Personal Statement Openers

[catsareme]

I'm having a hard time going back and forth between what and how I want to to open my personal statement with. Wondering if anyone has any examples they think are really good/any suggestions on how to make an impression with that first paragraph? Thanks!

[TakeruK]

It might be field dependent and maybe even audience-specific. But I find the most compelling statements are the ones that read like research proposals. So I would write something like:

I am applying to the Planetary Science PhD program as University of XYZ. I am interested in the origin of hot Jupiters, the class of gas giant exoplanets found at extremely close separations from their parent star. These planets raise questions that challenge our current understanding of planet formation. Any consistent model of planet formation must be able to reproduce these extreme populations as well as planetary systems like our own. At the University of XYZ, I hope to study this problem with <name a method/facility/resource/etc>.

In my opinion, the compelling intro paragraph should state your goals. You should then state your research interest during your PhD. It doesn't have to be as specific as the example above but just so you get the idea. I'd follow up this interest with a justification/motivation: why this question? In answering the "why", I'd say you should focus on the scientific impact rather than personal stories that almost everyone would have. Then, end with a statement that expresses why their school in particular. What do you want to do to solve the problem? You can keep this short and general because it's not like you are committing to this path, it's just a taste of what you would be interested in, as a scientist, if they accept you.

The rest of the SOP can and should contain more about you personally, but always in context of your academic work of course. Try to tie your past experiences to the skills required to achieve your grad school goals. And near the end is where you can go a little bit more in detail about your interests. Maybe name some labs you'd join for example.

Some additional notes:

- This example paragraph is more detailed than something I would have wrote when applying, since I have the advantage of knowing way more about the field now that I have graduated
- This is just an example to show the format I have in mind, the questions I discuss has been somewhat resolved now.
- This is certainly not the only way to do it, there's tons of good ways to write a SOP, I'm just sharing what I like best.

 

[Neuro15]

Begin with a concise goal statement, ideally a goal that aligns well with the particular program that the SOP will target. 

Also please, please, don’t start with a cliché. 

[L543]

My opening paragraph was all about my interests and why the school I was submitting it to was a perfect fit given those interests. For each school I named 3-5 faculty specifically that I was interested in at the end of that first paragraph. Some schools' applications have a specific area for you to list faculty you are interested in but I still kept it in my statement.

Others might advise against this, but I wrote one statement that was applicable for all the schools, and then all I did was switch out the names of the schools and professors I was interested in. Obviously be very careful to make sure you have changed all the names to the correct school before submitting.

Edit to add: I had my statement edited by my PI, my academic adviser, and my writer father who knows nothing about my field. They all had different and very valuable feedback for my statement. I would recommend getting as many people to read your statement as possible.

Edited November 9, 2017 by L543

[TakeruK]

14 minutes ago, L543 said:

Others might advise against this, but I wrote one statement that was applicable for all the schools, and then all I did was switch out the names of the schools and professors I was interested in. Obviously be very careful to make sure you have changed all the names to the correct school before submitting.

I would recommend doing this! Although due to the different nature of the schools I applied to, I had to swap out the equivalent of one entire paragraph, not just the names. Since I referenced specific research facilities and framed my interests differently to each department that aligned better with the professors there. For example, in the sample paragraph above I wrote about understanding the origin of hot Jupiters to help us learn about our own solar system, which works well in a department with researchers studying planets in our solar system and elsewhere. But I could have framed that interest to place the formation of hot Jupiters in context with planet formation everywhere else in the Galaxy, since hot Jupiters are only 1% of planets, but they are a very interesting special case. I might have done this for a more general astronomy / physics department.

[ms123456]

I started off my personal statement with a quote from a book I read that resonated with me regarding my passion for wanting to attend a graduate program. I figured this kind of analysis is not frequent in science PhD programs. It also got to show off my vocabulary and creative mind. I have been told by advisors that natural writing skills are hard to come by in the sciences. I tend to get wordy, so I had my friend who has a history degree harshly critique it. I tried to keep it concise and unique while stating my goals.

I then spent two paragraphs speaking about my experiences and academic achievements. I had another friend critique how I was portraying myself in these paragraphs. She has a science graduate degree. 

I finally finished with two paragraphs tailored to each school and the professors I have spoke with. I used the first 3 paragraphs for all of the schools and just changed the last two keeping it manageable to individualize the applications. I don't know if this will help me at all, but it was worth the effort since I am spending a ton on application fees. I am applying for Biology programs. I don't know if this kind of freedom in the SOP is normal in other areas.