GRE issue essay need critics

[zoe3jr]

I need help with grading my essay. This is my first time writing an issue essay, so please give me some advice on how to improve my writing. Thank you in advance! 

 Question statement:
"Governments are justified in circumventing civil laws when doing so is vital to the protection of national security."
Write an essay in which you take a position on the statement above. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true.

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Government is a group of people who governs and protects a community. It sets laws for citizens and residents in the community to obey to keep the peace. In order for the government to do its job of protecting its community, some believed that the government should have the power to circumvent civil laws. On the other hand, some opposed that idea because they are afraid government would abuse this power. With the best interests in national security, the government should have the power in circumvent civil laws when national security is at high risk.

All governments should take appropriate actions to keep the civilians safe. With that said, there should be an exception to obeying the civil laws when the national security is threatened by terrorists. That exception must be written out in details in how severe the threat level is and which group of people has the authority to make this decision before the government exercising it. This creates a guideline to prevent the government to abuse their rights. Any threats to the national security is an emergency situation where does not have room for mistakes or misuses.

Terrorists use the fear of civilians to pursuit of political gains that’s beneficial to them. The government should have all the rights to identify these terrorists in the country to prevent future terrorist attacks. Some people are bothered that NSA (National Security Agency) is eavesdropping conversations, spying people’s activities through a camera on laptop or a mobile phone, and tracking people’s movement. What are the harms in a government agency to take these actions? If anyone has something to hide from the NSA such as planning to place a bomb threat, that one person needs to be arrested before the plan is executed.

A government’s first priority is national security. Government officials should take terrorist threats seriously because civilians rely on them to provide a safe community. In order for the government to do its job, it needs to be able to have the rights to prevent or minimize tragedies including circumventing the laws. It is better to be safe than sorry later when unfortunately events can be avoided if the government could have done something about it.