issue and argument essays in gre

[sanaali]

hello ppl, im posting my issue essay and argument essay that ive written for my powerprep2 practice test 2. im taking my gre in 2 weeks, i would appreciate some honest feedback on them.

 

Issue essay

the best way for society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

 

my essay:-

Cooperation is certainly a favourable trait in youth, but the positive impact of competing cannot be neglected. Surely both traits can co-exist and result in a better impact than either of them alone. History has witnessed how both of these traits play a considerable role in the lives of individuals who have revolutionized the world. But it would be unfair to say that one is better than the other.
When people talk about competition, they often have an image of people foul playing, indulging in dirty politics and sabotaging other people's plan for their own interests. In its true sense, competition is a positive force. Healthy competition brings out the best in people. It allows a person to better himself by analyzing both his wins and defeats. In addition, it also gives you a chance to study another person's way of doing things. It gives you a chance to learn from others. With the right mindset, healthy competition can do wonders to a person's skills and abilities. for example, when the world tournament for cricket takes place, sometimes teams that werent so popular fo playing well, make it to the finals. This happens when they study the techniques of winning teams and work hard on their faults. Healthy competition allows them to become better in their future games.
Likewise, it teaches sportsmanship. One learns to accept his defeats gracefuly, and to rejoice in his wins. This is an important lesson that is a great help in practical life. when a person accepts an outcome, he accepts his faults and this brings about a sense of humility in him. Many great leaders in the world have been great sportsman and ready to learn from others.
Overall, Both cooperation and competition are needed in a successful person and we shouldnt be choosing between the two. both bring out quality in work and they should be valued, but the progress that can be attributed to healthy competition over centuries cannot be undermined.

 

 

Argument essay

The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company. "According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising."

 

my essay:-

The writer has reached the conclusion of increasing advertising budget without  making a sound case, his arguments seem flimsy and lack research. He provides no figures or surveys to illustrate the vailidity of his data.
It is not clear from the memo whether the movies that were endorsed by movie reviewers were the same movies that were shown last year. This makes his preceding assumptions vague and hollow. If the endorsed movies were only one-fourth of the movies shown past year, then the decreased attendance would make sense. But we cannot be sure of that because of the lack of information on the writers behalf.
Likewise, there can be a variety of other factors than can affect people's interest in attending super screen produced movies. Maybe it was a bad year economically, and the purchase power of a common man was effected. This would naturally lead to less spending on leisurely activities, which is not related to the quality of the movies shown in any way. Similarly, it is possible that pirated versions of the movies shown last year had become available, which led to many people watching the movies in the comfort of their homes without spending a dime. This would result in a smaller crowd at the movies too.
Also, the popularity and the quality of the movie reviewers is something the writer has assumed to be well. There are all kinds of movie reviewers. Some are known to be too critical or too easily pleased. Others are well-known and respected for their insightful remarks. Whether the reviewers mentioned by the writer are popular or not is a fact that has not been considered by the writer, which consderably weakens his analysis.
Additionally, whether a movie is liked by the masses or not is based on complex factors and cannot be simply gauged on the movie being good or bad. Every culture has its favourite topics and sometimes even the best movies based on eccentric topics are not applauded by the public. it is enitrely possible that the movies were good, but their content and topic is not of interest to the general public, which would ofcourse lead to less people taking an interest in watching it.
Overall, the writers analysis of the situation is weak. conducting surveys about people's interest, their purchase power, their favourite reviewers can help greatly in increasing the attendance at the movies instead to increasing the budget for advertising.

 

 

 

 any feedback is wecome.

thanks

-Sana

[sanaali]

can anyone else share their essays too? i would like to know how other people handle these topics

[Eigen]

The one thing I'd say that stands out to me is punctuation/capitalization errors. I know people get used to writing improperly, but it makes the essay look much worse. 

 

You also have some structural issues (i.e., "foul playing") and I would say your points of support are amorphous (History has witnessed) without more detailed attributions. 

 

I think your arguments in general could be less general, more specific, and accordingly, stronger- but I would say the most important thing is correct structure (not using apostrophe's for contractions, incorrect tense, not capitalizing the first words in sentences) as those are easy to fix and also make the writing look a lot worse than it would otherwise be considered. 

 

I would say, by and large, for the issue prompt it's much easier to argue for or against rather than to take the midline approach- I think a for or against essay can be a lot stronger, whereas midline (in this case) comes out a bit hit-or-miss. 

[sanaali]

thankyou very much Eigen for taking out time to read them. your analysis is valuable and will certainly help me with making my approach better. all the points you have mentioned seemed legit, and il start working on them!