SOP Intro [Civil Engineer]

[ts10vsg]

Well I am a civil engineer and deeply interested in doing my masters in Transport or Logisitcs

I have just started to write my SOP and stuck with the question how should I start my SOP Intro

after searching quotes if have come down to following

"Civil Engineering is the art of directing the great sources of Power in Nature for the use and convenience of man; being that practical application of the most important principles of natural Philosophy which has in a considerable degree realized the anticipations of Bacon, and changed the aspect and state of affairs in the whole world. The most important object of Civil Engineering is to improve the means of production and of traffic in states, both for external and internal Trade. This applied in the construction and management of Roads - Bridges - Rail Roads - Aqueducts - Canals - river navigation - Docks, and storehouses for the convenience of internal trade and exchange; - and in the construction of Ports - Harbours - Moles - Breakwaters - and Lighthouses, and in the navigation by artificial Power for the purposes of commerce."

Does that sound good or do I definately need a change?

Edited January 13, 2010 by Ved_TheOne

[iamwhoiam]

Well I am a civil engineer and deeply interested in doing my masters in Transport or Logisitcs

I have just started to write my SOP and stuck with the question how should I start my SOP Intro

after searching quotes if have come down to following

"Civil Engineering is the art of directing the great sources of Power in Nature for the use and convenience of man; being that practical application of the most important principles of natural Philosophy which has in a considerable degree realized the anticipations of Bacon, and changed the aspect and state of affairs in the whole world. The most important object of Civil Engineering is to improve the means of production and of traffic in states, both for external and internal Trade. This applied in the construction and management of Roads - Bridges - Rail Roads - Aqueducts - Canals - river navigation - Docks, and storehouses for the convenience of internal trade and exchange; - and in the construction of Ports - Harbours - Moles - Breakwaters - and Lighthouses, and in the navigation by artificial Power for the purposes of commerce."

Does that sound good or do I definately need a change?

Honestly, I would say scrap it. At first, I thought you got this from a textbook. I think professors and adcoms already know what civil engineering is, they want to know more about you! Maybe you should start with something that shows what you feel about civil engineering (using that passage as an inspiration - maybe somehow link it to yourself?) and what motivated you to continue studying it. But you know, what would I know...I'm just another applicant lurking on gradcafe. :-)Just my 2 cents.

Edited January 13, 2010 by iamwhoiam

[fuzzylogician]

Yeah, it's not a good start. You really don't want to be telling your potential professors what their field is all about. It doesn't say anything about you as an applicant either. There are two common ways to start an SOP: Some, more I think in the humanities than the sciences, start with a "hook" - a story, usually about how you first got interested in your field. The other way is to start with your current interests - a research question you're interested in, or maybe just the subfield, and an explanation of why. Personally I subscribe to the no fluff approach - get right to the point. If you want to do something different, you could start with the fit paragraph -- that's what adcomms are most interested in.

Since you say you just started writing -- don't work on the intro yet. That's one of the last things you should write, after the rest of the essay is done. Try working on the body of the essay first - your preparation for grad school, your current/future interests, fit. Then you can start thinking about an intro and a finish.

[glasses]

Yeah, it's not a good start. You really don't want to be telling your potential professors what their field is all about. It doesn't say anything about you as an applicant either. There are two common ways to start an SOP: Some, more I think in the humanities than the sciences, start with a "hook" - a story, usually about how you first got interested in your field. The other way is to start with your current interests - a research question you're interested in, or maybe just the subfield, and an explanation of why. Personally I subscribe to the no fluff approach - get right to the point. If you want to do something different, you could start with the fit paragraph -- that's what adcomms are most interested in.

Since you say you just started writing -- don't work on the intro yet. That's one of the last things you should write, after the rest of the essay is done. Try working on the body of the essay first - your preparation for grad school, your current/future interests, fit. Then you can start thinking about an intro and a finish.

This. All of it.

I always write my introductions last, even for academic papers. The way I see it, you can't quite introduce something if you don't know exactly what it is that you're introducing.

I used to give this advice to tutees and students while I was a tutor and TA -- worked like a charm.

[ts10vsg]

Honestly, I would say scrap it.

Yeah, it's not a good start.

Since you say you just started writing -- don't work on the intro yet. That's one of the last things you should write, after the rest of the essay is done. Try working on the body of the essay first - your preparation for grad school, your current/future interests, fit. Then you can start thinking about an intro and a finish.

This. All of it.

I always write my introductions last, even for academic papers. The way I see it, you can't quite introduce something if you don't know exactly what it is that you're introducing.

I used to give this advice to tutees and students while I was a tutor and TA -- worked like a charm.

Thank you for your suggestions... It has helped me to cover my initial round of writing an SOP.. here it is (feel free to comment)

 When I was a little boy in small town in India – having fun by solving interesting mathematical puzzles, I wouldn’t imagine that ten years later, I would be working on computational intelligence tools used to develop decision making systems in one of India’s prestigious group of companies. Since my early childhood, I have been always eager to learn about new topics. This keen interest, when combined with my inner desire to reach a degree of excellence in every piece of work I perform, enabled me to acquire significant knowledge on various aspects of life and science, as well as leading me through a successful career so far. I was first seriously exposed to the beauty of science when I entered High School. There I started to expand my vision and knowledge on mathematics. After a good performance in high school with Mathematics, Physics, and Chemistry as majors, I secured admission to Civil Engineering course from [i]XXXXX,XXXX,XX[/i] during June, 2002. I chose to study Civil Engineering in university because it has a strong relationship with mathematics. What attracted me the most in Civil Engineering but not in mathematics was that its ability to satisfy the crucial needs of human beings, thus being much closer to real life. The course structure offered by the Civil Engineering department at [i]XXXX[/i] has indeed given me a broad perspective and my understanding of the subject has received tremendous fillips. 


 During the third year of my studies I was exposed to Transportation Engineering. The subject really interested me because it helped to understand dependency of [i]Security, Economic Prosperity, And Social Well-Being Of The City/Area/Nation on the reliable functioning of transportation systems (road, rail, air, and water)[/i] and in particular the part on Geometric and Pavement design of highways. I was really fascinated to know that there were so many technicalities involved in the design and construction of the highways that I have been travelling over the years. During that semester our department organized a site visit to Golden Quadrilateral corridor between [i]XXXX - [/i][i]XXXX[/i], the Govt. of India’s ambitious plan to re-develop our highways to world standards. When I stepped on it, the magnificence of the 8-lane carriageway it left a lasting impression on my mind and was probably a cue for things that lay ahead in my future. 


 After completion of course, I joined [i]XXXX[/i] as Assistant Engineer contending in design and construction of state roads & highways. Under able supervision, I acquired practical experience on topics like Modelling, Analysis and Simulation, Traffic Flow Theory, Pavement Materials, Geometric Design of Transportation Facilities & Analysis of Transportation Systems. Thereon, under my supervision I completed construction of 11km 4-lane Link Road within [i]XXXX [/i]City. This project, introduced Friday, me to various aspects of Quantity estimation & Quality assurance at site during construction of a quality roads. This also gave a good opportunity to understand the various highway construction techniques and made me aware of the responsibilities of the design consultants. 


 Keen to obtain greater insight, I attended a seminar organized on “[i]Applications of Geospatial Technologies in Transportation Engineering”[/i]. I found the seminar extremely exciting and it helped me to understand [i]“how to create accurate base (land base, roads, railway network etc) maps using digital imagery and kinematic GPS than compared to preparation of plans and maps using classical surveying methods”.[/i] It showed use of GIS in managing feature like roads inventories, its increased ability to integrate with modelling tools, computational intelligence tools and linkage to global positioning systems.


 Fascinated by beauty of this technology, in parallel to my job I started to broaden my skill in geospatial technologies by acquiring theoretical in Geospatial Technologies. Later to gain practical efficiency, I developed small l web-based geospatial application that helped in calculating distance between two points on the maps using open source technology. In addition, I completed a short term project for [i]XXXX[/i]. 


 Since Jan 2008, I am working with [i]XXXX[/i] as Assistant Manager (working on solutions for facility networks & utility network management, logistics/supply chain & econometric problems using Geospatial Technologies and data mining in spatio-temporal data). I have been part of a team that implemented solutions for Facility Networks -- that transformed utility distribution networks into intelligent information network using geospatial technologies for various functions viz., Planning, Design Engineering Operations, Maintenance and Customer service management by accurately positioning the existing facility networks to match real world entities. It has helped in management of migrated facilities network; augmented to meet varying demands and has corresponded with cost-benefits to the utility operators under flagship of [i]XXXX[/i][i].[/i] I also headed feasibility approach that showed combined & effective use of GIS & Operations Research to obtain optimal solution for Power Line Routing Problems. I am recounting these experiences only to demonstrate a quality I believe I possess – the ability to excel in every piece of work I perform. This ability comes from my determination, drive, passion for knowledge and strong self-confidence.


 With 80% of business data having a geographical element, I find myself strongly interested in the area of Transport and Logistics including route planning, optimisation, modelling, network maintenance, fleet management and delivery assessment. The work done in so far have helped me to broaden my knowledge and helped to gain invaluable experience in industrial environment. Most importantly, they are the motivation for me to do further research and studies in my areas of interest. My long-term career objective is to become a researcher/professor at a leading research based university, and to conduct research that has significant impact on the community. Given my goal and my primary interest areas, I feel that [i]Master of Engineering in Logistics & Supply Chain Management[/i] is an ideal choice for my graduate study. I am confident that given an opportunity to study PhD, I will be able to use my knowledge, experience and passion for research to contribute significantly to the Transport and Logistics community under the guidance of eminent researchers.


 

Edited January 15, 2010 by Ved_TheOne