Robin_Sparkles

You know...I keep telling myself that this cannot be healthy. Obsessively reading about other people obsessing over grad school and contributing my own dose of crazy here and there. Yet then I think about it a little more. I can only talk to my friends so much because most of them are not applying to grad schools. And yet, it's constantly on my mind and there's a desire to talk about it. All. The. Time. Here, we find other people that are obsessing, we find people willing to listen to our crazy thoughts on Holiday Greeting emails from out top schools, hoping it's a subtle sign of good things to come. We can mention that during the meteor shower will driving home, we saw thirteen "shooting stars"...and that's the exact number of grad schools and internships we're applying to! That has to be a sign. And this is very cathartic. We find people not only willing to listen to our crazy, but embracing it and sharing their own crazy. I think this website, though unhealthy on so many levels, is preventing several of us from jumping off a bridge...or at the very least, saving our friendships with people who don't want to hear about grad school 24/7.

I've been switching between Bon Iver and Menomena. But I'm thinking of turning on my big band music and getting a more productive vibe going.

So have you already been accepted? Or have you gotten interviews?

I haven't heard a thing. The earliest I can expect to hear anything is in about thirteen days...not that I'm counting, or anything. Although, theoretically, I already have a few auditions and interviews set up. I'm applying to four directing programs and two acting programs. Three of those six schedule a guaranteed audition. I've already scheduled those for the end of January, and then I'll have to wait to see if I get a callback/second interview. So that leaves me anxiously waiting for word from three programs...hoping I can snag even just one interview. Seems most people won't start hearing anything until mid-to-late January, or possibly early February. Oi.

I was in a house; it began with the house being up for sale. I was bored and so I decided to peruse it since I used to go house hunting all the time with my family. Suddenly, I was in cohorts with this woman without even realizing it. She needed me to hand off a bag of meth to her. But suddenly the rather populated open house was overrun by cops and they were demanding everyone line up to be searched and they had a drug dog. The woman (who was really the bad guy in this whole thing...I was just pulled into it all) freaked out and threw the bag of meth at me and told me to get rid of it. I, not knowing how to do such a thing, locked the bedroom door and rushed to the closet where I tore the bag open and scattered it on the floor. Genius, I know. But then I realized the dog would probably smell the meth on my hands from being scattered everywhere, so I rushed into the master bathroom and began ferociously scrubbing my hands and arms, trying to get rid of any scent the drug dog may pick up. i even found clothes in a dresser to change into, while an officer was knocking on the door, telling me I had to come out and join the group. Confident I would be easily passed over for my innocence, I casually strolled over and made some weak excuse about why it had taken me so long to join. The drug dog and I made eyes. He gave a sniff and seemed disinterested. A cop smiled at me. Breathing a sigh of relief, I began making idiotic small talk with the officers- explaining the idiocy of drugs and the people who deal with them, etc etc. Suddenly, the dog began to nom on my fingers. It didn't particularly hurt, just a lot of licking with a few soft nibbles. "Heh heh..., he's a friendly guy", I say. "No", they say. "He's eating the meth off your fingers. You are under arrest. My heart began to race and I tried to say anything (and everything) that would get me off the hook. But the real bad drug lady had made a deal with them and falsely placed the blame on me! Suddenly, all of the officers had to leave...I don't remember why. Perhaps they had to finish some very important paperwork...or eat a doughnut. I realized that my future was hanging in the balance. If I couldn't get out of this, I would never get into grad school. I had to get into grad school. If I didn't go to grad school, my life would be ruined! (It wasn't the drugs or the jail or the general unfortunate luck that would ruin it...it was the whole taking away my grad school opportunities that ruined my life...because that's logic). So. I orchestrated an escape plan. I found a way out of the house and rushed to a neighboring home where an elderly woman was sitting outside. I made up an excuse, saying some meth-head was after me and begged her to drive me somewhere, anywhere, that I could hide. She agreed, but the driver's door wouldn't stay shut on its own while driving so I had to hold it from behind her, desperately trying to keep it closed. But she was old and wasn't staying on the road very well; she wanted to pull off. But I could see cop cars behind her and I begged for her to keep driving- my future depended on it! The cops caught up with us, ripped open the door and found me huddled in the back seat. "But...grad school! I have to go to grad school! Don't take away my future, I didn't do anything wrong!" So. That's one of my dreams.

It's the really really soon thing that makes me more anxious. I mean, in a matter of a couple weeks we can expect to start hearing things! How terrifying is that?

I'm also applying to four directing programs. UCLA DePaul Brown Columbia I'm also looking into directing apprenticeships, if I don't get accepted into grad school. How are you feeling about your chances? Directing programs are so difficult to get into; several programs only seem to accept a couple of students a year! And ever since I finished my applications and have entered the waiting period...I'm feeling even more anxious. Brown gives an automatic chance to audition and interview, but the other three I am waiting to hear back from. When do you think you'll hear back? And how does your directing portfolio look? I never seem to be completely satisfied with mine. A costume design portfolio and a stage management book seem to be so much easier than a directing book, just considering all of the different elements you want to illustrate. Also, how much experience do you have? If you're applying to Carnegie Mellon, I'm assuming you have quite a lot. Look forward to conversing with you through this stressful time!

I'm right there with you on not knowing. Granted, I don't have children or husbands to worry about which I'm starting to feel rather thankful for right about now. However, I don't even know what to expect in the next few months in regards to traveling. A few of the programs I applied to offer interviews by invitation-only. I already know I'll be driving to Cincinnati, flying to New York, and driving to Louisville in the next couple of months for guaranteed auditions, but not knowing if I'll have to make extra trips for callbacks or interviews is very stressful! Particularly considering the high cost of travel. And I don't think there's anything more nerve-wracking than not knowing where you'll be living. I haven't applied to any programs near my current location and I also did not apply to any programs around my family. I could end up in New York, Florida, California, Illinois, or a place or two in between. Or- and this is the terrifying part- I could be rejected by every program and end up with no home to speak of and no other plans. My apartment lease is up in the middle of May. Not knowing where I'll be heading or if I'll have a place to call home is terrifying. Couple this with the fear of being able to afford grad school (and hoping for a generous financial package)...and 2013 is starting off on a rather unsure foot. So happy to hear the fears and concerns of others- as opposed to the generic "Don't worry about it, you'll get in" I'm usually faced with.