I know exactly where you are coming from. Try shy, introverted, can't handle groups of people, and very conscious of your accent..
I guess all I can tell you is, don't let it stop you. You've already been accepted so you don't need to worry about making a bad impression, and you definitely should go and see how you feel about being at the school, how you like the city, etc. If the people make you feel very uncomfortable, then that is something you may want to consider when making a decision. Don't worry about a professor calling on you in class--why would they expect someone who is just sitting in on one class in the middle of the semester to be able to contribute to the discussion? Of course they'd welcome it if you did, but I doubt anyone expects it. As for handling awkwardness, I find it's easiest to simply acknowledge that it's there and not try to fight it. Sometimes you click with people (they can be awkward like you or very extroverted) and that is a good indication of someone you will enjoy working with. Sometimes the conversation is just awful, but that also tells you something important. I wrote off my top choice because of a disconnect with two of the three professors in my field there. They do great work and their students like them, but I couldn't imagine going through 5 years of strained silences and awkward smiles..
Just know that there are a lot of people just like you in academia. Try to look at this trip as an exercise in personal growth. Anywhere you go, making connections is important, so eventually there is no avoiding it. You'll soon be expected to stand in front of a class and lecture, so you have to start handling these situations sometime. Why not start now, when you've been accepted and it's safe to make mistakes?
Other factors:
- ability to design and teach your own course
- corollary: are the courses taught ones you would want to teach?
- how well you get along with other students
- summer funding, whether to go do your own research, to teach, or for both
- professional development opportunities (workshops, chance to co-author papers)
- availability of dissertation writing fellowships (so you don't have to be a TA or RA while writing)
- average time to degree for your advisor's students
- how well you get along with your potential advisor (and I mean in terms of personality, not just in terms of research fit)
- weather
- extracurricular activities that you want available in your area
- proximity to major airports (and then average cost to fly home)
- availability of conference travel funding (and how much that funding is)
- computer resources (computer labs, software availability, etc.)
I was quite anxious before my first interview, so I scoured this site for detailed descriptions of what interview weekends are like. I found a lot of information about the interviews themselves, but I wanted all the nitty-gritty details: what do people wear, what events are there, etc. I only found a couple, so I thought I'd write my own account for people who have interviews in the future and are as neurotic as I am!
I had an interview for Developmental Psych last weekend, from Thursday to Saturday. Since I bought my flight last-minute, I arrived quite early during the day (1pm versus everyone else's mid-late afternoon arrival), but my POI knew I was getting in early and had planned my afternoon for me! I was picked up at the airport by a current grad student who drove me to campus and dropped me off at my POI's lab meeting, which was almost over. Then my POI bought me some lunch since I hadn't eaten all day and we went to her office to chat for about 45 minutes. It was a bit strange because she didn't want to talk science: she said we'd save that for our official interview the next day. So instead, she told me about her students, how the lab works, and answered some of my questions about her advising style and whatnot. For the rest of the afternoon, she'd set up individual meetings for me with everyone in her lab (grad students and post-docs), each of which lasted 30-60 minutes. Everyone was super nice and told me about their work, showed me videos, walked me around the lab facilities, and asked me questions. They were all very willing to answer questions about the department, city, lab, and POI; I think they were answering them candidly! I did kind of run out of stuff to talk about with the last guy, with whom I had an hour-long meeting and not very much in common. However, we just started talking about music and traveling and stuff and it was cool.
After my last meeting, one of them drove me to another grad student's house where there was a dinner for all the applicants and the grad students who would be hosting us, so I finally got to meet them. There were 13 of us in total, and nobody knew anyone else coming into it. We started with somewhat awkward introductions but it soon became pretty relaxed and fun. We were all in normal casual wear and were eating take-out pizza, and everyone was equally nervous and excited and nice, so it was very chill. My host (a student in the lab I was applying to, although many applicants were matched with different-lab hosts) then took me back to her place where I chatted with her a little, met her cats, and then fell asleep on her couch extremely early (I'd been up since 4am to catch my flight!).
Friday was interview day. We'd been told to dress "business", but I don't own a suit so I went with a black "proper" skirt, grey striped collared shirt, and black V-neck sweater. I'd say about 2/3 of the applicants were in suits (I was quite surprised at this, actually!) and the rest were wearing things similar to me (or sweater vests, business-y pants, etc). We all had breakfast together in the Psych building and had a talk from the program head. Then from about 10-12 and 1-3, we had interviews. Everyone had 4 or 5 interviews, including an hour with their POI. The other interviews with 30 minutes with the program head, 1-2 research-related profs, and 1-2 random profs. The interviews actually ended up being a lot less scary and a lot more fun than I was anticipating. In almost every case, you introduced yourself and your research, they introduced themselves and their research (particularly aspects of it that you might find interesting), and then there was some talk about overlapping stuff or questions about the research or whatnot. Then there was a fairly long time to ask general questions. In most cases, the 30 minutes sped by! Some of the interviews were in different buildings, and in all cases there was someone to walk you to your next meeting: either the prof you'd just spoken to or a grad student (I thought it was quite sweet that some grads were really just ferrying people around all day!).
After the interviews, me and the 2 other girls applying to the same lab as me were given a tour of the lab facilities by a grad student and the lab manager. Following this, we had a couple of free hours on the schedule... however, our POI wanted us to feel "welcome" and so she made sure we had stuff to do! We went to a random social that was happening in the building, then my host took the three of us on a driving tour of the city. We stopped back home to change clothes (switched to dark jeans and a funner collared shirt, kept the V-neck and nice shoes) and then went to a dinner at the head of the department's house. All the faculty, applicants, and grad students were there, so we had a chance to meet literally everyone. My POI made a point of having some 1-on-1 conversation with the 3 of us applying to her lab, which was nice. She was really trying to get to know us. My host and I left around 10, when the party was breaking up. I'd gotten to know her by then so when we got back to her place, I had a chance to get some inside information on the lab, the POI, and the admission process; a benefit to staying with someone in the lab you want, I guess!
Finally, on Saturday we were all back in casual clothes for breakfast and campus tours. The grad students walked us around campus, and some of us were driven out to another research facility we might be using as well, before they started shuttling people out to the airport.
All-in-all it was a really great time! I feel like I learned a lot about the department, city, and lab. It was great to meet everyone in person and get an idea of the atmosphere of the department, which is really difficult to judge from afar. I don't usually love hanging out with tons of people I don't know for long periods of time, but the grad students I met were super cool and all the applicants were in the same boat, which makes it really easy to get along!
Wow, that ended up longer than I expected! I hope this helps future interviewees who are looking for ridiculously detailed descriptions of interview weekend!
