my first Motivation Letter

[Hyunjun Jung]

How are you doing guys !

I'm majored in Rehabilitation Engineering and currently preparing an application for ETH Zurich Computer Science.

I wrote my first motivation letter, and it seems quite longer than expected.....

As none native English speaker, I would be really appreciated if anyone gives feedback. Thankyou.  

 

 “So now, the community talks about X plus CS, or X plus computer science where X can be any domain. Biology plus computer science, physics plus computer science”. “It is actually everywhere in this fields.” Prof. Luay Nakhelh said in the class wrap up of Algorithmic Thinking 2, one of seven courses in Coursera’s specialization Fundamentals of Computing offered by Rice University. To me, undergraduate student of Rehabilitation Engineering, Computer Science (CS) was like a magical key, which can take rehabilitation engineering to next level. That was my first impression toward Computer Science.

 In the vortex of 4^th Industrial Revolution, CS is being integral part of Biomedical engineering(BME) as it is being highly intelligent and automated. Currently, BME field is experiencing the greatest innovations by combining its knowledge with CS. I am sure rehabilitation engineering fields are also inevitable to the influence. To take them to further level, I’ve decided to pursue CS as master’s degree.

 Fortunately, I had great chance to apply my CS knowledge to rehabilitation engineering during undergraduate times. It was student project for E-Medic Global (Engineering Medical Innovation Global Competition), and my team’s project is called Bilateral Training System for Hemiparesis Rehabilitation. It is rehabilitation system which integrates various methods of hemiparesis rehabilitation into one system, designed to recommend proper method to users.

 My part was mainly on software, designing and building the system. I discussed with professor of Occupational Therapy about how upper limb movement of hemiparesis patient changes as rehabilitation progresses and which movement would be best for scoring the performance In order to augment the knowledge. In order to augment the knowledge, I participated in Healthcare Management Symposium held by Medical School of Seoul National University, discussed with founder of Neofect Korea, a leading company of domestic rehabilitation devices. As a result of hard work, my team was selected as a finalist of the competition and also proposed the system for domestic patent. While working on the project I could understand not only how important it is to study in place that has great infrastructures and supports, but also how CS interacts with BME. It was great experience which solidifies my goal on CS.

Since then, I searched for classes that CS in my university offers to undergraduates, tried to fill academic gaps between CS and BME. Whenever I have time, I looked for online classes and learned them. Whether I was in the middle of semester or not could not interrupt my passion. I took various specialization courses and online version of CS class in prestigious school in US, including probability, linear algebra, machine learning, data structures and algorithms, software construction and so on, and still taking some major courses as if I were an assigned undergraduate in CS. (all information about online classes I accomplished and currently enrolled are linked below)

While I was searching for master’s degree, I found out that general computer science Master’s degree program in here is very unique for several reasons. Firstly, as stated in the course’s homepage, “it gives students a broad education with great freedom of choices as it allows a combination of courses from all the different Master’s tracks“. To be a successful Biomedical Engineer, learning knowledge in various fields is inevitable. CS department of ETH Zurich is one of the only a few department which offers actual track that let a student to learn and combine broad range of knowledge. Secondly, it also has great reputation in biomedical engineering, having specialized labs that research actual subjects which I really willing to pursue, such as Rehabilitation Engineering Laboratory or Mobile Health Systems. Opportunity to work with highly robust labs will give me both unforgettable academic experiences and a great change to advance my career.

If someone enjoys his/her job, he/she will never get tired. To me, all the hard works seemed like just one of entertaining things. That’s how I managed myself to be a Top Tanker in entire battalion during military service, and how I managed myself to achieve high GPA with both undergraduate project and a large number of online courses at one time. I know pursuing master’s degree can be entirely different story. But one thing for sure is that I love this field, and I am ready to enjoy the challenge. Pursuing master’s degree in here will be the most crucial challenge that I’ve had in my entire life, and I’m prepared for it. My will personality never let myself succumb to any hardship. Also, I’ll continue to upgrade myself to be better applicant till I enter the school.

I stand strongly that this course offers perfect conditions to my goal. I want to stand at frontline of 4^th Industrial Revolution of Biomedical Engineering, and I’m sure that this program in ETH Zurich will take me to the next level.

Edited November 7, 2016 by Hyunjun Jung

[01848p]

Hello! Here is some of my feedback I have no expertise in your area of study but I've done my best to clean up grammatical errors. None of what I have given as feedback is 100% correct, as this is just my style of writing. Feel free to ignore any comments you would like to!

 

On 11/7/2016 at 10:31 AM, Hyunjun Jung said:

“Today, the community discusses the interdisciplinary nature of computer science. As Dr. Luay Nakhelh stated in the class wrap-up of Algorithmic Thinking 2, one of seven courses in Coursera's specialization Fundamentals of Computing, offered by Rice University, "Biology plus computer science, physics plus computer science...it is actually everywhere in these fields."    about X plus CS, or X plus computer science, where X can be any domain.  To me, an undergraduate student in Rehabilitation Engineering, Computer Science (CS) was like a magical key, capable of taking rehabilitation engineering to next level. That was my first impression toward Computer Science.

 In the vortex of the 4^th Industrial Revolution, CS is an integral part of biomedical engineering (BME) as it is being highly intelligent and automated (I am not clear what you are trying to communicate here). Currently, the greatest innovations in biomedical engineering have been brought about by integrating CS into the knowledge of the field. I am confident that the influence of CS upon rehabilitation engineering fields is also inevitable. To prepare myself for these advances, I have decided to pursue a Master's in CS.

 Fortunately, I had the opportunity to apply my CS knowledge to rehabilitation engineering as an undergraduate. In a student-lead project for E-Medic Global (Engineering Medical Innovation Global Competition), I developed a "Bilateral Training System for Hemiparesis Rehabilitation" - a rehabilitation program which integrates various methods of hemiparesis rehabilitation into one system, designed to recommend proper methods to users.

 My primary role in this project concerned software design, as I was responsible for building the system. Through consulting with ______(professor's name), a professor of Occupational Therapy., about how the upper limb movement of a hemiparesis patient changes as rehabilitation progresses, I determined which movement would be best for scoring the performance. In order to augment the knowledge. In order to augment the knowledge, I participated in Healthcare Management Symposium held by Medical School of Seoul National University, discussed with founder of Neofect Korea, a leading company of domestic rehabilitation devices. As a result of our hard work, my team was selected as a finalist in the competition. We also proposed the system for domestic patent. Through working on the project, I was able to learn not only about how important it is to study in an institution with strong infrastructures and supports, but also about how CS interacts with BME. This formative experience solidified my interest in CS.

Since then, I have searched for CS classes offered by my University to undergraduates, in an attempt to fill the academic gaps between CS and BME. I have also spent my spare time taking online classes. Regardless of whether I was in the middle of semester or not could not interrupt my passion, I took various online specialization courses in CS class at a prestigious school in US (I would name the University rather than stating that it was a prestigious school), including probability, linear algebra, machine learning, data structures and algorithms, software construction and so on, and continue to direct my own learning through further coursework. courses as if I were an assigned undergraduate in CS. (all information about online classes I accomplished and currently enrolled are linked below)

In my search for a master’s program, I have found the general computer science program at (University name) to be very unique, for several reasons. First, as stated on the program homepage, (university name) “...gives students a broad education with great freedom of choices as it allows a combination of courses from all the different Master’s tracks." To be a successful Biomedical Engineer, learning knowledge in various fields is inevitable. The CS department at ETH Zurich is one of the only a few departments that provides students with the concrete supports to learn and combine broad range of knowledge. Second, the program also has a great reputation in biomedical engineering, having specialized labs that research actual subjects which I really willing to pursue, such as Rehabilitation Engineering Laboratory or Mobile Health Systems, which I hope to join and contribute to. The opportunity to work with such established labs will give me both unforgettable academic experiences and a great change to advance my career (I would choose a different reason for your second reason).

I have always known that if someone enjoys their job, they will never tire of hard work. For me, all hard work is a challenge that I am ready to tackle. It is with this mindset that I was named a Top Tanker in my entire battalion during my military service, and how I managed myself to achieve a high undergraduate GPA despite simultaneous enrollment in a large number of online courses at one time. I know that pursuing a Master’s degree can be an entirely different story. However, I am confident in my love for this field, and I am ready to take on the challenge. Pursuing a Master’s degree at (University name) will be the most crucial challenge that I have faced in my entire life, but I am nonetheless prepared for it. My will personality never let myself succumb to any hardship. Also, I’ll continue to upgrade myself to be better applicant till I enter the school.

I stand strongly that this program offers the perfect preparation for me to achieve my goal. I want to stand at the frontline of the 4^th Industrial Revolution of Biomedical Engineering, and I’m sure that the program at ETH Zurich will take me to the next level.

 

Edited November 26, 2016 by 01848p