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In the interest of helping you with multiple problems, I am streamlining your questions from several threads into one answer on this thread: how to meet people, how to find a man, how to become more independent, and whether or not grad school is right for you. It is not a bad thing to want to get married and start a family. The more you plan ahead, the more likely it is going to work out well for you. Right now you are suffering from scarcity mentality, because you think it is never going to happen. The best cure for this is to go on as many dates as you can, and meet new people as often as possible. In my opinion, grad school is a good option for you -- *IF* you do it correctly. By this, I mean that you will need to take it seriously and apply yourself. It will make you more employable to have an MSW degree, and anybody who wants to be a parent needs to be prepared for the possibility that they may need to work in order to support their children. Spouses can lose their jobs, become ill or injured, die, or may leave the marriage, and you do not want your children to suffer in the meanwhile. So even if you do not plan to work, you should be able to work in case you have to pay some or all of the bills. Another benefit of having a job, even if just for a while, is that it will make you more independent and more understanding, and these are good traits for dating. It also gives you pocket money for a social life. So, Rx for your problems: 1. Start working on yourself ASAP to make yourself look as reasonably attractive as possible to men. Every man is different, but many men prefer women who are a healthy weight, fit and toned, have a flattering, feminine hairstyle, clean teeth and skin, tasteful makeup, and a flattering, feminine style of dress. Dressing for men is not the same thing as dressing for women -- there are books and blogs that teach how to do this in a sexy yet classy way. You do not need to spend a lot of money -- what you want are low-maintenance, cute outfits and a beauty regimen that you can do *quickly* each morning so when you meet new people each day on campus, you look pulled together and feel good about yourself. If you do not know how to do any of these things, there are people that can teach you how (like hair and makeup at a salon, for example). 2. Practice being relaxed, positive, and fun to be around. Men will run if you complain or cry about your problems, especially marriage and children. They will think you are crazy. So don't do it. In the early stages of dating, men care about: -- If he is attracted to you -- Do you make him feel good emotionally -- Does he enjoy spending time with you So make these your priorities too and you will be a better dater. 3. Practice independent living skills ***immediately***, before you go to school. If you don't know how to do laundry, learn. Same for how to cook a meal, how to shop for groceries, how to make a budget, how to clean a bathroom, etc. Start now. Get your mother or someone else to show you how to do these things, one at a time. If you want to be a stay at home mother you will need to learn how to run a household and take care of the family. 4. Get some professional pictures made for new dating profiles. There are photographers who specialize in casual portraits for social media and internet dating profiles. This typically will be a 30 minute to an hour session in a local public place such as a park. You'll get 8 to 12 photos, probably for around $150 - $200. Google can help you find one who is legit and has a money-back guarantee. 5. Close down your current dating profiles and start over -- with your new photos, and your new location, a few weeks before school starts. After 6 months, any dating profile you have on the internet is old news, and you should close it down, get new pictures made, and write a new profile. Follow the advice in step #2 -- write something that is relaxed, positive, and fun to be around. Put in your preferences that you would like to have a family and then drop the subject for a while. 6. Pick 2 dating websites that are targeted for serious lookers, and not for 'hookups'. You will still get flakes, married people, liars, and people that have some loose screws, but you will cut down on the number of time wasters if you choose quality sites, have a quality profile, and set up dates within 2 weeks of contact -- if he hasn't asked you out, say, "I think we should meet. Do you have plans for (day)?" If a man won't meet up within 2 weeks of initial contact, then cut contact and move on. Same thing if he breaks a date -- give him one chance to reschedule, and then move on. You do not have time to waste on people who are not serious about meeting up in person. You will need to put most of your time and energy into meeting people offline -- that's why you should only have 2 online dating profiles at a time. Anything more is a time-sink and a money-sink. You will need to be very efficient with your time and your money in grad school. 7. By this time you should be scheduling 1 to 2 dates a week as school is underway. First dates from dating websites need to be short and close to your campus -- about an hour in duration, 90 minutes if it is going well. Drinks or an appetizer at some atmospheric place nearby. Treat each date as an opportunity to get to know a new man better, not Prince Charming who has come to save you. Most of these people you will not see past the first date. That's fine. Accept this and don't be surprised by it. It takes a while to find someone right. 8. You must make school your top priority, but in between time, join in social activities on campus as much as you can. Go to the campus gym -- a great place to work out, stay in shape, and meet men and women. Join any grad student organizations that are available. Find places where older students tend to hang out -- you want to meet men in their mid 20s to early 30s that are single and ready to settle down. Let your roommates and female friends know you are looking -- women have male family members and friends who may be right for you. Interests and hobbies can also provide friends and dates. How do you make new female friends and roommates? You'll meet people in your classes. Ask to be introduced to new people. You can find roommates from ads -- online and from campus message boards. Campus housing may have some resources to help, too. It helps if you get started several months before school starts. 9. If you are religious, then religious organizations may be a good place to find people who are looking for marriage and children, such as a church or temple, particularly one that has a younger membership of 20 and 30 somethings. Civic organizations and related campus groups may also attract mature men with family-oriented wishes. 10. Avoid wasting time and money on bars, clubs, and other venues unless you just want a fun night out with the girls. Yes, some people do meet the man of their dreams in a bar or club, but most people are there to drink, blow off steam, and possibly hook up. It's not the environment to husband-hunt. Be efficient with your time and money. Also avoid wasting time online with Facebook and other time-sinks. 11. Work on getting another intership or 2 while you are in school, so you can keep your debt down, get work experience, and gain confidence in yourself. It will also make you more attractive to potential mates if you can take care of yourself. If you treat this process seriously, then you will take your frustration and negative feelings and turn them into something positive. You want to find the best quality man you can who will make a good husband and father, so take a while to get to know a man before you get serious with him. You will also have a successful grad school experience, a job, and friends, if you put in the effort and treat all of these with respect. Good luck.

I suppose it depends on the pet project. Without a strong interest in the subject matter, most people won't have the energy to make it through the obstacle course of an advanced degree. I would think that to someone, cancer research, alternative fuel sources, the future of the English language, crop yields, and thought-provoking art could all be 'pet projects'. Also research that seems useless to many today can yield very interesting applications down the road. I saw a documentary on some professor who researched the math of folding shapes, i.e. origami. His work is now being used on improving airbags in the auto industry.

Slanting this question with different wording -- "why do people choose the fields they do for an advanced degree, particularly in cases where said degree is not necessary for employment": Some of it comes down to 'different strokes for different folks' -- most people have likes and dislikes. Some people want to teach in their fields, which requires an advanced degree in many cases. The ante keeps getting upped every few years -- a Master's degree is becoming the new Bachelor's degree, and the Bachelor's degree is becoming the new high school diploma. So this trend encourages a lot of people to continue with school. For others it could be a personal goal. Wanting to advance in their field. Enjoyment. There are some people who go on to graduate school because they don't know what else to do with their lives -- but this is probably distributed across many fields, not just those fields that have a more challenging employment outlook in terms of employer demand.