spankyT

Thanks so much for all the advice. I know in my heart what is the right thing to do, but sometimes when doing the right thing...it doesn't always feel right. I am quite scared, but as it was pointed out it can catch up to me and everyone involved. I have just reported it confidentially to a faculty member I completely trust, which is turning out to be more horrific than I thought, after we both carefuly went through the entire grant, we realized this faculty member was listed as a type of collaborator with my current lab and my advisor had written we had 'established' and attained results with his lab, which were never done. So this is bigger than me. That faculty is now deciding what we should do. He told me it could destroy me, and there is no way I can get out of this without harm. I couldn't find an ombuds person at my department level, it seems there is one way high up in admin I would have to go to...which I feel entirely uncomfortable and I am not sure if I can trust that. I am frantically trying to get my last experiments done. I just know, how could I graduate with a Ph.D and know in the back of my mind I couldn't uphold the basic principle of what it means to be a scientist and I left behind with full knowledge an individual that will continue to go down this road, taking advantage of collaborators, students, government dollars, putting at then all at risk.

Thank you

I apologize for implying racism. I should have worded it differently, I was simply stating the facts. English is my first language, I am actually also Chinese-American. And when I have brought this up to other Chinese friends from China, I have actually had one of them apologize to me for this behavior (although totally unnecessary) and saying how it was embarassing that some Chinese people behave in such a way to give others such a reputation. Anyway, this is not about race. I am more disturbed by the pure ethics of it all.

Thanks for your insight Mocha, you are right, I should focus on the common ground in a more positive light, thanks

If anyone could relate to this, I would love to hear your thoughts... Long story short... I have lost respect for my advisor, ethically and scientifically, and for the entire lab. Major things: Based entirely on my thesis work I drafted out the aims and provided all the relevant preliminary data for a NIH grant, which led to a successful accession of an RO1. My advisor refused to show me the final draft prior to submitting the grant, and also did not give it to my collaborator who is working with me on my project. Finally after the grant was accepted, after much persuasion, I attained a copy. And to my horror upon looking into it, I see my advisor fabricated data, he inserted western blots for which I did not do the experiments for nor own the antibody, made false qpcr graphs with error bars, made a section based on an 'idea' to supplement one of the aims which came from the sky, etc I didn't even read the whole grant carefully, everytime I look at it I find something new that upsets me. He steals my data (he keeps asking me to give updates), and gives it to the Chinese (advisor is chinese) friends behind my back, uses it all over the place to apply for all kinds of grants left and right -- and I would not be surprised if he manipulated the data and 'added' to it to make it a great seller. I solidified my doubts, when there were times my advisor said, grants do not need real data, it's just preliminary stuff. And another time he told me I don't need to send him my data, because he remembers generally what I showed him once and he can 'recreate' the image.... There is a chinese circle going on in the lab. Many years ago, there was a very aggressive moody chinese postdoc who my advisor dearly loved. When this postdoc got a professor position in China, he stole over 100 antibodies from the lab, and reagents, bacteria stocks the night before he left on the plane -- many of which personally affected me because my work overlapped his of which I had to "borrow" on hands and knees to use "his" antibodies, for which I had none of my own. To this day, we need to email him to RE-send "back" the bacteria stocks missing from our lab that people need to use for their projects. I did not ever imagine it was allowed to take all these reagents over to China, but it happened. I was pissed off. I wrote a long email describing what happened, telling my advisor how I can't even do my own research because everything is Gone! The advisor defended this former postdoc, saying he has a right to take what he needs from the lab to establish his lab, because in China is takes a long time to ship american products there. Yes. On top of this, that postdoc was insanely obsessed with my project, and kept trying to get involved with my work. At one point, my advisor told me I should let this former postdoc do experiments for my project In China In his Lab, experiments which I could easily do myself and were unnecessary. I fought that off with a long angry email, and documented how I independently conceived my project and designed every single experiment leading up to my own conclusions, nothing but the truth. The saga continues, as this 'collaboration' between our lab and this former postdoc continues, which involves him mysteriously getting 'involved' with other people's projects in our lab and his name getting on our labs papers it even if he did barely anything/nothing. I don't understand why he can't do his own work on China? Each time my advisor defends him, saying how it is so hard in china, because to maintain your grants they look at how many publications you have, and if you don't have enough they cut the money..so we must help this former postdoc. Clearly there is some circus going on here, as I heard my advisor wants to set up another lab in China, so there is something going on between them. everytime some chinese person goes over to china, they put reagents and cells into their suitcase over for this former postdoc. On top of everything, over the years the lab has transformed into mini China. I love diversity, but I don't like the idea of exclusion and loss of professionalism. People can speak their native tongue, but when it comes to science it should be in english to include everyone. It doesn't help my advisor speaks Chinese All the Time with all the chinese people, which has encouraged them to do the same. And also he prefers chinese people now, so he takes chinese over any other ethnicity, and now the lab is 80% chinese. I have lost my respect and motivation, there is SO much more, but what I described is just a fraction of what I have to deal with, lets not mention the disposal of chemical waste down the sink and biohazard risks they practice in the lab due to pure laziness or cultural belief, despite my continuous reminders and pleas. I am in my eighth year of my Ph.D. I want to get out. I am getting closer to finishing my project, and still need to publish, so I still have time to put in... My problem is how to deal with this, I am considering reporting it to the dept head after I graduate. I don't know. I am just trying to keep sane, and stay motivated so I am not running in place everyday. I work at night to avoid people, because I've reached a point after listening to years of chinese, I am sick of feeling isolated and used. They only speak english when they want me to help them, give them something, want me to do something. I shouldn't react the way i do, but I'm frustrated and I get so angry at them. any thoughts??? this is so long, so much for the long story short, but believe it or not it is the short version