GRE Writing Sample

[amaddgjs]

I wrote a sample issue essay and would like those of you who took the GRE to tell me what approximate score i`ll get. Also, please let me know what I can improve on and how I can improve it.

Issue Topic:

In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to

the courses they teach.

Essay:

Universities can indeed improve the quality of instruction by hiring faculty that have work experience relevant to their field. By doing so, professors would pass practical knowledge to their students. While it may be difficult for some majors to be have any work experience in their respective field, it should be a desired option for universities.

Being a mechanical engineer major lead to the formation of my opinion. For example, courses such as heat transfer and fluid mechanics would be mainly theoretical if a professor without a working experience had taught them. In class, the student can learn what the heat equation is and learn how to solve problems using it. However, he wouldn`t have a clear perspective on how to apply it as a working engineer. But the professor would be able to speak about real life experiences where he had to apply such theories.

Also, faculty that remain engaged in their field are up-to-date with the latest developments. They can bring that knowledge to the classroom and give students a perspective on what to expect after graduation. It can also help students decide in which particular field they want to work in. This may be the case for applied sciences but it may be difficult to for mathematicians, sociologists,or historians to combine education with relevant experience in their profesional field. Jobs in these fields are scarce and most of the education is theoritical.

In sum, I concur that universities whos faculty has relevant work experience offer a better quality of education and prepare students for future experiences. I believe that it is a must for applied science faculty to have work experience, but not necessary for other majors.

[KieBelle]

I would score this essay as a 4.0 or 4.5, although you're on the right track. My reasons:

1) In your intro paragraph, you say that practical work experience "should be a desired option for universities". The issue topic is asking you whether it should be required. It's unclear whether you are arguing that it should be required or that it is desirous but should not be required.

2) There are some grammar and spelling mistakes (mechanical engineering major led to...). I get the sense that English is not your first language. True?

3) Don't use contractions- it is more professional to write out both words.

4) Your third paragraph contains two supporting points. I would split it into two paragraphs and add a sentence or two more to each point.

5) You should be very cautious in discussing the scarcity of jobs and the theoretical nature of fields you're unfamiliar with. Stick with what you know (engineering) or you run the risk of being incorrect in your assumptions (which you are).

Like I said above, you're on the right track. You just need to work on clarifying your argument and adding a bit more supporting evidence. Hope that helps.

[amaddgjs]

Thanks alot for the review. I will make sure to fix these mistakes. By the way, English is my first language its just that I was rushing when I was typing and did not double read it for mistakes. Does everyone else feel the same?