DyslexicBibliophile

Ice-cream update: (not that anyone is that interested in my ice-cream eating practices) - my boyfriend wouldn't let me eat straight from the pint or take the whipped cream container with me. He supplied me with a bowl like some sort of animal. And to add insult to injury? He told me if I really wanted more ice-cream, I could always come back for seconds . . . THEN WHAT IS THE DAMN POINT OF THE BOWL?!?!?!?! Edit - second ice-cream update: apparently he thought I was going to eat in the bedroom, which is why he disallowed eating straight from the pint. Silly him - he should very well know that the rule of the apartment is no eating in the bedroom - and therefore I only do so when he's not at home. I would never attempt to eat ice cream in bed while he's actually here, that'd be practically suicidal . . . though it tells me a lot that he wasn't going to stop me from doing so . . . I wonder what else I might be able to get away with . . .hmm. . .

1. I wish I could be like Kamisha, who is so upbeat and full of sunshine & rainbows, but I’m a cynic – so when you say you’re getting more and more depressed and starting to despair, instead of the required – “chin up! Everything will be all right! You’re amazing and get in everywhere you dream of!” – I’m finding myself saying, “yeah, me too. This totally sucks balls” (eloquent, I know). 2. Telling my boyfriend is the worst thing ever, not because he feels sorry, but because he’s a super-realist and then I am required to answer questions affirming what my back up plans. Today I was told by the head of my McNair program that I need to apply to at least three MA programs this week, when he heard this, his response was, “well it looks like you’re getting rejected across the board for the PhD programs, why would you only apply to 3 MA programs? Shouldn’t you apply to at least 5 considering the response you’re getting from the PhD’s? 3. I’m dreading the conversations about applications. Not only do I have to meet with my academic advisor later this week, who will me sure to ask (he emailed me saying he was “anxious to hear”). Also, my entire place of work knows I am applying, as well as my family (including siblings, parents, & step-parent/siblings) and my boyfriend’s family knows I’m applying (including his grandmother with a PhD who is incredibly judgmental). Luckily the last time anyone at work asked about my applications was two weeks ago before I had anything to report, but now . . . it is going to be incredibly depressing telling them the results. And my mom? She tells EVERYONE she meets that I’m applying, because she’s assumed that I would be accepted across the board. The face she makes (or change in voice modulation) whenever I tell her about another rejection is heartbreaking. 4. I entered this process with such a naïve and doe-eyed perspective. I had an amazing undergraduate GPA, and that was with taking unnecessarily high-level courses repeatedly, taking overloads almost every semester, working part-time, and doing honors options whenever I could; I also had a respectable score on my GRE verbal; my LoR were tear-worthy (one woman, who teaches graduate level courses at a different institution, said that I am the best student she’s ever had in the 17-years she’s taught, and she was the recommender who’s recommendation I doubted the most); and everyone that read my writing sample(s) and SoP said that they were excellent. I really thought I was a competitive candidate, but now I don’t feel that way, not even in the least. Okay, this is post is probably riddled with grammatical errors and all sorts of weirdness. But my ice cream just walked through the door, so you must excuse me while I go gorge myself.

My boyfriend is now (somewhat begrudgingly) doing the required ice cream run for such an occasion as this. I also told him it wouldn't be a bad idea to get whipped cream while he was at it (with a look that communicated very clearly if he doesn’t come home with whipped cream he’s a dead man). This whole process has made me feel like a one of those stereotypical raging-food-eating pregnant ladies.

I sent the official transcript just to be safe, but I did have this same experience at other schools that you’re describing. I think my issue was I didn’t know the true meaning of “electronic transcript.” I thought it meant scanned & uploaded to the application, but apparently there is this new way to transmit OFFICIAL transcripts between universities (& only about four schools in the country have the capability). As I said, I completely and totally thought by "electronic" it meant the transcripts I scanned in & uploaded to the application . . . needless to say there was some Mid-January scrambling to get official transcripts sent for those schools. I also totally messed up a few apps I didn't think needed the GRE subject score, only to get an email telling me it had not yet been received and asking me to submit it ASAP. Oops.

Not that this matters much, but that is just Rutgers. I live in NJ, grew up in NJ, and had a lot of friends do Rutgers undergrad. I graduate hs in 2010, and the incoming class to Rutgers that year was about a 1/3 larger than it was anticipated - apparently Rutgers had not realized that the recession was hitting hard and a lot of students that would normally turn down their offer of admissions to go to a better school were now going to Rutgers because it offered them better financial aid or they didn't have to leave the state. Rutgers had to SCRAMBLE to figure out what to do. I'm still half convinced this may have been a myth, but apparently they had some classes schedule through the night because there wasn't enough classroom space during the day (like, 10pm, 11pm, midnight, 2am, 4 am classes). I'm still not completely sure she was telling the truth, buy my friend swore up and down that her roommate had a 2am class. So while the method of this rejection feels like a real slap in the face, it does not at all surprise me that this is how Rutgers did it.

I just checked too - I second your "Hopes = dashed" and raise you a pint of the finest ice cream your local corner store offers. I found the method of letting us know really uncalled for - all schools could take a manners lesson from UMich, which had the finest and nicest rejection email ever.

I'm with you on Rutgers - although realistically I know I probably didn't get in - I'm keeping the hope alive . . . at least for a little bit longer.

I log in to check the status of my Rutgers application about 40 times a day - it still says "no decision" and I haven't heard a peep from them otherwise - is it stupid to still have a shred of hope?

Amen, sistah!

I got the same exact email about five minutes ago & I also wasn't sure how to interpret it . . . that "authorize" makes me feel special, but then the fact that it is a form email asking me to apply makes me think that it probably gets sent to all candidates rejected from the PhD program. Very conflicted & confused about what it means.

Yes! My entire day yesterday was wasted hitting refresh on the results page and on my Rutgers application status page. I'm going crazy waiting to hear back.

I read the book and actually have seen Donald Asher speak at a few conferences. At one of the conferences, he clarified that when he wrote that specific book, 6 was the ideal number of applications, but in today's market and with all the funding cuts lately, he suggested that 12 is now the ideal number. He still stands by the 3-3-3- rule, just now it's 30%-30%-30%. If you apply to 12 schools, make sure 4 are star schools, 4 are decent chance schools, and that there are 4 you feel pretty damn confident about getting into. He also mentioned that he would not suggest applying to any less than 10 programs in the current market. Edit - reread and realized I wasn't explaining very well; clarified some statements.

So much of what you said resonated with me. Even though I will most likely get rejected from Rutgers, I still have hopes. In fact, even when I knew I probably had been rejected at UMich, when I got an email from UMich admissions, I still had butterflies in my stomach thinking maybe, just maybe, it could be an acceptance (spoiler: it wasn't). And what you said about the subjectivity of the SoP/writing sample? SO TRUE! Everyone that read my SoP felt it was very strong, but even now re-reading it, I feel like it is a mess! Who knows what kind of mood the person will be in when he/she reads it – or what sort of stellar sample he/she may have read directly before mine. The subjectivity of this whole thing is making me nuts! I too am starting to lose hope. I’ve only heard back from two schools, but they have been rejections, and then I also have a few implied rejections from schools I just haven’t heard from but sent out acceptances and waitlist notifications. The worst part is, as you mentioned, definitely telling undergraduate professors/recommenders. I need to meet with one professor to get some paperwork signed and I am absolutely DREADING it! He's been my academic advisor since I was a freshman and we're incredibly close - he's the first person to suggest I am capable of "going all the way" and getting a PhD. I also have a meeting today with the head of my College's McNair program, and she's definitely going to ask about applications; I am so stressed out to tell her that I've gotten two rejections and no acceptances! She will probably reassure me, but I'm still worried and stressed about it. Edit - Grammar, it no love me no more.

I don't have any Lit. courses this semester b/c it's my last and I need to finish up stupid gen. ed. requirements so I can actually graduate. This means I don't directly see any of my (beloved) Lit. professors unless I need something. Even though I really need to talk to this one professor about signing some paperwork, I keep putting it off because I really can’t handle him asking about applications.

Amen!

No - we have definitely reached that level . . . nothing sad about it at all. I had the same exact reaction when I saw it.

No problem – thanks for the clarification!! I probably just read a "maybe" and was so desperate for news that I somehow transformed it into a "definitely.” I guess this means I just need to be patient.

Someone posted over the weekend that when he/she spoke with DGS, he/she was told all decisions had been made and notifcations would go out today (can't find the exact post) - maybe that's not accurate? Ugh. All I know is I am so done with this process.

Anytime you want – they’d already be transporting me to the loony bin if that happened to me . . . though . . . I hate to be Miss. Brightside over here (cause it can be damn annoying), but at least it wasn't an email apologizing because they can't offer admission, right?

Anyone heard anything from Rutgers yet? I'm on pins and needles waiting! Edit - apparently grammar goes out the window when I post from my phone.

: ( But I'm impatient and my choices keep dwindling with each rejection . . . and mid-March feels like an eternity from now!

Yeah, no - it's just gotten to the point where we're both too damaged to be returned for resale.

Better than me - I'm just a piece of work 24/7 - just ask my boyfriend/romanticallyinvolvedroommateof5years.

Kamisha - can we nominate you for a Miss. Congeniality award or something? You're too awesome for real-life.

OH MY GOD - YESSSS. This. So this. I had a few people read over my SoP(s), but for some reason, I was too embarrassed/shy/insecure to ask my professors to read it over. This is seriously one of the stupidest things I could have done. Also – the people that reviewed it were way too complimentary now that I think about it – I really wish I had someone read it that would have ripped it apart, only because then I would have been forced to doubt what I wrote and then justify it.