McKenna

Welcome to Texas?!!! If you will be in Corus Christi I'd be happy to answer any questions.

Last year every one of my applied programs went well into April with acceptances. And I'm glad I waited it out because some of my early acceptances were unfunded. I was eventually acepted into a funded program with an RA-ship. Marine Biology programs seem to be lacking funding again this year. So hang in there if you're still waiting. Our PI's just told us that all department funds have been spent for 2014...and it's only March!

Last year a lot of STEM majors waited it out until well into April due to the budget sequester. This too shall pass. Hang in there!

Please keep your disability and doctor appointments. They can help you but only if you follow through. I speak from personal experience. And I was able to get some great counseling and medication from the resources available at my uni. I feel so much better, I can't believe I thought my former existence was in any way normal.

If you can afford UCSC, it has some great programs. I just didn't find much funding there, or anywhere in CA for that matter. But last year was tough for funding with the sequester. Texas A&M has good funding. I don't know anything about Hawaii. I would say that you could drum up interest if you made visits to a few schools that you would consider. Being able to put a face with a name on an application is a good thing. When it comes down to a bunch of applicants all being equal, I think the personal touch is what sways the decision. Good luck!

Last year was really bad for funding. Many students were admitted with assumed funding but then the sequester hit and the funding offers never materialized. This year I think unis are better prepared to handle the situation. Ours is accepting fewer students but trying to fund those that are acccepted. But I have friends in other areas who say that offers are going out, most with no funding. These are mostly STEM positions.

My stipend is not all that much, and more than 50% goes to rent and utilities. I figured out that I could live in a nicer apartment if I have a roommate. But that comes with it's own issues. On the other hand it allows me to split utilities which gives me a bit extra for groceries and spending money. Figure out the rental opportunities in the area. If cheap enough I would choose to live alone. If not, a room mate helps pay the bills. Then I always cook almost every meal for myself. I spend a fair amount of time one weekend day to get most of my dinners cooked, pack lunches and line them up in the fridge, make sure I have healthy choices that are easy to grab for breakfast. My social life tends to revolve around game nights with friends at one of our apartments, usually each person brings a snack. A real splurge is to go bowling or out for cheap bbq. When the weather is nice we might meet up for a bonfire on the beach.

I also think it depends on what your degree plan timeline looks like. Some semesters for me have 3 ball busting classes. Others have only 1 bad one with 2 not so bad ones. I've also learned to say "no" to bunches of stuff. Our department hosts a guest speaker every Friday. There is a presentation at the auditorium and then a social afterwards, usually a local bbq & beer joint. I pick and choose which ones to attend as they are not mandatory but a good way to meet people. If the presentation is something I have no interest in and will not promote me towards my goals, then I skip it. Lastly, everyone works differently. I really like to sit on my bed with my work spread out around me, dog snuggled up against my feet. But that might be distracting for some. I have a friend who stays at the library til the wee hours because he works best as long as he is not home. He gets distracted by music, video games, friends coming over. On the other hand, I am easily distracted with people watching, so the library doesn't work for me. Figure out your best style and use it to your advantage.

They don't actually choose the roommate, I do. My original studio apartment in a different (much older, not as nice) complex was converted into condos and I only had 30 days to get out and find something else. I found this roommate on CL. My current roommate had her parents pay the $875 for the ex-roommate to break the lease, just to get her out. That one also lost her deposit. I suspect my roommate's parents have bought out more than one roommate since she has had a different one every semester she's lived here. In all honesty I find people who live here to be very immature. I believe most of them haven't had much life experience outside their own very small towns. Most UGs here are smart enough and they are getting state scholarships to prevent brain drain, but they have never seen the world. So the latest today is that she knocked on my door, told me she doesn't like what I say about her to my parents or friends when I skype. I Usually have my headphones on and I'm not shouting so she must be eavesdropping. I just let her rant about it. When she stopped I just closed my door without saying anything. Then she left chocolate covered strawberries for me in the kitchen with a note saying that she remembered I said I liked them so they were there for me. Not on a bet would I eat those!!! I certainly wouldn't choose to live this way. But I really like the complex location and amenities. I save tons of $$$ by taking the free shuttle that stops 5 minutes from my door. Unlike my former apartment, this complex has all the nice stuff like pools, gym, free movie rentals. The neighbors are nice and my dog is welcome here, including into the office. My goal is to stay in this complex as a model citizen. So I don't want to rock any boats. If I can't find another roommate by the summer I will sign for a studio here. I have to admit though, I found that living alone was not mentally healthy for me. Even this situation is probably better than alone, even if it's just about the nice neighbors I see daily, other tenants out walking their dogs, and visiting with the office staff when I go in daily to pick up my mail. I just find it very odd that an adult would act like this. She's not ignorant, her family is well-traveled military. I had no problem with her personal/environmental cleanliness (or lack of, did I mention that she doesn't shower?) and that she didn't have the same financial values that I have. But when she went into my room and accessed my computer she crossed a line that causes me never to trust her ever again.

I completely understand. I moved in June before my first year started and decided by July that I would be finishing only a masters. It significantly lowered my stipend but that's about all. My PI was very understanding and confided that he was not accepting any more grad students, I was the last one, because he wanted to retire. Now he gets to retire 3 years sooner and it honestly made him smile. So you just never know. I am also in a small town place in a Gulf Coast state. Your story sounds so much like mine. I'm also from the West, extended family in Midwest, very strong work ethic. This town has almost no cultural stuff like museums. I cannot have a social conversation with most around here because their views are so different than mine. It is purely a tourist haven and military town. The DUI rate in this county is the highest per capita in the state. Every day the news shows another DUI rollover, fatal, head on, drove a pickup into the river... I've discovered that most of the grad students here graduated UG from here so they are getting some scholarship money to stay in this state. There are much more rigorous programs in the state, but not for my major. So I will finish a masters and then decide if I really want the PhD.

Thank you. I came to the same conclusion about tenant rights. The office manager told me that she understands (I am the 5th roommate this tenant has had in 2-1/2 years) and has put me on the short list for a different apartment as soon as my lease is up. My preference is a smaller 2/2 with another grad student. But they also have studios. The trade off is living alone or being able to split things like the internet bill. Also the 2/2 have washer/dryer hookups and since moving in here I really like that convenience. I can pick up some used ones pretty cheap here since the ones we have now belong to my roommate. So, I'm ok with the treatment I'm getting from the landlord. My goal at this point is to stay on good terms because the location is the most convenient to the university shuttle route, has some nice outdoor spaces for my small dog, and the apartments are newer/nicer than most in town. The office manager is very willing to use my current security deposit for a different apartment when the time comes. The lock and the silent treatment have been working like a dream. At this point, she is either sleeping (which she does a lot of, more than 12 hours per day) or out of the apartment. I've only seen her in passing in the kitchen in the morning (remaining civil "hi, how's your day") or notice that she is in her room when I return from work. I just can't stomach the idea of ever having conversation with her again. She violated my trust and I don't think I could ever trust her again. It's obvious to her that there's a lock on the door now. And I think that may have shook her a little...she offered to share the care package and bought me a small gift (see above) and said she wanted me to sign with her again in June. NOT! Except for the part that I come from a warm and loving household and it is difficult for me to live with someone who I can't even trust, I believe it is do-able until the lease is up. Training her dog only raises problems for us. Since I have a lot of experience with dogs I have always offered to walk her dog whenever I take mine. Since a flea infestation caused her to have her dog shaved, she claims that it's just too cold for the dog to go outside, even though it rarely gets below freezing here. So we're stuck with the potty pads at this point that the dog is mostly reliable about using right now. That just means I can't (not that I would at this point) leave my dog loose in the apartment because then my dog will want to potty indoors too. My only concern is that we do have carpeting upstairs and her dog likes to be in her bedroom. Since she could sleep through an apocalypse she wouldn't notice if the dog was even in the room. I'm hoping that she decides to keep this unit when I move out (she's been in ths unit for 2-1/2 years), in which case the apartment manager said they would only be concerned about my room and the common areas upon check out to refund my deposit. The common areas downstairs are all laminate floors and I mop every weekend. I really don't know what more I can do at this point. I'm sure many on the forum have had worse roommate situations. One of my cohorts suggested that I bring some local crawlies from the lab home in a jar, tell her I'm doing observations, turn the bugs loose outside after a few days, and when she notices say something like "jeez, they must be around here somewhere!" I did get a little chuckle from that as most bio majors would! I appreciate all of the moral support on this forum. Sometimes this grad life is just lonely and depressing. The resources around here are fantastic! Thank you all!

As a marine bio major I have found my grad program to be much less difficult academically than I expected. My major seems to be pretty laid back and my project is the only one in the deparment that is on track timewise. But since I don't believe in going into debt for an education I have a timeline worked out with my PI to get me out of here on time, with no extra semesters needed. The biggest change for me is living 2000 miles from home, three days each way to go home for the holidays, could only stay for 10 days since I was depending on cohorts to keep my animals alive, having a roommate, making friends in a new city. Housing has really been my biggest adjustment and I don't think you can prepare for it. I did all of my apartment hunting via the internet after I had visited the area the previous summer. Studios and 1-bedrooms were/are few and far between. The campus I am attending only has enough dorm space for about 15% of the undergrads so there is fierce competition for the better places to live in good neighborhoods, along with higher paid oil/refinery workers and multiple military bases in the area. After losing my studio after 3 months to a condo conversion I am now living in a 2/2 townhouse with an undergrad. I really don't recommend it but you have to follow the money. And although cohorts are a nice group, I am significantly younger than most of mine. They have SOs, some have purchased their own homes, most SOs have jobs that allow my cohorts to live a less frugal lifestyle than me. The singles like me seem to be bent on sowing last of their wild oats. There are some pretty wild parties. So I signed up to volunteer on Saturdays at a local museum, spend free time taking my dog to the beach, and keeping my project on time. In the end, if you are accepted to a program, the academics should not be beyond your ability. Your academics should feel comfortable. More important is time management skills, ability to work without supervision, self motivation when everyone around you is not sometimes, willing to take on the hard work in the department. But I find the living and social issues to be more challenging than the academics.

There are plenty of positions out there, but the applicant pool in my department is huge this year. Lat year there was a lack of funding due to the sequester and schools took far fewer students than they had in the past. So I think a lot of applicants were offered unfunded positions and decided to wait and reapply. I was accepted last year to every school I applied to (all in the West) and only one was funded. I felt lucky that even one was funded. I accepted at the funded program since I do not believe grad school is worth going in debt for. Now that I am in the program I find that students in the schools with unfunded positions are lacking in projects and resources. My obsevation has been that if they cannot afford to fund your stipend then they will be sorely lacking for lab equipment, supplies, travel expenses, etc. Just my $0.02.

Ok, I get that I have rights but I think Texas has fewer rights than most other states. I am at Texas A&M in Corpus Christi. According to Texas Tenant Website http://texastenant.org/index.html "Even the Texas Apartment Association (TAA) says you should choose your roommates carefully: "If your roommate moves out early or cannot pay the rent, you'll be responsible for the entire amount, unless you've rented on a 'per-bedroom' basis." If you'll be sharing the rent with a roommate, make sure you both understand your responsibilities. If you both sign the lease, each of you will be responsible for the full amount of the rent if the other does not pay. If you need to find another roommate to help with expenses, your new roommate will need to be approved by the property owner, and you may need to sign a new lease or a lease addendum." Also, if you and your roommate have a disagreement, your landlord probably cannot and will not lockout, evict, or remove your roommate for you. Police would typically consider such a dispute a "civil matter" and not get involved. A tenant can request that the landlord change the locks at the tenant's expense; however, the landlord will have to give the new key to any other tenant on the lease. If you have problems with a roommate, negotiate as much as possible and put any deals you reach in writing. If you move out with your name still on the lease the landlord may put something harmful on your credit. You also may be liable for damages that occur in the unit. See if the landlord will let you out of the lease before you leave. You also might try to find another roommate to take your place, but make sure your old roommate and the landlord consent and take your name off the lease. It may be a waste of your time to bring your roommate issue before your landlord because the landlord has nothing to gain by getting involved. You could try to find another roommate to replace the one that is a problem, but again, you are going to need consent from everyone involved. These are difficult situations to fix easily. Clearly the best plan is to be very up front in the beginning and be as sure as possible that you and your roommate will be compatible living partners. What happens to the deposit when you move out? Unless it is specifically spelled out in the lease differently, any money that is returned is owned jointly by all the tenants. Any other situation would likely have to be worked out between you and your roommate." According to the office when they confronted her about her dog, she is now in the process of adding the dog to her lease. She did not make any direct threats, just name-calling and accusations. So this happened on Monday night, I installed the keyed lock on Tuesday while she was out all day and all night that night, she arrived home before I left for my office on Wed morning, I locked my door (she didn't see me do it) before leaving and left my dog crated in my room. Same thing on Thursday, today. I then received a text from her around 10AM that my dog was barking today. We have an agreement to notify the other if either dog could be causing a disturbance especailly to our neighbors. Normally, I would tell someone to go in my room and let the dog out of the crate. But she probably figured out the lock thing before she texted me. So I responded that I was in class and would try to figure out something different for Friday. She responded an hour later that my dog had settled down and she was leaving for class. Tonight when I arrived home she said my dog had been fine the rest of the day, her mom had sent a care package and would I like some snacks (no thanks), and she bought me a small gift of a facial cooling mask that I had admired one time when we were Christmas shopping for our families last month. She apologized for her behavior and calling me names. I told her that I accepted her apology but that it does not change how I feel. She went so far as to say that I have been a good roommate and she would like to sign the lease together again in July. I told her I would consider it but that she should not get her hopes up. Honestly, I have no intention of continuing this behavior into the next school year. Since putting the lock on my door I have not used the common spaces other than to cook in the kitchen and run laundry. I have my own tv, microwave, mini-fridge in my room so I have stayed in there working with my door closed. I just have no use for someone so immature. I can't stand the sight of her right now and best that I just keep to myself until my feelings calm down. The hot/cold personality seems in line for some other observations from the last few months. Her parents have separated several times in the last few years, once already since I've been here just since November. Then it blows over, they move back in together and everything is forgotten. My roommate has broken up with her bf almost weekly, creating drama that I soon learned to ignore. Last week they had yet another blow up but this time when she tried to kiss and make up he threw her out of his apartment, where she spends most of her time even spending the night there 60% of the time. She has not seen him since and has very few other friends in town. So her relationship with me seems to be moving along the same lines. She may be able to recover quickly from these horrendous outbursts but I am frankly, still reeling from this days later. I was not raised to act like that to anyone, ever. I take full responsibilities for my actions, act like the adult that I am, and try to avoid drama at all costs. I also take medication for an anxiety disorder so I am careful about keeping my life simplified to avoid unnecessary stress. I do not believe that the apartment complex is going to let me out of the lease at this point. There were no witnesses to the outburst and she did not make any direct threats. Her only real indiscretion was entering my room without permission (and she said she was drunk at the time) and using my computer. However for me that is the true deal breaker. Had she gotten into my laptop with all of my data for my thesis project and mucked around in there we would be talking about evicting her. In the end, I don't see that there's too much I can do. My cohorts are being extremely helpful by spreading the word for anyone looking for a roommate and there have already been a couple of people interested. I want to have a home that is peaceful and my place to relax without drama. Have a couple of beers but don't come home blotto. I don't care what kind of recreational stuff you do at someone else's place but sleep it off before you come home. Once she came home totally stoned, was violently ill the next day, ER doc diagnosed her with a concussion that she doesn't know how it happened (how high is that?). So, I'm hoping that a closed door will make a civil living arrangement until the lease ends and that I can find someone who shares my values in the meanwhile. But I'm still here listening to any ideas you guys might have!

Thanks everyone. The lock is now installed on my door and I felt better today about leaving my dog, my camera, iPod, tablet, etc behind locked doors. The apartment office has strict instructions never to give her the key, ever. I told them if she fears I am dead in my bed they should have someone escort her with the key. The office completely understands the situation. However, when they confronted her about her dog not being on the lease, her parents immediately sent funds for the pet deposit. So now her dog is legal. not housebroken, but legal. The office staff said they would do whatever they could to make the rest of my lease period at least livable. And they have offered to transfer my deposits to a different apartment when the lease on this one is up. They told me it has been a revolving door of roommates in the apartment, told me I was the 3rd one in the last 12 months. And luckily the complex handyman lives next door to us so he has been really great about keeping an eye on things, reporting oddities to the office (I'm also worried about my car sitting in the parking lot. My parents bought me something nice as a graduation gift and if there is any damage I will be really mad. I will be posting monthly on the graduate student website on campus. Hopefully that's where incoming grad students will look. As it gets closer I will also post on CL. I feel slightly Sheldon-esque in that I now have a list of interview questions for potential roommates as well as a solid roommate agreement that I will implement from Day 1, instead of being reactive when problems appear. Moving out to the cheaper area an hour away is not an option. This state survives on everyone having a car. There is very little public transportation and I can't afford the gas for my car and the $350/year to park on campus. Right now I catch a free bus to campus right outside my door. Living in one room is not optimal. But I do use the kitchen and laundry room when she is not home. I also have microwave, hotplate, mini fridge, blender in my room so I'm pretty well set up in my room. The campus is way too small to have a law school. But I will find out some pro bono services . I have some senior neighbors who go to the senior center regularly and they have been helpful with resources in the past since these same services are often brought to the seniors for their convenience.

Thank you. Think rural Gulf Coast. The whole area is a tourist trap for snowbirds in the winter and in the Top 5 (I'm guessing) for Spring Break. Apartments make more money by renting out weekly to tourists than they do keeping monthly tenants. Add to that transient oil field workers and 5 military bases. It's a set up for high rents and odd roommates. Many of the UGs here come from families with tons of expendable incomes. An hour away from here is dirt cheap to live and they are still making big incomes in the oil industry and military. I have kept both written and picture documentation. I've always tried to stay out of her drama. It's been fairly easy to nod and keep walking when she tries to tell me about failing classes, weekly bf breakups, her parents' problems, drinking... But it's difficult for me to live with someone and not talk to them. My family is small and close-knit. If it wasn't for my parents I think I would have lost it by now. This whole grad school experience has not been so much about education as it has been about life experience. It started with a post-doc sabotaging my work and now my living situation has been a mess since November. I just want less drama and more education. I suspect I'm not as prepared to handle this as I thought I was. I just turned 22, finsished my UG on the fast track one year early. I was homeschooled before my UG and tend to be self-motivated to get things done without a lot of handholding. Maybe I should have postponed grad school for a year or two. My PI is fantastic and my workload is very reasonable, in my perspective. However my PI is constantly lighting a fire under the rest of the department to process work faster. My project is the only one on schedule. On the other hand, it is my goal to get in and out of here in two years with a Masters. I would love to have the resources to move out. But it would kill me to ask my parents for the money and I can't raid my savings at this point so early in the game. Now if I could just have a little peace and quiet at home.

The university doesn't have any resources for off-campus housing. They don't even own the few dorms on campus. When my original apartment converted to condos I found this roommate on CL. There is no university newspaper, website to post on, or even a city newspaper. CL is about all there is. The lock goes on tomorrow night. I inquired at the office about her dog last week when I returned from Winter Break and found she had brought the dog here when she returned. She took the dog home at Thanksgiving. I had only been living there a few weeks but it was clear there was a problem with the dog back then. Her parents promised to crate train the dog, which theydid. But it has taken just two short weeks to revert. The poor dog has fleas so bad it's skin is flaking off from scratching. I even contacted animal control and they won't take a surrender because everything is so full here and no one speuters dogs or cats. I have to pick up my dog several times on every walk to avoid the feral dogs in the parks. The office told me that they had noticed the other dog just before I returned. Since I take my dog into the office when paying rent they know (and love!) my dog. The manager said they intended to confront the situation and I asked them to leave me completely out of it, which they agreed to. I guess tomorrow I'll ask if any progress has been made.

I think it was the "come to Jesus" talk I had with her today that broke the camel's back. I am on the lease, just like she is, we are equal tenants. She pays $30 more per month because she has the master bd. The office told me they have seen her room mates come and go over the last few years as no one ever renews with her. Her parents bought the furniture, w/d, etc. So likely I will be the one moving out. I'm ok with that, just worried about the next few months. Jeez, we just started the new semester this week and I don't need the stress. My parents have already suggested a locking handset on the door and I have a friend who offered to help with the installation. The apartment office has asked for a key in case of emergencies. I'm ok with that. I'm not sure what tenant rights you are referring to. I know that I am entitled to 1/2 of the apartment, etc. But since I read over the lease last night, I'm not sure what rights I have. It just basically states the length of the lease, costs, utility arrangement, cost to break the lease. Her parents...they are as fractured as she is. From the way she handles her academic life, personal life, and arguments with me it's clear that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I know they bought out the last roommate just to get her out. But, from what I found out from the apartment office...I would probably do the same to get a cocaine addict out. I think her parents are more adult than she is but that's about all. They have broken my confidence on everything I have told them in the past. Although they are concerned that she is living the high life (in more ways than one!) they don't seem to be taking any responsibility in the matter. I might re-visit the roommate agreement with expectations for the next four months. Although she hated the current agreement that she ripped it up, threw it in my face, told me it was worthless after the meeting today. So I'm not sure how far a new agreement would go since she likely will not sign it. The worst part of the whole thing is that the university only has on-campus housing for ~15% of the students so the housing market is really tight for apartments. There are no resources on-campus to post for a roommate, etc. So I've let my department folks know and posted on my department FB page. It's a pretty small town but the rents are huge so no one lives alone unless parents are picking up the tab. There is a lot of old money around town with some of these kids. All of my cohorts are PhD students so their stipends are a bit more. And they all have SOs who work so they can easily afford the rents.

So I moved 2000 miles from home for this opportunity. I have a reasonable stipend but the cost of living here is pretty high for a small town. So I'm pretty much locked into having a roommate. I had a rare studio apartment from June until November. But the complex turned into condos, so now I'm in a nicer complex but with a roommate in a 2/2 unit. I didn't have a lot of choices in the 30 days I had to find something. She's an undergrad, 21 years old, different dept/major than mine. She has a dog that is not housetrained, but thankfully the downstairs has hard floors. My dog is housetrained but I now have to keep her crated all day since she started to slip with housetraining because of the messes the other dog creates. The roommate has broken up with her SO more times than I can count since I've been here, is bad about paying the bills (but they are all in her name so... I get online and pay my half), throws out my food after 2 days "because it's been in there too long" even though I've asked her to leave my shelf alone, she admitted that she went into my room and looked at my FB on my computer "because you left it there", had to get her to sign a roommate agreement to fix the cleaning issue, etc. I gave her parents a copy of the agreement the last time they were here because they are guarantors on her lease. They also pay for everything and she has their credit card for daily living expenses. I tried to impress on all of them that I live on a small stipend and need to be frugal. The apartment office says her dog is not on the lease and she did not pay a pet deposit. My dog is completely legal on the lease. The apartment office staff knows which dog is mine, I have a good relationship with the staff, and they understand the situation I'm currently in as I am the 5th roommate to live with her in this apartment in 2-1/2 years, basically a new roommate every semester. They have offered me a different apartment and to transfer my deposits as soon as my lease is up on June 1. Now she started yelling at me today and it's obvious that she is not going to sign the lease with me again in June. In the meanwhile, I have to live here because I can't afford to break the lease, nor do I want that on my record. It's hard as it is to get an apartment here, I can't have that on my credit record. Not to mention that it is $900 to break the lease and I would lose my $750 deposit. I have to leave my dog in the apartment each day when I'm gone. I can take all of my electronics with me to the office or lock them in my car. I've already moved all of my documents, papers, file box into my locked vehicle. But I'm sick about the thought that she could open the front door and let my dog out while I'm gone. Not to mention that the next four months could be a living he** with someone who has the potential to make my life miserable. There are people I know in my department, but most of them are married, older, living with SOs. I really don't have much of a social outlet. I took my dog over to a friend from the department tonight to stay for now. He also has a dog and understands how I feel. But this can only be a temporary situation for a few days. Suggestions? I'm feeling ill just thinking about the next four months.