Please comment on my essay

[Innovision]

This is a practice for the GRE Analyze an Argument essay

Argument: 

Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, is opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville. The store should prove to be very successful: Nature's Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where residents lead healthy lives, and clearly Plainsville is such an area. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers: these schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

 

Essay: 

Nature Way's success is pronged on the assumption that Plainsville is a prime location given its demographics of healthy community members.  It further assumes that the presence of health-conscious community members directly translates to healthy-living citizens who will actually subscribe to Nature Way's products. Should these assumptions be true and valid, then Nature Way is guaranteed of a profit-generating franchise in Plainsville.

 

To check, we first revisit the argument's measures of healthy living. The argument outlines that the increased sales of running shoes, exercise clothing, and increased membership points clearly citizens with healthier lifestyles. However, this argument can only be merited if said customers actually utilize the products. While sales have increased, we have no exact count as to what percentage of the community is actively engaging in a healthier lifestyle. Furthermore, the article does not indicate how many of those who have bought actually use those products properly. While sales are a good indication of the interest people have in active and healthier living, it does not necessarily mean that people are actually making healthier choices and  exercising regularly.

 

Without such an assurance, we cannot conclude that there is a sustainable market for Nature Way's products. It can be that they are only interested in the idea of "healthy living" but may not practice it. Without that, then there is no sustained interest in buying healthy supplements.

 

To counter this, the argument states that the local health club has increased membership and full attendance in weight training and aerobics class. This assumption can actually support the conclusion that people of Plainsville are living healthily. However, we can only accurately conclude that if we know the percentage of people of Plainsville engaged in such activities. We are not sure how significant the full attendance are. For example, the local health club only holds classes twice a week. While those classes may be full, the attendance pales in comparison if the population of Plainsville is actually 50,000.

 

The argument further assumes that because children are required in the fitness for life program, then the products of Nature's Way will sell. While this is a strong argument in support of the perceived success, we can only be sure of such a conclusion if the school also advocates their products. Yet, this is not stated. It can be that the fitness for life program just actively teaches the students to exercise regularly, bike to school instead of riding the car, and eat vegetables and fruits instead of junk food. It may be that the school's campaign does not advocate any purchase of the products sold by Nature's Way, especially if the school is only targeting the habit formation of the students.

 

With the counterarguments laid out, it can be safely seen that the assumptions leading up to the success of Nature's Way is unwarranted. The argument does not state how significant are the health-conscious citizens compared to the entirety of Plainsville. Furthermore, health-conscious citizens who are contributing to the increase sales of exercise materials does not necessarily translate to actual healthy citizens unless we have proof of actual use of products.  Without such a market, Nature's Way cannot assume that there will be profits for their business in the long haul.

 

What can be added to the article however are quantifiable measures of how large the potential client base really is. The argument has to show that there is a significant number of citizens who can commit to the healthy lifestyle. It can also add that their products run in complement to what the schools advocate for their students so that they have added customer base. With these additional information, then we can assume that Nature Way's success is off to a good start.

[Vince Kotchian GRE Prep]

very good! I'd give it a 5. I think certain lines of reasoning could be more compelling, for example: " we can only be sure of such a conclusion if the school also advocates their products".

I think other factors that are more convincing could be talked about here - what is the competition like? And maybe school advocation isn't cool and kids prefer other marketing. Try to go into a bit more depth if you want to score a little higher.