AWA GRE Argument Task Sample: Please review!

[mbmedina]

TASK:

Recent incursions by deep-sea fishermen into the habitat of the Madagascan shrimp have led to a significant reduction in the species population. With the breeding season fast approaching, the number of shrimp should soon begin to increase. Nonetheless, the population should not return to the levels before the fishing boats arrived. Because this trend is expected to continue over the next several years, the Madagascan shrimp will quickly become an endangered species.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

RESPONSE:

While the claim that Madagascan shrimp population will become an endagered species is supported by certain evidence, the evidence provided is insufficient to uphold the claim well and is presumptive, at best, without a strong basis. The assumption that the presence of deep-sea fisherman in the shrimp's habitat serves as the primary reason for the endangering species of Madagascan shrimp is, generally, a weak point on its own and should be further evaluated.

The presumtive connection between the presence of the fishermen and the decreasing number of shrimp does not have any evidence to support its own claim, other than the observations from "recent incursions." Further information needed to substantiate this assumption should include specific statistical comparisons demonstrating the data collected on the population of shrimp before and after the fishing boats were present in the shrimp's habitat. If data were collected in this timespan and follows after the claim to prove that there has been a "significant reduction in the species population," this would be beneficial analysis to strengthen the overall claim.

Also, an examination of the Madagascan shrimp's habitat during this time period as well could also provide insight into the decreasing population due to any environmental changes--water temperature fluctuations--or presence of other man-made factors, such as chemicals or garbage. The claim itself disregards any other external or internal factors, which could either support or disprove the claim entirely, based on the research conducted. If traces of such environmental or man-made factors than fishing boats were found, a whole new and improved claim would be made to describe the reasons for the decreasing population of shrimp.

While the excerpt includes basic conclusions based on observation, the general idea is not supported adequately to provide credible information. By including further insight from appropriate research and data collection, the overall claim that the decreasing number of Madagascan shrimp is due to the presence of fishing boats, eventually becoming endangered, would be reorganized and strengthened immensely.