argument Essay Workshop on the following dates: Wednesday, September 24 from 4:00-5:00 pm PDT Sunday, September 28 from 9:00-10:00 am PDT Thursday, October 2 from 4:00-5:00 pm PDT Sunday, October 5 from 9:00-10:00 am PDT The workshop will begin with a review of the scoring criteria for the argument essay. Then, working with sample arguments, I will be providing tips on how to effectively critique an argument. You can sign up using the link in the signature or at: http://peaktestprep.com/gre/events. Hope to meet you online!

Your GRE scores will not matter much given that you're already coming from a master's program. How you did in that program, your writing sample, letters and the degree of your professionalization (have you presented at conferences, for instance) will matter much more. A great writing sample and good letters could offset a lower than ideal GPA. On the other hand, if you've been in contact with professors at your target schools and have people in line who want to work with you and who will go to bat for you, you needn't worry about your GPA.

If your TOEFL scores are low and raise concerns about your ability to speak and write English, then your AWA will take on increased importance. A 2.5 is pretty low: many programs require a minimum 3.5 or 4. I would check with the schools you are interested in applying to and see if they recommend that you retake the GRE given your AWA.

Rather than studying and trying to memorize points others came up with, you should study the main logical fallacies that appear in the argument essays. Once you understand the four most common logical errors, and how to respond to them, you'll be able to handle any argument you're given. Trying to memorize points for each argument will actually inhibit your ability to brainstorm on the test: you'll be trying to remember points that you didn't fully work through and process on your own instead of using skills you developed through the process of preparing for the exam.

Hi, Here's some suggestions for how you can improve your SOP: 1. I would cut the beginning considerably -- don't talk about all the things you thought you might be: it makes you look like a flake and raises the question of whether you'll want to be something other than a genetics counselor in a year or two. You could just start by saying something like: Like most children, I didn't grow up with the dream of becoming a genetics counselor. In fact, I never heard of genetics counseling until my junior year in college, when.... Then explain why you immediately realized this was a perfect field for you, how it caters to your interest in science and your desire to work in counseling as opposed to in a lab. 2. You need to work on more precise phrasing/word choice, and varying your sentence structure to convey that you are an educated, articulate person who is likely to succeed at graduate school. Your word choice/phrasing is often too casual and simplistic and there are far too many short, choppy sentences. E.G. "I thought that is one really interesting profession. Its like a hybrid of biology and psychology." 3. I had a difficult time following the chronology of your different experiences -- it seems like you are talking about experiences after you finished school before you talk about internships/work you did while pursuing your BA. You refer to the crisis hotline as if you mentioned it previously and the reader knows what you're talking about. If you were committed to a career in counseling before you narrowed down the field to genetics counseling, I would discuss some of the experiences that helped you develop your skills as a counselor first and then talk about shadowing genetics counselors to learn more about this aspect of counseling specifically. You can cut out the part about looking for more info about the field on the internet. 4. You should have a paragraph that explains why the specific school you are applying to is a good fit for you -- what makes the school appealing (mention specific program features); what makes you a good fit for this program. This paragraph should be rewritten for each school. 5. There are numerous grammatical errors that need to be fixed. You might consider having your final draft professionally edited. Good luck.

Hi everyone, I am offering a $40 discount to any Grad Cafe member who would be interested in enrolling in my live, online GRE Analytical Writing Prep Course starting this Thursday, August 7th at 4:00 pm PDT. The course is 12 hours (4 3-hour live sessions) and includes personalized feedback on 8 essays (4 argument essays, 4 issue essays). The course is recorded, in case you can't attend during the scheduled hours. If you can't make the live class or are taking the test before the class is completed, I am also offering a $40 discount on a 5-hour one-on-one tutoring package that covers all the course material at an accelerated rate. You'll receive personalized feedback on homework assignments and 8 practice essays. I have taught writing at the college level for more than 15 years and have helped many students who previously received a 3 or 3.5 on the GRE AWA raise their scores. If you're looking to improve your writing and critical thinking skills, I can help you! I have tutored students from more than 20 different countries and can work with you online at all hours of the day/night to fit your schedule. For more information, just click on the link in the signature. To receive the $40 discount, use the coupon code GRE-807 during the final stage of the checkout process.