Negotiating Higher Stipend with Leverage

[scippy4848]

So I got funded offers from three top fifteen programs in my discipline. I got a very generous financial offer from a top ten, but it has a higher cost of living. I also got a fairly generous offer from a top fifteen and the cost of living is low, but I want to go to a third top fifteen school where I originally got a significantly less generous funding package (lower stipend and working all five years)

I spoke with the Graduate Director and he was candid about money. He said that he could definitely raise the amount of the stipend. He would try for a fellowship, but no promises. I told him my other offers and I received two years (one and four) of fellowship with a 25% pay bump in those years. The problem is that I also wanted/expected a slight pay bump in the stipend years so I do not have to worry about money. I feel bad as I already eeked out a major concession. I raised the issue of increasing the stipend, which I thought was easier than gaining the fellowship from he had told me previously and he said he was not sure if he would have the funds, but that maybe in a bit he would. We agreed that I would check back early April to see if it was possible. A 20% drop in funding from year one to two and that fact that I was expecting a stipend increase bothers me some. Am I being greedy to ask for an additional concession, even if I have other very attractive offers? Is there a more constructive way to approach this? Also, I really want to go there so I am hoping the stipend is bumped up (even just a little) and am unsure if there is something I am missing--does check back really mean he could be able to later if others decline?

Any advice would be much appreciated

[YabanciKiz]

It's really hard to offer advice without knowing the schools or the program. Although you've given a lot of details, without names (and other concrete details) it's rather vague.

My advice would be better with more information, but here it is: don't feel bad about asking for more money. Be persistent yet polite and offer to give the schools hard evidence of better offers.