Slorg

I have no clue, but my opinion is: why draw attention to weak points from last year? Why not just send in a strong application with no mention of the past one?

'Fit paragraphs' often go at the end of personal statements, when the applicant steps back from their past experience and talks about their future goals and why they want to be accepted to program X. My question is: Is it a major error to start talking about future goals and fit in the introductory paragraph (in addition to the end, where it will probably more concrete and related to the rest of the statement)? Obviously, my question is general and there's no right answer and it always depends... but... what are your thoughts on this? Should the personal statement writer build credibility first by talking about her past experience before she discusses her future plans?

Yeah... I'm struggling with figuring out what to write for that essay. I sure wish there was an option to leave it blank.

I've always heard to take the limit very seriously. Although it isn't a big deal on their side to get an essay slightly too long, it also shouldn't be a problem for you to fit your essay within the limit. Going beyond the limit may indicate your inability to follow instructions and your lack of desire to keep the application playing field fair.

Nice essay. I particularly like your introduction (with the exception, perhaps of the last sentence, which could be maybe be reworded better). The second and third paragraphs I think are a little vague/cliche, and don't add much value to the SOP. The program for your sibling in high school probably isn't significant enough to include (or, if it is, illustrate why) and its connection to helping humanity is strained. The final four paragraphs are much stronger, although there seems to be lots of telling and not so much showing (but I'm terrible at the show, don't tell thing so I don't what advice to give you there). Your conclusion is also good, tying into the introduction and your goals and how Stanford fits into them. One last thought: you talk about working with Prof X, Y, and Z. Maybe that 'and' should be an 'or' so it doesn't seem as presumptuous. Hope this helps! (Even though it's vague)