SoP Critique Request - ChemE MS

[ChemE_SoP_2015]

I really appreciate any time you can spend critiquing my SoP! I'm applying for a thesis-based master's degree in chemical engineering starting in fall 2015.

 

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Full text provided below.

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My first memorable research experience came during an internship in the chemical engineering laboratory at Alma Mater U. when I “lost” the actual temperature data behind the temperature curve predicted by my first principles model of a double-pipe heat exchanger. It was a culminating moment, showcasing the marriage between the theoretical aspects of my chemical engineering education and my second passion: computer science. Two years spent in the engineering research and development lab of a major pharmaceutical performing rapid-prototyping of a new manufacturing process has given me new research and team development skills, but also a yearning to return to the theoretical roots of my discipline. Motivating me in this decision is a desire to work on larger societal problems, and I would like to couple my research of optimization through multi-scale modeling into improving renewable energy systems.

 

Designing a double-pipe heat exchanger experiment for Professors Ono and Lennon was my first taste of controls and systems modeling. After writing the control and data acquisition interface for operating the experiment in LabView, I developed a first principles model in Matlab and Simulink. Though my initial models failed to characterize changes in the system, it taught me how to hunt for deficiencies in the model. I became a better researcher the more I hardened the rigor of my test methodology and iterated my experiments to hold up against statistical errors. Model discrepancies led me to new sources of knowledge to continue improvement; each iteration revealed one more discrepancy, and each discrepancy to another detailed nuance of how the system should be characterized. Part of me wishes I could say I created a perfect model on my first attempt, but I found passion for this field in the time spent pouring over the imperfections.

 

At the graduate level, I want to pursue that passion into multi-scale modeling for improving the environment. My research interest lies in process characterization from the atomic level and upwards to understand the chemical interactions within renewable energy systems. This includes optimizing the computational performance to increase achievable analyte quantities and level of detail at each scale of the model. I also look toward developing generic models and test environments for shared use in multiple simulations. In developing my models in a generic way, I hope to provide my group with a library of tools for use within their own models, providing environments capable of handling heavy computation. I am a proponent of open-science and want to catalyse not only my own team's research area, but the research of the scientific community as much as possible.

 

Support for my ability in achieving these goals rests in my degree and the work I have been involved with since graduating. In addition to my chemical engineering bachelor’s degree, I received a minor in the field in which I started my bachelor’s studies: computer science. Though my GPA suffered some initial turbulence as I switched into the engineering school, I made the Term Honor List in my final four semesters and received A’s in several core courses including “Process Design,” involving a comprehensive combination of the skills learned during the curriculum led by Professor Starr.

 

I am currently contracted through Company, Inc. as the automation engineer for a major pharmaceutical's engineering research and development lab to develop a new manufacturing process involving electrical welding. The position has been a combination of rapidly implementing new technologies within the manufacturing system and understanding a new discipline, electrical engineering, from a fundamental level. In addition to designing the control system, and out of a gained trust from the team, I have designed several experiments for characterizing the thermal properties of our product during and after the welding process. I developed a custom data acquisition and statistical analysis program in C# which enabled communication between a third-party electrical power meter, the system's PLC, and our SQL database. The program implemented a generic meter interface, giving us the capability of switching between several meter vendors quickly, at the cost of a small C# class for mapping the vendor's proprietary interface into my generic interface. This program provided the lab with the fundamental processing information which went on to inform the design of our experiments and product quality.

 

Univ became my first choice for pursuing a master’s degree due to the research of Professors Steve Harrison and Jacob McCartney. Professor Harrison’s group methodology of a ‘ground-up’ approach to solving environmental sustainability and renewable energy matches almost exactly with my research interests. At the same time, my research could equally find a home within Professor McCartney’s group due to his breadth and depth of experience in process modeling and simulation.

 

Additionally, Univ offers a uniquely stimulating climate for multi-scale renewable energy models, as I am interested in working with both the Renewable Energy Center and the Simulation Center. These centers show the dedication of the university for advancing these two topics and present my research with access to members outside my discipline by sharing a common theme. In addition, Univ’s location can provide cross-pollination opportunities by being positioned close to Prestigious Lab, Big Private U., and energy industry leaders such as Energy Leader, Inc. I hope to harness as many of these resources as possible to enrich my research while pursuing my master’s degree at Univ.

Edited January 15, 2015 by ChemE_SoP_2015

[Crucial BBQ]

Nice references to The Beatle's. 

 

Here is a start:

 

Two years spent in the engineering research and development lab of a major pharmaceutical performing rapid-prototyping of a new manufacturing process has given me new research and team development skills, but also a yearning to return to the theoretical roots of my discipline. Motivating me in this decision is a desire to work on larger societal problems, and I would like to couple my research of optimization through multi-scale modeling into improving renewable energy systems.

 

Designing a double-pipe heat exchanger experiment for Professors Ono and Lennon was my first taste of controls and systems modeling. After writing the control and data acquisition interface for operating the experiment in LabView, I developed a first principles model in Matlab and Simulink. Though my initial models failed to characterize changes in the system, it taught me how to hunt for deficiencies in the model.  Model discrepancies led me to new sources of knowledge to continue improvement; each iteration revealed one more discrepancy, and each discrepancy to another detailed nuance of how the system should be characterized.

 

My research interest lies in process characterization from the atomic level and upwards to understand the chemical interactions within renewable energy systems. This includes optimizing the computational performance to increase achievable analyte quantities and level of detail at each scale of the model.  In addition to my chemical engineering bachelor’s degree, I received a minor in the field in which I started my bachelor’s studies: computer science. Though my GPA suffered some initial turbulence as I switched into the engineering school, I made the Term Honor List in my final four semesters and received A’s in several core courses including “Process Design,” involving a comprehensive combination of the skills learned during the curriculum led by Professor Starr.

 

I am currently contracted through Company, Inc. as the automation engineer for a major pharmaceutical's engineering research and development lab to develop a new manufacturing process involving electrical welding. The position has been a combination of rapidly implementing new technologies within the manufacturing system and understanding a new discipline, electrical engineering, from a fundamental level. In addition to designing the control system, and out of a gained trust from the team, I have designed several experiments for characterizing the thermal properties of our product during and after the welding process. I developed a custom data acquisition and statistical analysis program in C# which enabled communication between a third-party electrical power meter, the system's PLC, and our SQL database. The program implemented a meter interface, giving the lab the capability of switching between several meter vendors quickly. This program provided the lab with the fundamental processing information which went on to inform the design of our experiments and product quality.

 

Univ became my first choice for pursuing a master’s degree due to the research of Professors Steve Harrison and Jacob McCartney. Professor Harrison’s group methodology of a ‘ground-up’ approach to solving environmental sustainability and renewable energy matches almost exactly with my research interests (in what ways?). At the same time, my research could equally find a home within Professor McCartney’s group due to his breadth and depth of experience in process modeling and simulation (you are saying that McCartney's expertise matches your own.  Don't do this!).

 

Additionally, I am interested in working with both the Renewable Energy Center and the Simulation Center.