Please rate my first essay for argument type question

[Meghna]

In an attempt to improve highway safety, Prunty County last year lowered its speed limit from 55 to 45 miles per hour on all county highways. But this effort has failed: the number of accidents has not decreased, and, based on reports by the highway patrol, many drivers are exceeding the speed limit. Prunty County should instead undertake the same kind of road improvement project that Butler County completed five years ago: increasing lane widths, resurfacing rough highways, and improving visibility at dangerous intersections. Today, major Butler County roads still have a 55 mph speed limit, yet there were 25 percent fewer reported accidents in Butler County this past year than there were five years ago.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

 

The author's argument presented above that Pruny county should undertake same kind of road improvement project that Butler County completed five years ago in an attempt to improve highway safety, can't be followed through until some evidences are presented.

First of all, just because the accident percentages have gone down in Butler county in last year after the improvement does not necessarily mean that the same will happen in Pruny county. The accidents happening at Pruny county might not be because of the same reasons as Butler county, which were the narrow lane widths, rough highways and low visibility at dangerous intersections to name a few. The lanes in Pruny county might be wide enough to support the vehicles but there could be many other reasons for the accidents like lack of proper traffic system in the county or the condition of the roadsides, etc. The author should present some evidences that show the similarity between the Butler county and Pruny county then only the argument will make sense.

Secondly, the  accidents should be carefully studied case by case to extrapolate the causes which would lead to an improvement plan and if the causes comes down to the condition of rough highways or accidents at the intersection or lane widths then surely Pruny county could follow Butler county's improvement plan but until then the arugement does not amount to much as it is not backed up by the evidence. Also the highway patrol report showing that many drivers are exceeding the speed limit should be a factor to be worked upon in improving the highway safety. Stict laws should be enforced upon the drivers who exceed the speed limit as this could be a major reason for accidents even though lowering the limit did not work, enforcing strict punishment could.

In conclusion, the argument presented above lacks major evidences to back it up and prove that the improvement plans of Butler county will surely be beneficial to Pruny county. Many details about the comparison of the two counties and reason for the accidents could be mentioned which could weaken the argument.

[MrsGrad]

This is a pretty good essay. I might have also mentioned potential demographic differences. If Prunty County has twice as many drivers as Butler county, or if Prunty County has more county highways and Butler county has more state highways, the comparison is inappropriate.