Should I get the Prof something ?

[shai]

Our visiting/interview day ends at a dinner party in a Professor's house. Should i get the hosting prof. anything ? usually, if i go to diner, i will always bring something. this situation if of course a bit different. What do you think ?

[johndiligent]

You've put a slash between visiting and interview, but I think that whether this is a visit or an interview is going to make the difference as to whether you should bring something or not. If you've already been admitted and this is an invited campus visit for successful applicants then I think it would be very courteous to bring something to dinner. However, if this is an interview weekend, I think it could be an awkward gesture, like you're trying to buy their vote or shame the applicants who don't bring anything.

You might be able to get away with bringing a bottle of wine or something, as long as you don't make a show of it, but since etiquette demands that the host serve any gift of wine at the party itself, I don't see how you'll be able to pull it off clandestinely.

[fuzzylogician]

You've put a slash between visiting and interview, but I think that whether this is a visit or an interview is going to make the difference as to whether you should bring something or not. If you've already been admitted and this is an invited campus visit for successful applicants then I think it would be very courteous to bring something to dinner. However, if this is an interview weekend, I think it could be an awkward gesture, like you're trying to buy their vote or shame the applicants who don't bring anything.

You might be able to get away with bringing a bottle of wine or something, as long as you don't make a show of it, but since etiquette demands that the host serve any gift of wine at the party itself, I don't see how you'll be able to pull it off clandestinely.

I went to several campus visits that had some kind of party at a professor's house, and none of the prospective students ever brought anything. It would have been awkward, I think. A bottle of wine would have been unnecessary as well, because (at least in my experience) these parties were funded by the department so someone already took care of the drinks. Besides, we always went directly from the department to the party, and you don't want to have to carry a bottle of wine with you all day.

Edited February 7, 2010 by fuzzylogician

[rising_star]

I wouldn't bring anything other than your charming personality and best behavior.

[jordy]

However, if this is an interview weekend, I think it could be an awkward gesture, like you're trying to buy their vote or shame the applicants who don't bring anything.

I wouldn't bring anything other than your charming personality and best behavior.

Yes to all. Also, though this goes without saying but since we're on the subject of wine, be sure to watch your alcohol intake. I'm a "nervous sipper" myself (meaning I sip whatever beverage I have in my hand with increased frequency when nervous, not that I self-medicate nervousness), so if you're anything like me be sure to pay close attention to what's in your hand!