I am near the end of my program and every thing is too stressful (i am new here)

[Godot101]

I am at the end of my program and I thought the hard part would be over. I am having issues with a professor and my significant other. I feel like no one understands what I am going through. I know my SO has made some sacrifices but I dont understand. I have a job! I start next week! My academic advisor is being extremely flexible in allowing me to work and continue to work on my thesis. When I defend my thesis in a month I will be completely done with school!  And on top of that I get to keep my university job as well (extra money doesnt hurt). I will be going from making 10k a year to 60k next week. The job I accepted is only a coop so an actual job at the company if I do well will pay even more!

I am having a conflict with one of the professors I am working for. But since I am leaving soon These problems will go away

My SO is being very rude and selfish and not willing to work with me. Technically we are in a long distance relationship with SO visiting me on weekends. The job i got is in SO's city. So you would think that this would make everything easier but it doesnt. I don't understand why people have to make things so complicated.  I am starting to suspect my SO may actually be a bit jealous. My partner's career isnt going well at all. Ironically it does not have to do with me being in graduate school.

There is more to this situation but its a long story and I have work to do.

[fuzzylogician]

Sounds like you are having a stressful time all around. I have to admit that you sound like you have things way more under control than I did a month before defending (so, I don't think that being stressed out is very unusual for students who are about to graduate). I'm sorry that your partner isn't being more supportive. The best I can offer is to say that this is probably a hard time for your SO as well. You are getting things done and being very successful, while you say they are not. You may also be short tempered, self-absorbed, or otherwise difficult to deal with, as you take those last steps toward the finish line -- this of course not based on knowing you at all or anything you said, only on knowing myself and others when we were in that situation, so could be totally wrong here. It's a time of change for everyone, and you'll just have to give it time. Even if you move to your SO's city and that's something you both want, there is still going to be some adjustment period, as you shift from seeing each other on weekends to much more often. It does mean they have to change their life to accommodate you, so that's something to keep in mind. Since you've been long distance until now, this will be a major change. Maybe they're afraid that now that you're so successful you'll realize that they are not and want to break up? You never know what's on someone else's mind. I say keep doing what you're doing, and give it time. Things have a funny way of working out. Good luck with the new job and with getting that dissertation done! 

[juilletmercredi]

After I finished my dissertation, my husband - who had been very understanding and supportive through the whole thing - said "I'm so glad you're done. I feel like you've been walking around in a fog for the last 2+ years and you finally emerged." About 3-4 months after I finished, he again remarked on how different I was from when I was in graduate school, and how happy he was to have the original Juillet back.

Being in that thesis/dissertation phase really changes you in ways you probably don't realize. It seems normal to you, because your point of reference is your advisor and other graduate students. But it's not really normal - you're at least slightly obsessed with your topic, you're thinking about it virtually all the time, and especially as the defense approaches you're running around like a maniac trying to do stuff. It is definitely possible your SO is jealous or you have issues you need to work out in the relationship, but always remember that graduate school has a track record of turning people into different - and sometimes undesirable - people.