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Please grade my english essay....


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Please check my essay for grammar!!! Thanks!!!


        One of the most important issues this year is illegal immigration. About 5 million migrants have entered America with a legal visa. Tourists and students account for the majority entering. We need to ensure our border remains secure and protects local communities, while still delivering humane deportation programs and private detention centers. If immigrants arrive and are willing to work, have gone through proper channels to enter, and are living responsibly, why shouldn’t they be able to reside in the United States? There are hardworking families coming to the United States so they can create a better future for their children, there is nothing wrong with that. There are 11 million undocumented individuals in this country. We need to set a plan in motion to provide for everyone.
        There are many avenues to becoming a legal resident. Prior to acquiring permanent residency, you must achieve legal status. For those already here illegally they must obtain legalization through their families, if they are permanent themselves, or American citizens. Citizenship is permanent, visas are not. According to (Immigration), “To acquire legalization you must engage in or be categorized as one of the following: a family based immigrant, a member of the United States Armed Forces, a worker or student with exceptional skills, an employment-based worker, or an asylum seeker/refugee. The visa’s associated with these categories are all temporary; however, they will enable you to live in the country legally and apply for permanent residency in the future”. Having them stay here would be acceptable to me, as long as the proper paths have been taken.
        There are pros and cons to illegal immigration. Those willing to work for lower wages would help put our economy in balance. The immigrants themselves would be in better positions because they would have free will and better lives. Issues are going to arise if they commit crimes, and leave the country instead of facing the consequences of their actions. Overcrowding is also a huge issue, that is a good reason why we can’t allow people to remain here illegally. Language barriers, financial problems in our schools, and the obvious increase of population are placing a large burden on our nation.
        We seem to have a constitutional crisis on our hands. According to Heather Mac Donald, “President Barack Obama has decided that, because congress has not granted amnesty to millions of illegal aliens living in the United States, he will do so himself”, (Get In Line). This is definitely a show of reckless assertion of power. Our Constitution states the President is to follow the law, not make up his own. We need to keep in mind our economic best interests. It is not our job to provide immigration as a service to the rest of the world. Heather Mac Donald states, “No other country welcomes as many newcomers, but rewarding illegal immigration does an injustice to the many legal immigrants who played by the rules to get here. We owe it to them and to ourselves to adhere to the law”(Get In Line).
        I have done some reading on the candidates for President. There is not one I want to vote for. I think we are really in trouble. I will have to choose the lesser of the evils, so to speak. I am torn and fearful of which way to turn. While listening to some of the debates they either didn’t answer the question asked, or started using put downs on their opponents. They are not running for President of a grade school, we need a leader for our country.
        I do like Marco Rubio’s illegal immigration plans. He claims he will cancel President Obama’s unconstitutional orders, eliminate funding for sanctuary cities, deport criminal illegal aliens, hire 20,000 new Border Patrol agents, finish the 700 mile wall on the Southern Border, implement an entry-exit visa tracking and mandatory e-Verify system, and install 4 billion in new cameras and censors for the border. Rubio questions, “Is it possible to advocate continued immigration while at the same time fighting for an agenda to lift up the working and middle classes? Aren’t these two things at odds with each other? Well the answer is yes—if we continue on the path we are on” (Immigration). He admits the system we are using is chaotic. It’s not only chaotic it isn’t working. I like some of what he says, but he seems to say what people want to hear changing what he says one minute to the next.
        Hillary Clinton claims she will fight for immigration reform and a path leading to full and equal citizenship. She neglects to say exactly how she will accomplish that. I don’t see much of a plan in place, which makes me a little nervous. According to Hillary Clinton: “America needs comprehensive immigration reform with a pathway to citizenship, keep families together, and enable millions of workers to come out of the shadows” (Clinton). She does not say how she will go about this, referring only to defend President Obama’s plans he already has in place. I for one am not a fan of anything from Obama. She also intends to expand access to affordable health care to all families. She sponsored the Immigrant Children’s Health Improvement Act. It later became law, which allows children of immigrants and pregnant women to receive Medicaid and the State Children’s Health Insurance Program. It is understandable to do this for us in the United States. Not many of us can afford health care, or much of anything else for that matter. I don’t think it’s fair to make sure all illegal immigrants are taken care of especially since we have such a need for ourselves.
        I know a loose cannon like Donald Trump might come back to bite us in the ass, but we don’t have much to choose from. Do we? To quote Donald Trump, “We are the only country in the world whose immigration system puts the needs of other nations ahead of our own” (Trump.com). He says when politicians talk about immigration reform what they are referring to is amnesty, cheap labor, and open borders. I agree a real immigration transformation would put the needs of working people first. Donald insists there are three key principles to reform: “we must have a wall across the Southern Border, laws passed must be enforced, our immigration plan needs to improve jobs, wages, and security for all Americans” (Trump.com). I am in agreement with this.
        We don’t know what we are going to end up with this election year. The candidates tend to say what the people want to hear. Each opinion and plan changing like the wind. I am torn; I don’t even want to vote this year. Everyone knows things need to change. Just how this will happen is quite another thing. Promises alone will not make events and change happen.

Work Cited:

Hayes, Ted, (September 25, 2000 ). “Illegal Immigration Threatens U.S. Sovereignty, Economy and Culture,” Insight on the News, 16, (36): 46

Website, “Immigration Problem in the US,” Online, Yourhomeworkhelp.org

White, Deborah, “Analysis of Immigration Reform Proposal,” Liberal Politics: US, Available Online: http://usliberals.about.com/od/immigration/i/BushImmiReform.htm

Website, Immigration: Stories of Yesterday and Today and Ellis Island | Scholastic.com

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  • 1 month later...

I know you asked for spelling/grammar mistakes, but, the introduction is choppy. Perhaps review the first, second, and third sentences. You can likely combine them all to make something that sounds better and flows more smoothly. For the fourth sentence, think about if you were to remove "humane deportation centers." Would the sentence still make sense "while still delivering private detention centers." How do you deliver a private detention center? The word "delivering" applies to both humane deportation centers and private detention centers. I would try to reword that sentence too. The sentence that follows the question is a run-on/sentence fragment. I would advise against questions generally, but that statement following doesn't need the extra phrases after the comma, and doesn't really serve a purpose in the introduction. Rather than ending the introduction on what "we" (who is we?) need to do, you should form a thesis outlining what topics you are about to discuss regarding immigration. 

The introduction sets the tone for, and guides, the entire paper. Rework that aspect first and you should notice yourself making significant changes to the rest of the essay. 

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36 minutes ago, exitiumax said:

Rather than ending the introduction on what "we" (who is we?) need to do, you should form a thesis outlining what topics you are about to discuss regarding immigration. 

The introduction sets the tone for, and guides, the entire paper. Rework that aspect first and you should notice yourself making significant changes to the rest of the essay. 

Could not agree with this more. I read the first paragraph, realized there was no thesis providing your reader a "destination," moved onto the last paragraph and felt there had been no progress made in presenting an essay.

Start with a thesis, as @exitiumax stated. The paragraphs that follow will respond directly in support of this thesis. I would possibly start from scratch and begin again, then return to seek guidance on the writing, grammar, etc.

Also, your works cited is does not feel quite right. In the penultimate paragraph, you cite Trump.com without adding it to your works cited. In the paragraph before that, you cite (Clinton) without an accompanying work.

As one last little bit, this isn't going out in the future is it? It's already quite dated as a response considering we are past the presidential election cycle by nearly six months. I wonder what this essay is responding to or informing us of as it is not readily clear from your writing outside of "illegal immigration is both an issue and it is important."

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