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LibraPorLibra

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  1. Thank you both juilletmercredi and Loric. In all honesty, these were the kinds of posts I expected when I asked this question. I’ll answer some of the points raised in the new posts. First of all, my health will never improve. It can either remain stable, as it is now, or it will continually become worse. For the average person, stable is still bad. I see my specialist each month for updates and to see where I stand. With that said, I have waited for a better time (really optimistic of myself) to move and continue my studies. I’ve waited 6 years for better health and I am no further ahead. In a perfect world, I would have accepted my offer of admission at the University of Toronto but that isn’t how life worked out. If I had options to attend studies on campus, I would be there in a heartbeat. (No pun intended.) However, that isn’t the case for my health. I could lay around and say, “Hey! I have a serious chronic illness, this is my free pass to dabble in online education or just not to study at all! No pressure!” I am honestly sick and tired of waiting. Sometimes, things don’t get better and we have to find ways to overcome. Secondly, yes, it is a small town mentality in question here. It is not so much that I cannot leave town because I am tied down to my cardiologist or services but rather, I would have absolutely no support system. Not that you are interested in a tract about my health but I do need help. Who will be there when I am vomiting uncontrollably at 3 AM? Who will be there when I have to be taken to hospital? Bigger cities may have superb medical infrastructure and universities may have defibrillators but they cannot provide caregivers. I have a husband but he cannot leave his responsibilities here either. Someone has to work for the insurance to cover my drugs that aren't covered and be the stable breadwinner for the days I cannot work. Before the question is asked, yes, I feel that I am well enough to complete studies. It is only that I need help and a caregiver when I can't crawl out of bed. Thirdly, graduate and post-graduate studies have become “a dream” because at this moment they seem unattainable. It isn’t like I’ve sat here for years saying, “My, wouldn't it be wonderful if I could add letters at the end of my name!” If you asked me when I was 22, I would say studies were just something I would have to do to increase employability in my field. However, years later and many obstacles in the way, education has become a dream. Maybe it’s fine for some chronically ill people to end up on disability and to not better themselves, but for me, in whatever life I have, I want to say I became a “small” expert in my field. Anyways, after that treatise on an explanation of the term “dream”, I aim for graduate and post graduate studies to enter the world of academia or simply upper levels of public service. In my employment which is considered a contract of government services, those higher ups all have postgraduate education. Additionally, if you seek funding for “outside of academia” social research, one prerequisite is a doctoral degree. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed or not but without a PhD in international monetary economics, nobody really listens. It isn’t like I’m expecting to become a bigshot but to have the most opportunities in the area of theory in this field, the most education and research possible is a must. Just as you have your plan for your education and life, this is only my plan. Plans don’t always come into fruition. If I am not accepted into a PhD program, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. I’d use my education to the best of my abilities. Remember, all of this may look good on paper and it may be a path but life doesn’t stay on script. In the end, I wouldn’t look for “sympathy” from admission boards. In my personal experience, when my undergrad university announced its disability scholarships, my professors were all too amazed at what I accomplished. I wish I had a magic wand that I could move to a metropolis or that my health wasn’t an issue. It is what it is and I am only trying to find a viable path to education that has forks in the road due to no fault of my own. Online education may not be my desired path but if it can help me realize anything positive in my life, I value it. Whether an admissions board values it is another story, but, I guess I'll cross that bridge when I can get there. Anyways, thank you both for the dose of reality and I hope I answered some of your uncertainties.
  2. So, I'm not exactly sure that I want to comment on this. However, you seem to have a misinterpretation about how women at the top of their field do not seem to have personal lives. (Sorry, I didn't read every page but the idea I'm getting is that you need your "perfect life" early.) Have you come into contact with clinical social workers and clinical psychiatrists? I come into contact with either professions on a pretty steady basis. In fact, I've become friends with a few. You see, we work in immigration services. Not only helping people with resettlement issues but also the mental stress that occurs with such a drastic life change. Some bring their mental illnesses with them. Anyways, these folks do their time at our place and then have their own practices. I've mentioned this because I'd like you to have an understanding about the hours of work involved. They've accomplished your future dream: a success practice. Each one of these woman has the opposite viewpoint than you. While you are in a rush to be married, have a long term relationship or children out of graduate school, these successful women are devoting their "early years" to their professional life. In our girl chats, they don't expect to even consider marriage until 30 or mid 30s. Why? It takes time to build a practice and you need to devote yourself to building your reputation. Once you have a reputation in your field and you are a mainstay, that is when these women feel it is the best time to get married or have a family. Keep in mind, many "young love" relationships do not stand the test of time. The person you are in your early 20s isn't necessarily the person you remain to be in your late 20s. Would you want to be building your practice/reputation when you have so much personal drama going on behind the scenes? If you want to help people, this isn't the best foundation. Also, I think there is a lot of confusion that you wouldn't have a "social life" while building your practice. Again, personally speaking, the women I know DO have very active and vibrant social lives. Then again, a social life at 22 is a lot different in comparison to someone that has graduated and professional responsibilities. I mean, that is not the say there isn't the odd wild weekend. And no, not all of them is involved in a long term relationship at the moment. Sometimes, just dating without a mission can be fun. Furthermore, the ones that are married or with their boyfriends met these great guys later on. Definitely not at 22. Think about this, Mr. Perfect Guy needs time to find himself and develop his career also. Perhaps, in the end, you'll find the person you're meant to spend the rest of your life with at graduate school. Perhaps, you'll find him in the future at professional engagements. Focus on your education and you know what, life just happens. It's always the women on a "man hunt" that never seem to get their prey. (I think along the lines of the desperation posts.) Just because the people around you are having children or married, it doesn't mean that is the right plan for you. You're on the outside looking in; the grass is never greener on the other side. This is coming from a married woman. I met my husband when my car needed service and he just happened to be the mechanic working that day. A die hard economist and a grease monkey. Sometimes, you never know what happens. I hope this comes across as a respectful reply and I hope that you see there is no "ticking clock" in life. Take care.
  3. Hello again. I apologize for replying late. Thanks for the advice and the replies. Nnnnnnn, yes, I'm planning on applying for awards/fellowships to "supplement" my CV. I agree that awards (especially from outside sources; primarily those offered on merit by the fed. government) can "add stars" if they university's name is lacking. So, besides making sure I maintain a strong relationship with my advisor and professors, I'll ensure I dedicate time to the awards/fellowships avenue. Thanks again, everyone.
  4. Hi qualthian, Thank you for taking the time to answer. I agree with your points and value the advice. It makes complete sense, honestly. I will have to be proactive and ensure that my advisor can do all that they can. I do worry that the lack of "real" environment will hinder research and opportunities. I truly want to perform my best but I know, in the end, the lack of an actual campus may be an issue. I wonder about missing conferences and guest speakers that those in my field will enjoy with their campus education. With that said, I am trying to do the best I can at the moment and not waste any more time due to my illness. Thanks again!
  5. Hi, I'm sorry if this post doesn't belong under this section. I went through each section and I thought this was a "catch all" question. Bear with me as I explain my situation and then humbly ask for your opinions. I do not live in an area with a strong university. It is small and does not offer graduate programs. I went to this university because I am medically disabled. I have a heart condition in that my ticker has to be regulated and my cardiologist felt without a strong team behind me it would be unwise to go out of town for my education. You know, scared, alone and no one to be with me in case I need to be rushed to hospital. Anyways, I studied here, earned my BSc in Economics and graduated cum laude. The freedom I had during these years seemed to leave me after graduation. At this time, my condition worsened but I was adamant I would complete my graduate studies. Graduate studies had been my goal for years. In some odd mix of stubbornness and unrealistic thoughts, I thought I would leave town to complete my studies. My cardiologist stopped me in my tracks and told me this was the worst idea on the planet. Up until last year, I wandered aimlessly trying to find a way to complete my education. It was suggested that I find an online degree from a recognized brick and mortar university. I've found one from a university in the top 2% in the world. Whilst I am getting over my hang ups that it is "online" and the university stated one cannot tell the difference between the degree offered on campus compared to the online version, I worry. I do not want to put the cart ahead of the horse but I still have dreams of going on to complete my Doctorate. I hope that my health will be stabilized by that time or someone will move with me so that I can fulfill this dream. Anyways, the university in which I am applying is not as highly ranked as I would like and isn't extremely well known. If I receive high grades in my programme, in the future if possible, what would be my chances of being accepted to postgraduate studies at a better recognized educational institution? I'm worried that two degrees from "less than well known" schools may affect my hiring for work or any path I choose to take in academia. I had been accepted to the best school in Canada (according to rankings, not opinion) but I had to turn this down because of my health. I'd like to set my mind at ease before I go blowing money on tuition. I wish I wasn't so stubborn. Thank you!
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