kindly score the following issue essay( GRE)

[hussain shaikh]

Educators should take students' interests into account when planning the content of the courses they teach.

 

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation 

and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe

 specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and

 explain how these examples shape your position.

 

 

The issue of whether or not teachers should consider the students' interests when planing the content 

of courses they teach is contentious one. While each side has its strength and weakness, I believe that teacher should 

consider the students' interest, because students will take more interest in the course if the course is designed 

according to their regard. Furthermore, students will try to score good and apply their knowledge in a more 

practical and pragmatic way, if the content course is designed according to their interest.

 

Firstly, the educator must consider the students' interests since it will boost the interest level of students taking 

that particular course. As a consequence of this students will participate in the class activity with more devotion, 

taking study of the course in a more appropiate and efficient manner. For example a student having great interest 

in thermodynamics before taking the course becomes disspassionate when only theoretical aspects of thermodynamics 

are taught in the class. Therefore the educator must consider the students' interests.

 

Secondly, by designing the course content according to the interest of students, the course content can have

 positive implications on the student's grade. Since the student has developed interest in the course, now he or she would definitely work 

more harder in order to get good grades. This would definitely benefit the overall academic record of the student.

Therefore teacher can positively benefit the student in terms of grade also by considering their interest.

 

Some may argue that teachers have a vast experience and   know what is better for students and what they must be taught to them 

so that they can progress in  both academic and professional life. This point is quite compeling but it is flawed. Although teacher professional

experience is of tremendous importance but teachers really need to mix their valuable vast experience with the students' interest to

create more devotion and zeal among the students pertaining to their course.

 

In conclusion, teachers should consider the interest of their students in the design phase of course content they teach.

So that more interest is develop among the students as consequence of this students have a good probability of getting

high grades.  

[Katharine@GreenlightGRE]

Hello hussain shaikh,

 

You've made some progress from the previous essay, so I hope you feel like this practice is helping. 

 

Writing: Subject/verb agreement is better than in the last essay, but keep being careful. In the intro, "teachers should consider" instead of "teacher." There were some spelling mistakes in this response: "compeling" should be "compelling." Several times you leave out little words: the second body paragraph has "Therefore teacher can positively benefit," and I think you mean "Therefore a teacher can positively benefit." You should use "harder" instead of "more harder."

 

Structure: I liked the intro for this response, because you clearly showed your stance on the issue and provided a strong reason for your views. The conclusion is less generic than in your previous essay, which is good, but it could have had one more sentence. The first two body paragraphs fit your argument and showed me several reasons why your side of the argument is valid. The third body paragraph didn't fit in so well. If you split up your long sentences it would be easier for the reader to follow your reasoning. 

 

Arguments/Examples: The first two body paragraphs had good evidence for your side of the argument, but you might want another specific example besides thermodynamics. You didn't really address the second half of the prompt where you're supposed to "describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position." You could keep your first two body paragraphs and then have your third paragraph focus on this part of the prompt.

 

Suggestions for Improvement: You've fixed some of the errors I saw in the first essay, but this response didn't fully respond to the prompt. I think it helped you to write a shorter essay, because there weren't as many mistakes. Make sure you take a moment before writing to plan your essay: this way you'll make sure to address everything in the prompt.