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P.S.: Be honest; with the exception of the first paragraph, the rest of my SOP is ok. I said ok--not great, good, stellar,.... Give a brotha a break.

It's not. Absolutely, 100% not ok. If you handed in this SOP as a "Why I chose my major" essay in second year composition, it would be... what... a C+? Maybe a B-? I say this as someone who has graded literally hundreds of junior papers. It is not graduate level writing, and it does not show preparedness, motivation, or focus.

But yeah, you're almost certainly a troll. So thanks for the fun read!

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