arthad

Disclaimer: I'm not very familiar with UK higher ed, so take the following for what it's worth.

It sounds like you're not resident in the UK. Is that correct? A quick glance at the EPSRC website seems to indicate that EPSRC studentships are available only to people who have been living in the UK for at least three years with "settled status" (http://www.epsrc.ac.uk/funding/students/Pages/eligibility.aspx). If that's the case, and you were applying for a studentship, that explains why you weren't granted one. That would also mean that an unfunded offer from Oxford is not the equivalent of a rejection, as it might be for a UK resident; it just means that they offered you what they usually offer international students whom they wish to accept. If you were applying for something other than a studentship, I would still imagine that EPSRC funding is still available only to UK/EU citizens, as is the case with AHRC. Your friend from the UK was probably speaking from the perspective of a UK resident, for whom no EPSRC funding would be more like a rejection than anything else.

I don't know why the original post is getting many negative votes. I think it's a legitimate question, and a good one at that. I realize that someone who asks such a question about vacation days risk sounding lazy and not as serious about grad school. I totally agree that this is a question for students, not the professors. However, that being said, wanting 3-4 weeks off, especially for international students is not unreasonable, especially taking into consideration how much work is being done the rest of the year. Some professors are fine with longer vacations as long as you produce results the rest of the time. Others balk. It varies from prof to prof, and where you are in your degree at the time. It is also something to be negotiated with the professor.

Also, American grad students tend to have this self-flagellatory approach towards grad school, taking almost a grim sense of satisfaction in clocking hours working weekends, and comparing how few days of vacation taken. It does seem to be the norm, but that doesn't mean it's healthy! If you can work out something that suits you and is acceptable to your prof, go for it!

Honestly, to be very frank, taking our 80,000 in loans is a terrible idea for a master's degree...in just about anything. Look at the job market. Look at your expected salary after you finish the master's degree. Look at all the other debt that you are carrying--car, credit cards, undergraduate student loans, etc. How much money can you make next year without a master's degree? Now add 40,000 to that number, and that's the opportunity cost of going to graduate school.

This is my personal, cynical, biased opinion. Master's programs in the humanities and social work are full of people who take out HUGE loans for comparably little reward. These master's students take classes with PhD students who are not only on a full scholarship, but are also getting paid a (barely) living stipend. You are sinking into debt, they are treading water.

ppl don't always get what you dream of. This is just how life is. So stop crying and move on. You didn't get in so what? Maybe that dream school of your is not a perfect fit for you after all. Cheer up alright. Think of those ppl who are suffering in Japan and those who got rejected by all of their dream schools. You are way better off than they are.

I could be way off the mark with you two, but I don't think your husband would take you seriously if you try talking to him (contrary to what most people here say). I'm in a similar situation. My girlfriend and I are both in college, and we're both highly competitive. Whenever good things happen to me, I'm ten times as happy when something good happens to her. But when nothing happens to me, well, I think it's only natural to feel defeated. And I may even do other things (like read for fun) to justify why nothing is happening to me. And as this pattern continues, I'd probably sink deeper and deeper.

In his defense (come on, no negs here), I think its easier for you to feel happy for him when something good comes along, because you are in a better position. It's probably very difficult for you to put yourself in his shoes. And I think the more things that work out for you and not for him, it will only make his attitude worse, might even make him less motivated to even try, and will probably make him feel more insecure about himself. I'm sure talking to him will probably sound patronizing and condescending.

I think the best thing for him to do is to find something that motivates him again and that will raise his self esteem. Nobody wants to be the loser, not even you. But as I think was rightly said above, there is nothing wrong from your position, you shouldn't hold back on your hard work and accomplishments. Its really his problem and something only he could/should fix.