Request to Look at my AWA Practice Argument

[hummeldon]

Please feel free to tear me apart. I want to learn from all mistakes!

 

Prompt: 

The following is a memorandum from the business manager of a television station.

"Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station's coverage of weather and local news. In addition, local businesses that used to advertise during our late-night news program have canceled their advertising contracts with us. Therefore, in order to attract more viewers to our news programs and to avoid losing any further advertising revenues, we should expand our coverage of weather and local news on all our news programs."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

 

Response:

The following argument is flawed in some of the following ways. This argument improperly gives reasoning to contend that increasing the amount of weather and local news coverage will result in an increased viewership and prevent the loss of any additional advertisement contracts.

First, this article gives us an example stating that many viewers have started sending complaints related to the lack of weather and local news coverage on this late night program. This statement makes the assumption that the people complaining represent the programs total viewership. In reality, the large majority of the viewer base is most likely silent. If they are always tuning in to this program it is likely that they enjoy what the news program covers and feels that it provides the coverage they desire. In order to make this claim more valid the company would have to give information showing high percentages of their viewership complaining. Even with this information, however, it is possible that some people may be complaining that the coverage is too high, while others may complain of too little.

Additionally, the article cites that by increasing the amount of local news and weather coverage they will be able to avoid losing any more advertisement revenue. The more likely reason for the loss of coverage likely deals with the fact that the news program airs late at night. A good example of someone who tunes in to a late night news program may be someone that works a night shift and wants to catch up on the latest news. For the most part, the advertisement companies who choose to air their products at this time are only going to be showing this product to the same people. Also, since the large majority of people are asleep at night, coincidentally when the program airs, the ad companies are probably not reaching to the amount of people they wish to. If, however, the news company provided statements from the advertisement companies stating that they severed their contract due to the lack of local news and weather coverage then there is chance that increasing coverage of these items could prevent further losses.

Finally, the news company suggests that by increasing the coverage of will attract more viewers. Similarly stated in the previous paragraph, since this news program airs late at night, the viewer base for such a program is fairly rigid. This, contrary to what the news company believes, is not likely due to the type of coverage the program provides. Instead, it is likely that since people typically go to sleep and wake up at around the same time each day, they are probably not awake when the news program is airing. Thus, even if the news this program provides is highly compelling and fits the demands of every human being, the viewership will stay fairly stagnant.

As a result of these fallacies, the news program improperly suggests that by increasing the amount of local news and weather coverage they will see an increased viewership and will be able to maintain the advertisement contracts they currently have.

 

Thank you!

[Katharine@GreenlightGRE]

Hello hummeldon,

 

I hope that the comments help you improve. Please let me know if you have specific questions about the essay.

 

Writing: There are a few awkward sentences that need revision (the first sentence and the beginning of your last body paragraph). Otherwise I didn't see major writing errors. 

 

Structure: Your intro and conclusion are so short! Your goal should be a five paragraph essay, which means you'll need to add a little length to this response if you want a top score. Your body paragraphs could be a little more developed, but it's good that you got three full ones. 

 

Arguments/Examples: I liked all of the reasons you provided, and I think that you did a good job of breaking down the author's argument. Make sure to tie together your reasoning in the conclusion and take a strong stance on the author's argument, because that will leave an impression on the reader. 

 

Suggestions for Improvement: I know it's tough to write so much in a short time limit, but you'll have to expand your intro and conclusion to get a top score. Otherwise, I didn't see any problems with this essay. Try a few more practice responses to fix these errors, and then you should be ready to move on to other areas of the exam. If you need suggestions on structuring your response and finding a way to write everything within the time limit, you can check out our free GRE prep videos here: http://www.greenlighttestprep.com/module/gre-analytical-writing

 

I hope this is helpful!

 

Katharine

[hummeldon]

Thank you for your input! I will work on improving my intros and conclusions.

[Katharine@GreenlightGRE]

No problem! If you have other questions, please let me know.