ashiepoo72

Yeah, let that "2" go...besides, another person may find them more attractive than you do, so it's better if they aren't stuck with someone who isn't into them. I don't think it's fair to either person if one isn't feeling it attraction-wise (or otherwise). Another consideration: some people don't care for the physical aspect of relationships so maybe physical attractiveness isn't a priority. I have an asexual friend who says they want companionship, not sexytimes, so they don't care how their partner looks. Just a thought.

Physical attraction is often the first thing that draws me to someone else. I've also grown more or less physically attracted to people over time. I've dated people who were not traditionally attractive and ended up crazy attracted to them and dated people who were drop dead gorgeous who became ugly to me (yes, physically) because of their personality or other f-ed up stuff that happened. I've also been immediately and extremely attracted to people that others might not view as attractive. Physical attraction is such a weird, fluid thing. I'm saying it's important, but it's not something we can easily define.

I think attraction is extremely important between partners. However, I think my 1-10 scale of attractiveness would be different from yours, which would be different from someone else's and on and on. We have different standards of physical beauty, for one, as well as different factors that add to or subtract from a potential partner's attractiveness that go beyond physical. For example, I get extremely turned off by people who are constantly taking selfies and putting them on snapchat (generally social media obsessed people who don't exist in the real world) but find intellectually-engaged but inappropriately funny people very attractive. Yes, there are physical characteristics that I tend to gravitate towards, but those only get me so far. Other people may value other aspects differently than I do, or you do. Bottom line, attraction--however it is determined and felt--is quite important. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be with anyone that turns me off so much I can't have them in my personal space.

Yeah that's rough. I'm really impressed by people who are able to coordinate a huge change like this when they have a partner to consider. I'm lucky it's just me and my daughter. She thinks it's a democracy, but I'm really the dictator of this relationship haha

I woke up today with a strong sense that one of my programs is the right choice. I'm still going to a few more visits and talking to a few more POIs, but I'm pretty certain of what my choice will be. I wish all the rest of you luck in the programs you've chosen or with your impending choice!

I've been to the Azores a dozen times (usually 2-3 months at a time) and mainland Portugal once. I'm dying to visit Egypt, Angola, Vietnam, El Salvador, Brazil and Russia. Luckily my research touches on a few of these places!

It's crazy difficult to decide when you have great offers and are being courted by programs! Totally get it. You'll make the right choice when the time comes. Have you made any pros and cons lists? That might help you gain some perspective. I'm about to tell a potential adviser whom I totally adore that I can't accept the program's offer. I know it's part of the process, but it makes me want to cry.

I upvoted it for you! Kind of figured it was an accidental downvote. I've done that a few times, too

Congrats elinen!!

This is my experience, so take it with a grain of salt. If your qualitative factors are stellar (writing sample, SOP, LOR) and your quantitative factors are in the acceptable range (preferably higher than average, but I don't think my GPA and GRE were so amazing they were the deciding factors), you should be fine. Will you get in? No one here can tell you that. I urge you to focus more on the things you can control--that also happen to be most important: writing sample and SOP.

It's all good, I've gotten a wealth of riches this season and, honestly, I'm flattered that an awesome program like OSU even wait listed me! It's just nice to have all the results in hand.

I would email. At this point they should have decisions, and it feels much better to know what's going on than to be in the dark about it.

Welp, I was wait listed at OSU because of funding. I'm glad to know where I stand, now I can wrap this season up and move on.

I'm blown away right now. It was about a year ago that I started researching programs in earnest and also began my obsessive relationship with gradcafe it actually helped me so much in writing my SOP and approaching applications, so I'm really glad my friend told me about this site (with the caveat that I would hate him for it!) I'm so close to the end I can taste it! I vacillate between programs because all of them have wonderful departments and my advisers are all amazing. It's going to be a tough decision. I should know after I visit Minnesota. Until then, I'll be biting my nails and making pros and cons lists. I hope all of you are nearing the end and happy with your options can't wait to hear where everyone ends up!

You definitely want at least one academic reference, but most programs straight up say they won't weigh non-academic letters as highly. I used a professional reference when I applied to my MA program, but for PhDs I'd caution you to have at least two of the three letters be from academics. I had three professors from my MA write recs for PhD applications. I'm more concerned about why professors don't want to write you recs. Is this a matter of being out of school for awhile and losing touch? Because you should try to reestablish relationships, maybe show them some of the work you did in their classes or work you've done since, spend a good deal of time talking to them about your plans and what you've been up to. If this is because you didn't do well in your undergrad classes, you should consider taking an open university or grad course at your local university, even auditing one, and try to build a good rapport with the professor so they can write you a rec. I don't think a TA is the right choice for a LOR. What you maybe could do is ask your TA to meet with you and the professor he or she TAed for and vouch for your performance in the class.

Ugh I think I have senioritis. I've spent 2 days reading utter fluff and catching up on magazines when I have a pile of work to do.

I'm just starting to research moving costs now, but I've used thumbtack.com to get quotes before and had good experiences. You submit your request for whatever you want (I initially used it for my would-be wedding, but you can enter pretty much any request), and competitors vie for your business so it drives the quotes down. I just submitted one for a long-distance mover so I don't know if it'll be successful, but it's a nice website because it'll search your particular area for vendors--even if it doesn't work out for me, it could for you.

That's great news, Chiqui! Surprise money is, like, one of the best things ever haha I think if one of my top choices offered me guaranteed summer funding, I'd jump on their offer. I won't bring it up until I've visited all the programs I want to visit and have the list narrowed down a bit more, but I plan on mentioning it for sure. No harm in asking!

One of my programs offered me a super sweet first-year fellowship with no teaching obligations. I seriously have no clue how I'm going to decide! I spent some time talking to one of my profs, and she said it sounds like it'll come down to adviser--which is gratifying in that I approached this process applying to specific advisers and not specific schools. I'm hoping that after I visit Minn in about two weeks, I'll be applying for an apartment in the city where my future PhD program is located... How are y'all doing??

PeakPerformance--considering your conflict of interest as one such paid writing service, I hope the OP takes your advice with a grain of salt. Most--I'd say almost, if not ALL--programs WANT you to get outside help--from professors, classmates, family and friends. Even a writing tutor on campus is a good idea. The key point is that all these resources are free and therefore have no monetary investment in your success. If I was you, I wouldn't jeapordize your entire application by using a paid writing service.

It was great to meet you, too

Congrats!!!! That's awesome!

OSU either wait listed me or is like one of those people that stops talking to their significant other instead of actually breaking it off haha My status is STILL pending!

Don't use a writing service. The last thing you or a program need is for you to get accepted based on work that is not your own. It'll be apparent quite quickly that you are not prepared, and that'll waste your and the program's time. Statements are things that need to marinate over time. Some people can write them in short periods, but most people need to--and should--spend the time to write and rewrite multiple drafts, thoughtfully edit, get feedback and polish statements.

LeventeL--if you're an Americanist who won't be using languages in your research, your language is sort of a hoop you need to jump through, so Hungarian is totally an option. Useful languages are always better than not useful, though. How early are you looking? And are you trying to do a transnational approach? Portuguese would be useful in that regard. You could also look at American indigenous languages, since there was a good amount of interaction between slaves and Native Americans in certain parts of the US. I have no idea how difficult those would be to learn, though. Spanish could also be useful. Josh--Spanish is probably most logical for you. It's probably better if you can mention in the SOP that the language is a potential tool for your research. Are there other non-English speaking populations you think may come up in your research?