Turning down an offer and a visit

[haltheincandescent]

Okay, so, when I got my first acceptance, it was pretty early, and we set up a visit fairly early on--which is in a few weeks. Since then, however, I've gotten several better offers, and am planning on turning down this first one. I'm caught between two schedules, though: one, is that the travel is already set up. I don't have too much of a problem with my plane ticket, as I can get the funds to apply to a later flight, and will probably be needing to buy a plane ticket sometime in the next year, anyway--whether for when I move or for conferences, for coming home for holidays, and so on. I am, however, worried about any other plans already made (hotels, etc.) on their side. I would really hate for them to lose anything potentially already paid (if that's even how these things are done? It's still 20 days out, so perhaps it's not even paid for yet??). Anyhow, though, I'm also weighting this against the value for them of just knowing I'll be turning down the offer now, so that someone on the wait list can be accepted (and possibly use that same hotel reservation for their visit, if, still very hypothetical, already made??), rather than dragging it out for another few weeks. I know that some on here often advise to just go ahead and visit, because, who knows, I could fall in love if I keep an open mind--but in terms of future job prospects.......the others are hard to pass up (as very much suggested by one of my advisors).

Ultimately, it is really a fantastic program too, so I (1) feel a slight, odd guilt even though I know students choose not to accept all the time, and that someone will be able to end the anxious waiting stage but, simultaneously (2) I don't want to cause any frustration, given how small a community academia is--I certainly still admire the work of the people at that program, and will have reason to possibly work with people there in the future, so..... yeah....

Any advice? Cancel and decide now, or wait?

 

And thank you.

[genderboi]

9 minutes ago, haltheincandescent said:

Okay, so, when I got my first acceptance, it was pretty early, and we set up a visit fairly early on--which is in a few weeks. Since then, however, I've gotten several better offers, and am planning on turning down this first one. I'm caught between two schedules, though: one, is that the travel is already set up. I don't have too much of a problem with my plane ticket, as I can get the funds to apply to a later flight, and will probably be needing to buy a plane ticket sometime in the next year, anyway--whether for when I move or for conferences, for coming home for holidays, and so on. I am, however, worried about any other plans already made (hotels, etc.) on their side. I would really hate for them to lose anything potentially already paid (if that's even how these things are done? It's still 20 days out, so perhaps it's not even paid for yet??). Anyhow, though, I'm also weighting this against the value for them of just knowing I'll be turning down the offer now, so that someone on the wait list can be accepted (and possibly use that same hotel reservation for their visit, if, still very hypothetical, already made??), rather than dragging it out for another few weeks. I know that some on here often advise to just go ahead and visit, because, who knows, I could fall in love if I keep an open mind--but in terms of future job prospects.......the others are hard to pass up (as very much suggested by one of my advisors).

Ultimately, it is really a fantastic program too, so I (1) feel a slight, odd guilt even though I know students choose not to accept all the time, and that someone will be able to end the anxious waiting stage but, simultaneously (2) I don't want to cause any frustration, given how small a community academia is--I certainly still admire the work of the people at that program, and will have reason to possibly work with people there in the future, so..... yeah....

Any advice? Cancel and decide now, or wait?

 

And thank you.

I think if you know you'll be turning it down they would actually prefer you to cancel the visit, and as you said, allow another student the opportunity to consider accepting. From my limited experience applying to masters programs a couple of years ago professors completely understand that top candidates will likely have multiple offers and have to turn down certain schools. Finally, I think they, as a program, have to accept the consequences of organizing a visit before so many other programs have gotten back to applicants. Best of luck making a decision! 

[TakeruK]

20 days out is a lot of time---cancel it now and everyone will be better off. It gives enough time for them to invite another candidate should they choose to.

Also, for most hotels, you can cancel up to the day before you arrive so it will probably not cost them any extra money. It might not save them money either if they are putting 2 people to a room and they had an even number of people (but then some lucky student will get their own room). 

I take advantage of the free cancellation for hotels whenever possible---usually as soon as I register for a conference, I'll also book the hotel (if there's no fee to cancel and no deposit). Then, if I find better arrangements, I can cancel and switch but if I don't then I won't have to worry about missing the group rate deadline!