Should I ask about my SO's application?

[Backinblack]

My SO and I have applied to several schools (we each applied to the same school) and one of my top choices has accepted me. Obviously our ideal situation would be that she also gets in, but she hasn't had a response yet from any school. I'm wondering if I should ask about her application when talking with this school, since it could affect my decision to accept their offer. The thing is, I'm applying to a doctorate program and she's applying to a masters, and I'm wondering if schools generally sort through the doctorate applications before the masters applications. Any advice/info?

[dianina5]

I'm in a similar situation right now. Would you reject the school is she did not get accepted or are you willing to do a long-distance thing? I am not willing to do long-distance since I'm essentially married. I sent the schools I got accepted to a letter explaining the situation. One school replied thanking me for telling them the situation and that they will make a decision on my husband's application soon. I was a little nervous to send out that letter because it might be possible for your admission to be retracted, but I already made my choice (no long-distance), so I took the risk. I think as long as you word it well, it should be ok. I'm no expert, though. Just sharing my experience.

As for Master's vs. PhD programs: As far as I know, PhD programs have earlier deadlines than Master's programs, so I would imagine that Master's students hear from the schools later than PhD's. I think it's a matter of funding as well - PhD students are first choice for funding and I have a feeling they wait to see if there is anything left before sending out Master's decisions. From what I understand, however, it is much easier to get into a Master's program than into a PhD program. I believe it's due to funding, since PhDs basically need to be financed while Masters fork over their own money.

Good luck and congrats on getting into your one of your top choices!

[Jade]

I wouldn't chance it. They might not mind, but they could be offended and that would hurt you. Plus, they won't tell you about her specific application because of privacy issues.

I would check the Results page first for 2010 announcements or do a search for previous years' responses. If you see that your school has usually sent results by now, then she can email them. Otherwise, just wait it out.

[mediahistory]

I don't think I would raise the matter before I had a confirmed acceptance. Once they decide they want you, then you could let them know that your spouse's status affects your decision. Even then, though, I wonder if it's really wise. From an Adcomm member's POV, they deal with one student at a time. I think that the most cautious approach is to wait it out.

[Backinblack]

Thanks everyone for the feedback. I just noticed that there was a similar discussion started a couple days ago in the Waiting It Out section of the forums, and there seems to be a consensus that I shouldn't overplay my hand. I'm going to keep waiting for now.

[babaloo]

If they've already offered you an acceptance and funding, they're not going to take it away for bringing up your SO's application, so I would try to do it tactfully. If they're on the fence about her, they might swing in her favor to get you to enroll. And I think they'd be even more willing to do this since she's applying to the master's program. The way I see it, it wont hurt you to do so (that is, if they have already offered you a spot with funding), and it may help her get in and allow you guys to be together while going to your top choice.

[dianina5]

I agree with babaloo.

An update on my similar situation: one of the schools I notified has already accepted my husband (they said they were about to accept him anyway and hadn't finished finalizing the financial offer, so I ended up hearing first from them). The other scheduled an interview with him, saying that his research and application looked very interesting. It gets the person's name on the radar and, as babaloo said, might tip the chances in your SO's favor.

Since you're already accepted, they are definitely interested in you. Keep in mind that they chose you over many other people. I don't think they would retract that unless you insult them in some way. I stated that my husband and I wanted to have our applications evaluated based on our own merit and that my email's purpose is in no way an attempt to bargain. I just wanted to ask about the status of his application so that I could know my options, since I would not be able to attend without him and they do want to know what my decision is. Of course, I worded it much better and more carefully.

Good luck!

[Backinblack]

Thanks again for the advice everyone. I guess I was getting a little overanxious for nothing, because my SO just got accepted to the same school today! I can't describe the relief we felt when we read the acceptance e-mail.

Good luck to everyone who's still waiting!

[hydrangea]

I wouldn't chance it. They might not mind, but they could be offended and that would hurt you. Plus, they won't tell you about her specific application because of privacy issues.

On at least one of my applications I could list another person to release information to.

My first thoughts on this topic were to discuss things during open house with them, as this of course is the largest factor in choosing a school for me. The thing is my SO is in another (closely related) department. So of course Physics isn't going to go make things happen in a different Ad Comm on my behalf, so I would want to talk to the departments in person. Our worst case scenario is that each of us gets in somewhere the other didn't. I think the chances for a re-application being accepted would determine which town we move to.

I was looking to see if the "two body problem" had it's own topic yet, and I might create one, as this topic is maybe more specific.

[rising_star]

I was looking to see if the "two body problem" had it's own topic yet, and I might create one, as this topic is maybe more specific.

It already has one here:

There's also if both members of a couple are applying...