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janeng

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  1. I totally agree. I can't relate to people who put academia and education before family and significant others. I'm not saying they are "wrong." I just can't relate. I'm happy that I am starting graduate school this fall, but I plan(ned) it around my personal life, not the other way around. If I had to choose between graduate school or keeping my current relationship going, I'd keep my current relationship going. My art history professor as an undergrad was married but had lived away from her husband for two years. I would never do that. But...I do understand that there are people who are more driven than others about their work. For me, after a certain minimum threshold of career/work success is achieved (or put into motion for continued development), personal happiness takes over as a priority.
  2. My mom doesn't even have a full high school education, and she's not the least bit bothered by my pursuing graduate school. She would never say I was uppity, in part because I would never act uppity about it and in part because she's a good mom who would even be proud of my uppity attitude (if I had one). I started becoming more liberal when I met my very persuasive, influential (and at times activist) boyfriend about four and a half years ago; it had little to do with higher education. Plus, I'm a minority, and we inevitably realize that the liberal philosophy favors us. My siblings include two sisters and one brother. The brother and one sister have Bachelor degrees (accounting and computer science, respectively). My other sister has an undergrad degree and a law degree. I have an undergrad degree and am about to start grad school in the fall. My boyfriend has an undergraduate degree from years ago and started a second undergraduate degree this spring. At any rate, I think it's good to stay around people from all walks of life. I'm glad my mother has no substantial education (formal, anyway) and I honestly want to start making friends with more people who have no degree. It's easy to become a big snob because of education. (I dropped a friend because she was an East Coast education snob.) If you are aware of the tendency, you can take measures to keep your feet on the ground. And even if you don't "take measures," just don't be a snob!
  3. I'm about to start grad school in the fall, but I already have a boyfriend (been with him 4+ years and not likely to break up). I'm smart and hard-working, but he's just smart. Not to say he is completely lazy, but he's not what most people would consider hard-working enough (academically) to be a grad student. I actually think he is smarter than I am, but got B's and C's in undergrad because he just couldn't be bothered. He was also more interested in his social life. I guess my point is that two notably smart, hard-working people aren't always the best match, emotionally. So perhaps some of you future or current grad students could look to lazy girls and boys for romantic happiness!
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