Need help with my advisor.

[Kona_Akea]

Where do I even start.. I've been working in a lab for 2 years now. I started as an undergrad research assistant and become quickly became the lab manager. Since the lab is relatively new I've work a lot to organize it and get a good group of committed RAs. When I started my advisor was super invested in the lab, we got TONS of research done. 

During my first semester in the lab, an old student of his had started a project using an eye tracker (which no one knew ow to use) and had abandoned it. I taught myself to use the equipment and ran the study myself. Last Fall, this student was accepted into the grad program by my advisor. He was continually showing her favoritism and ignoring myself, and the other 2 graduate students in the lab. He only gives her advise, only helps her with her studies, and only reads for her projects. He completely blows the rest of us off and constantly complains about not wanting to work. 

At a conference last fall, my advisor admitted they had feelings for each other, but nothing inappropriate had happened. She on the other hand, swore there was nothing between them because she has a boy friend. We met as a lab to settle our differences, and things were fine for a little while. 

Now everything is so much worse. This semester he is going through a divorce and his behavior in the lab is terrible. He's continued to show no interest in anyone's work other than hers, and has started being very rude to everyone. He will complain any time one of us asks him about a study idea or brings him a paper that we think may help him with his own research. He will only listen to her. Ideas I've been suggesting for months are completely ignored until she asks him about it. Any decision made in the lab has to go through her. He's making disrespectful remarks about myself and the other grad students. He just doesn't care, and sadly he thinks it cool to be that way. 

We don't know what to do. I've applied to PhD programs for fall to try to get out of there. I am waitlisted at one school, but everywhere else is either a rejection or some where I don't really want to go to. He has already told me that if I stay for my MS I would have year round funding and one of the other students and I would be in charge of part of his grant study (He uses giving us studies to run as an excuse for his childish behavior). Its looking like his lab might be my only option until I can apply to PhD programs again. So what do I do?

We've tried talking to him about this before and it only made things worse for me. Does anyone have any similar experiences? We want to try to solve this so we can just do our research and get into good PhD programs. 

[fuzzylogician]

Sadly, I don't think this is a situation you solve or fix, it's a situation you do your best to get out of as fast as possible, as quietly as possible.

I am not at all surprised that having a lab meeting to discuss with everyone how your advisor has feelings for another student didn't solve the problem (frankly I'm surprised that meeting even happened). The fact that he is having personal problems complicates matters, because that would be hard to bring to the administration's attention and ask that they do something about. You could decide to document the problems in your lab and then find a way to complain (e.g. through an ombudsperson). But you are not even an MS student; the process will be long and hard, and the result will likely hurt your chances of getting into a graduate program, and probably won't happen in time to actually improve your life. You might still want to collect this evidence and pass it along after you leave, but I am sorry to say that I believe complaining could be dangerous to your career, and it's questionable how likely it is to solve the problem. One thing to consider is to ask yourself if you think anyone is already aware, at least to some degree, and is ignoring it, or if everyone is completely oblivious to any problem. Also relevant: is the professor tenured? is the department head someone who you trust -- someone who is active and trying to improve the department, or someone who is more interested in keeping the status quo? 

On a practical level, you have to decide where you would rather be next year and what has the greatest chances of helping you get into PhD programs. It sounds like you do have options, but maybe not ones you are very excited about. You need to decide whether they would be better or worse than staying in the same lab another year. If you have to stay in your lab another year, the most important thing to get out of it is a strong letter from your advisor. It's hard to see how you do that and also complain, so it's possible that you'll need to keep your head down and do the work, keeping in mind that it's only a year and hopefully then you'll move on to a better lab. I'm sorry I am not more optimistic, but in these situations, it's the person with the least power that has the most to lose. 

[St Andrews Lynx]

What's the problem with the schools you were admitted in to?

Is it location? Research not a great alignment? Bad funding? More problematic PIs? I ask because even if the alternative programs don't excite you, it still might be better to go to another school, do good research (even if it's not quite what you wanted to explore) and consider leaving with an MS if it doesn't work out. It might be better than staying put, since I'm not sure how supportive this PI is going to be towards your PhD applications (they sound spiteful, neglectful and something of a hot mess).

[MonstersU-Terp]

This probably is a pattern for him. I would not be at all surprised if he already has a bad reputation in the field for past romantic infractions. This is NOT someone you want to be associated with professionally - especially if you're a young woman (I'm not sure if you are.) Regardless, rumors could circulate about YOU simply by your association with him. Cut your losses and join another program. He has tainted his name professionally, don't let him taint yours. Sounds like he was a bad adviser even without the drama.

 

The programs you got into - what don't you like about them?