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Posted

Hi all, I am having serious doubts on my career right now.

I started studying architecture at 23 and graduated at 27 as a Part I from a minor southern european school plagued by philistinism. Then I applied to a top MA in history and theory in northern europe for a number of reasons:  1) virtually no one I knew in the field had a job in my country 2) I did not enjoy the uncritical approach to design in my undergrad school / felt like I did not know the 'thinking' behind design / felt like I was merely copying starchitecture and/or merely executing my tutors' suggestions without understanding why 3) I wanted to read and get a liberal education in an intellectually stimulating environment 4) did not fancy the idea of becoming a computer monkey and being paid peanuts for it / tought I was smarter than that. 

However, I got accepted - quite miracolously given the prestige of the school - and after two years graduated with distinction. I have worked insane hours to achieve that, and eventually even published on a couple of reputable journals, an extremely rare thing for a MA graduate.

After graduating I have kept reading and researching voraciously while working in fields unrelated to architecture, just to make ends meet in a big, northern european city. Then out of rational calculation ('I did well in the MA, I will do well in a PhD') and out of a lack of options (I am just a Part 1 and after 3 years of reading and researching my cad/adobe suite skills are now laughable = I am unemployable outside academia), I applied to the very top H&T programs on both sides of the atlantic, and the thing is that I have a good shot at getting a place in 2-3 of them, with full funding.

Yet, throughout the past month I have been assailed by serious doubts about this doctoral option. I have pretty much solved all the issues I had as an undergrad: 1) where I live now people can actually make a living out of architecture, just a living, but that is fine 2) design studios and the specialised press here spur actual criticism 3) I am a much more cultured man now, and enjoy developing my cultural capital 4) I would like to pick up again digital drafting (I have always been a good designer) and put my theoretical/historical knowledge into practical use in a boutique firm (I don't mind starting from scratch as an intern) AND 5) I don't want to spend 5-7 years in grad school (the US option).

I am torn, for at the same time I would like to keep publishing, and get into teaching history and theory, but I know that in my case the situation is either/or: academia OR practice. 

I've got to sort this out quick because these schools will soon get back to me. And the last thing I want to do is accepting an offer only to turn it down later because I have freaked out. I want to be honest with the admissions committees and my recommenders, whom I highly regard and who vouched for me. I really don't want to piss anyone off because I am undecided. 

I feel that I will be part of the research community one day, but I would like to explore the world of architectural practice in a dynamic city first.

Any thoughts?

 

 

 

 

 

Posted

Three things:

1) Have you actually been able to get an architecture job that will let you do the digital drafting work that you want? If you haven't, it's possible that it may be harder to secure the type of position you want than you realize.

2) If you're having any doubts whatsoever about doing a PhD in the USA, I would defer admission. It's a huge commitment (moving overseas, heavy coursework, lots of reading, etc.) and if you're not fully invested, you will struggle. Why not work now and then pursue the Ph.D. in the future if it's something you find that you need or want to do?

3) That said, it may be possible for you to be a part of the research community without the Ph.D. You could potentially collaborate with other scholars on publications, conduct and publish research as an independent scholar, or present at conferences. 

Posted

Just a thought: My advisor always told me, "If you can imagine doing anything other than getting a PhD, go do that." Meaning, IMO, that a PhD is a TON of work, often for little tangible reward. If you're not fully invested in taking on the work for, again, little reward, you're probably better off doing 'that other thing.' 

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