Please grade my essay for GRE(AWA section) Argument Task

[Akriti Sharma]

Analysis of Argument:

The following was used as part of an internet advertising company\'s appeal to businesses: Furniture Depot employed our internet advertising company to help. Since then its sales increased by 10% over last year\'s totals. Furniture Depot\'s success demonstrates how using our internet services can increase your profitability. 

My Answer:

While it maybe true Furniture Depot sales have increased over last year but the author's argument does not make a cogent case for usage of internet services as reason for growth in markets.
While furniture depot did employ internet advertising company to help , it is not indicated by the author how many customer of furniture depot did actually used these services for their own benefit. Also if these services were used by customers, a feedback should have been taken from customer to backup the argument but clearly that's not the case here.
Sales might have increased for furniture depot as compared to last year's totals, but not necessarily due to these services. Employer Furniture depot might have also used other ways for their advertisements such as billboards and newspaper ads, which might have resulted in increment of furniture sale, as the targeted audience here might not be technologically advanced to use internet.
The argument could have been better if author would have mentioned some statistical data to support, as here he has only mentioned the increased percentage over last year totals, instead author could have provided the data of past few years and overall increment of same. Also to support the argument, author could have shown the feedback from various customer.

 

 

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