Strategies for building relationships with instructors?

[simplyheather81]

I am a non-traditional student in my junior year of undergrad. I am married and have children so I have to get into the graduate program at the school I'm currently attending. I can't relocate like many of the young students I see posting. I would really like to build strong relationships with my instructors, but I'm not sure what the best way to go about that is.  I want to be able to learn from their years of experience, and I also want to be able to get strong, authentic letters of recommendation from them. I'm an introvert, but I'm not shy. It just doesn't come naturally to voraciously pursue relationships. I would appreciate any advice on how to approach my instructors or any stories of experiences you had building relationships with your own instructors.

[CajunSLP18]

I am also a non traditional student so I kinda understand. I can only apply to one program (well I could apply to a second one with a hr commute each way). I try to visit my professors in their office hours after tests. Also, I'll pop in and say hello from time to time. I also am pretty vocal in class discussions. I just want them to know my face when they see my name. 

[TakeruK]

If you are starting your junior year now, then the topic of graduate school is a great icebreaker to start a professional relationship. I know your field is different from mine, but some things are universal, in my opinion. Here are a few ideas on how to start a professional relationship:

1. Ask for advice. Generally, people like talking about what they do and professors are usually ones that enjoy passing their knowledge on to the next generation of students. You can seek out some professors that you find interesting and then email them or drop by their office hours to ask if you can sit down with them for 30-45 minutes because you are thinking of graduate school. It might be easier for you if you start with professors that you know from your previous or current classes. But don't be afraid to cold-email someone you have not talked to before in your department. Also, you can and should do this with multiple professors, not just one or two. If you find a couple of people that you really click with, if they really get you and understand your goals, they might become very good mentors for you over the next couple of years as you go through the application process (i.e. be able to write you good letters for their program). Some good questions would include things like "How did you decide to become a professor?" or "What considerations did you have when you decided to go to grad school?" etc. This type of interaction is often called an "information interview". You're not trying to convince them to admit you into their graduate program at this point---it's so that you can learn more about what grad school is like, what they think are good things to do to prepare for grad school etc.

2. Ask about their research/work. Find professors that are working on interesting things and just ask them for a 30 minute meeting to discuss their work. They'll probably ask why and you should say that you are thinking about graduate school and the career options. This is pretty similar to #1 above, it's just another type of information interview. Instead of discussing the logistics/advice for preparing for grad school, you'll just be discussing the topics that they are really interested in. You are also still a junior, which means you have time to add/change future classwork. If you find yourself interested in their topics, you can also discuss what kind of coursework you could pursue either later this year or next year to further your understanding. I think it's pretty typical to start with a meeting that is one type and then have a followup meeting on the other topic.

3. Ask about a specific topic in the course. This works best for professors that are currently teaching you or just taught you something in the last semester. If there's a topic in the course that really intrigues you, then come to their office hours (or ask for an appointment) and ask if you could pick their mind on that topic. Make sure you do your research well and be able to ask interesting and useful questions about the material that goes beyond what was covered in the class. But, don't just do this to impress the prof or to suck up. Do it because you genuinely find the material so interesting that you need to learn more about it beyond what was covered in the scope of the class. Sometimes it's hard to find material that is this interesting to you though. My tip would be to make a list of all concepts/ideas/etc. covered in the previous/current classes that spark even the slightest amount of interest. Then, spend an hour or two reading up on each of those ideas. This might take awhile but it will help you get experienced in the topic area. Hopefully, after an hour or two, you'll know if you like that topic or not. If not, then oh well, you learned something and move on. If it's something that continues to fascinate you, do a bit more research and then use that topic as the springboard for this type of meeting/interaction with the prof.

[thespeechblog.com]

5 hours ago, simplyheather81 said:

I am a non-traditional student in my junior year of undergrad. I am married and have children so I have to get into the graduate program at the school I'm currently attending. I can't relocate like many of the young students I see posting. I would really like to build strong relationships with my instructors, but I'm not sure what the best way to go about that is.  I want to be able to learn from their years of experience, and I also want to be able to get strong, authentic letters of recommendation from them. I'm an introvert, but I'm not shy. It just doesn't come naturally to voraciously pursue relationships. I would appreciate any advice on how to approach my instructors or any stories of experiences you had building relationships with your own instructors.

@TakeruK pretty much said it all!

I would add some other things...

• Pay attention in class & Be Respectful
  • It is SO PAINFULLY obvious if you're on your phone in class or Facebooking/socializing/IMing/etc instead of taking notes on your laptop
  • Do whatever you need to be awake and alert 
  • Raise your hand and ask questions (there is no stupid question)
• GO TO OFFICE HOURS! 
  • You can ask about class or any topics related to it
  • If they're doing research, ask about it! (I heard you were working on accented english... I'd love to hear more about it!)
  • I often go to office hours even if I don't have questions; sometimes I'll just say, "I'm having trouble with ____ concept, can I explain it back to you to make sure I understand?"
• Take a sincere interest in their work / career  
  • People love to talk about themselves 
  • The word sincere is SO important; be genuinely interested 

[wcslp]

Great advice in this thread. If you absolutely must get into your undergrad program, I would suggest that you present a very friendly/cooperative front when interacting with classmates. Not many people seem to address this, but, for instance, schools on the west coast primarily accept their own undergrads (typically) as opposed to those from different programs or out of state students. Many, many admissions committees have told me that after looking at all of your scores and grades, the main thing they want to see is how friendly your personality is and how well you would mesh with a cohort. Students who were more cooperative, friendly, and helpful to their classmates were (in my experience) often accepted over students who were standoffish, quiet, and isolating, even if their scores were equal. I'm a big introvert too, trust me, and when I was applying, my advisers/professors all told me that I had great stats, experiences, etc, but that they worried about admitting me because I was far too reserved and not as social as my classmates. This is a concern because child language clinics in grad school require you to be very cheerful and upbeat, constantly bubbly. I got a LOT of negative feedback at first because of how quiet I appeared, but I've since learned to fake it and haven't received negative criticism since. 

So, even if it's difficult (for me, at least), I would urge you to "fake it till you make it", if only for admissions/grad school. 

[thespeechblog.com]

@wcslp I've never heard anyone verbalize that before, but I think it makes SO much sense! What a good recommendation! The field is a small one, and professors want to welcome in people who are going to do well. 

Some easy tips to do this might be

• Being very interactive in any online discussion boards (we use Blackboard a lot for out-of-class discussions) - interact with others, respond thoughtfully to their posts
• Share your study materials 
• Organize a study group, and make it open to everyone 

Finally, I love the "Fake it 'til you make it" advice! We all have to learn how to push ourselves in different ways. 

[Jolie717]

13 hours ago, simplyheather81 said:

I am a non-traditional student in my junior year of undergrad. I am married and have children so I have to get into the graduate program at the school I'm currently attending. I can't relocate like many of the young students I see posting. I would really like to build strong relationships with my instructors, but I'm not sure what the best way to go about that is.  I want to be able to learn from their years of experience, and I also want to be able to get strong, authentic letters of recommendation from them. I'm an introvert, but I'm not shy. It just doesn't come naturally to voraciously pursue relationships. I would appreciate any advice on how to approach my instructors or any stories of experiences you had building relationships with your own instructors.

I'm also married with children, and, quite frankly, did not have time for office hours very often.  I believe I attended office hours twice in two years, two different professors.  What worked for me was being very vocal in class.  I have a bit of an unusual background that I shared when relevant, and I think this made professors notice me.  I had one professor who never met me once (online class) write a letter of rec for me because I knew she actually had a pretty unique glimpse into who I was based on the assignments we turned in.  She read numerous transcriptions of my boys' conversations.  Always entertaining, lol, and sometimes embarrassing!  I also had classmates in this class ask me to give them audio samples from my boys for projects, so again, I think that stood out.  Who knew having kids could actually make some assignments easier???  

Additionally, I always sat in the first or second row in class.  You DO NOT want to be the student in the back corner of the room.  Unless you are unusually vocal in class.  Another thing I believe helped was the fact that my study group literally met right outside the department, consistently, for our entire first year.  All of the professors not only got to know our faces quickly, but also saw very clear evidence of all the work we were doing and the collaboration taking place.  My entire study group received admission offers from our undergrad school.  Best of luck to you - I've "been there, done that" and know what a challenge it can be!