How to deal with a bullying POI

[katew]

My POI steals my ideas, verbally intimidates me, tries to get me into trouble. How to deal with him? I don't think talking to anyone in my department will be useful.

 

[fuzzylogician]

If your advisor is doing all these things, you need to find a new advisor. If there is not one in your department who will support you, I'm afraid I don't see another way out than to reapply to another program. This will bring with it a whole new set of challenges, mainly explaining why you left and getting a LOR from someone in your current department. Another option (which I personally couldn't do) is to choose to ride it out, *if* your advisor is famous and has connections he will use to get you a job after you graduate, if you're able to hang on for that long. If not, I don't see any benefit to staying, even if you think you could handle it. This partly also depends on how far along you are in your program. If you're a first year, it's easier to say it was a bad fit than if you're a fourth year, for example. Same goes for how glaring of a red flag it would be if you can't secure a LOR from anyone in your program. 

[katew]

Thanks for your reply! Also, I don't understand why I would be targeted?

[fuzzylogician]

Are you? What's the situation like with your advisor's other students? Do you know that whatever is happening between you and him isn't also happening with other people? 

I want to trust everything you say, but I am not sure I understand why your advisor would try to get you into trouble. What's in it for him to gain? Can you describe what you mean by him stealing your ideas? What year are you in? It'd help to have a bit more information here. 

[katew]

Everything was going well until the sudden backstabbing. I do not want to list all details, but I felt something was off during the first meeting.

[Eigen]

Ok, now I'm a bit confused. 

You start with everything was going well, and then end with "I felt something was off during the first meeting". If things were off from the beginning, then how can they have been going well from the start?

Is it possible that you're interpreting something as malicious backstabbing that they did not mean as such?

[katew]

Thanks Eigen. I had the intuitive feeling from the first meeting but I was stupid and felt I should be mature and stick with it.