Regarding admissions essays, how personal is too personal?

[mr1988]

I am applying to MSW programs because I'd like to become an AASECT certified LCSW and work in the area of sex therapy. Specifically, I'd like to work with people who have experienced sexual disfunction or have some sort of lack of acceptance concerning their orientation or fetish. The reason I am interested in said programs is because I have struggled with vulvodynia and I have a fetish. Using sex therapy, I have been able to have a very healthy sex life and find peace and acceptance. (Side note: I am also a recovering food addict so I am also interested in dealing with eating disorders/addiction)

As I attempt to write an honest statement of purpose, I find that much of the reason why I want to purse an MSW is taboo and I'm not sure what is appropriate to include on an essay. 

 

Here is a very rough draft of what I was thinking about for the first few paragraphs:

 

 

At nineteen years old, I tried to have sex for the first time.  My thirty-year-old boyfriend, Rob and I got into his bed very carefully, he had never been with a virgin and he was scared of hurting me. The night was full of romance and passion and curiosity and anxiety and excitement; it was everything that The WB told me it should be, until we tried to have sex. It was extraordinarily painful for me.  We unsuccessfully tried a few more times, and the lack of physical intimacy started to weigh on our relationship. Two weeks later, my gynecologist diagnosed me with vulvodynia, a disorder that changed my view of the world and myself.  

 

The National Vulvodynia Association (NVA) defines vulvodynia as “chronic vulvar pain without an identifiable cause.” It is a disorder that is estimated to effect up to one in four women, but despite its prevalence, it is rarely talked about and often misdiagnosed.  Moreover, with this diagnosis, I felt like less of a woman. What man would want to be with me if I couldn’t have sex?

 

 

 

Thoughts?

[louise86]

I think the story of your first sexual encounter is too much information. I think it would be sufficient to explain why the area of sexual dysfunction is important like in your second paragraph and then mention how it relates to you personally (if that is why you want to focus on that area) in more general terms.

 

"Sexual dysfunction is important to the area of social work because blah blah blah. It is an area that I believe is often overlooked and rarely talked about, but is important to sexual health and well-being. Sexual dysfunction is often surrounded by stigma and shame and can negatively impact intimate relationships. I experienced this firsthand in my first intimate relationship and was eventually diagnosed with Vulvodynia which is often misdiagnosed and can affect up to one in four women. I remember feeling/thinking blah blah blah after hearing the diagnosis. Because of my experience with sexual dysfunction I think it gives me an intimate perspective that will allow me to help others in a similar situation."

 

That's just an example of a paragraph that gets your point across without giving details about your sex life.

 

I would also encourage you to re-examine the statement about being less of woman because of not having sex and "What man would want to be with me if I couldn’t have sex?" Basing a woman's worth on her ability to have sex with men is not a good way of thinking and I think would be red flags in your application. Unless you want to phrase it as: "I initially thought blah blah blah, but was able to overcome that negative way of thinking and believe I can help others struggling with acceptance of their sexual dysfunction and help them move towards a happier and healthier sex life."

 

Good luck!

[SaraFL]

I agree with louise.  Less personal, more general.