Cheshire_Cat

My car broke down last week, to the tune of $900, and half a day of work off. Today, I bit into some chewing gum and my tooth broke off. Now I have to go to the dentist tomorrow. Last week I had a deadline. This week I have another deadline. I have to tell my boss that I have to come into work late tomorrow... This stuff never happens to me... what the heck is going on? Hopefully all this will be taken care of before I start school in the fall. At least no one ran into my apartment with their car. That is the worst.

Work... if you are going to kick me off a project and make a big deal about taking me and a coworker off of it, and him getting fired even, then don't make me complete my work just because I'm still at the company. Get someone who knows what they are doing. I want a clean break. I'm happy doing other projects. I'm frustrated and annoyed working on that one. Also, when you push me, I push back. That is just how it is. Stop it before I tell you to go screw yourself. If you haven't gotten the reviews done so that I know what I'm doing, why should I do more? It's a big rush that will leave us nowhere. Also, my favorite guy is leaving for a summer internship in a month. He makes me laugh. I don't want him to go anywhere, I need someone to make me laugh. And I feel conflicted because I adore him and being around him, but I also want to not be around him and not talk to him because we dated and it didn't work out, and even though I agree us being together just didn't work well, a part of me still wants him, thus I want him to leave me alone. Complicated? I'm a girl, obviously it is.

Yup. Or get Evernote. If you take them in Evernote then you can search by keywords.

The good news, is that I will be paid almost $60 an hour for my "job" as a GA. The bad news is that the GA position is only 10 hours a week, and my real job of studying and researching on my own will be full time and unpaid.

Haha! You could be right, but I think there is a difference between not liking something personally, and judging people for liking it. So, I could say that I don't like cherry soda, and that would be ok. But saying that everyone who likes cherry soda is weird and has no taste in beverages would be insulting and judgmental.

That sucks. My worklife imploded in February, and sometimes I find myself just staring at my computer screen too. It is ok to just be afraid sometimes. I know there have been times in my life when everyone tells me it will be ok, and I know logically it will, but that isn't how I was feeling right then, and I just needed someone to tell me that what I was feeling was ok.

-Beards -Hating on guys in skinny jeans and brightly colored mens clothing. I mean, I know it isn't for everyone, but just because a guy wears bright, pastel colored clothing does not make him gay, or weird. And neither do skinny jeans. Men in well done pastels or a goofy accessory like a pink polka-dotted bowtie or socks make me smile. (obviously, too many of these at once is overwhelming, but one just shows character) -Hating on feminine looking or well dressed men. -The great divide between feminine men and duck dynasty men. Is it ok to be normal anymore? Also, can we stop judging people by their fashion choices? It seems tribal to me.

I am not attracted to someone unless I feel an emotional bond with them. I can acknowledge that some are better looking than others, but that is completely different than being attracted to them. That being said, I do have some features that I think are better looking than others. But you could have all those features, and unless I liked your personality, I wouldn't be attracted to you. My first thought upon seeing the last guy I dated for the first time was "Man, that is one awkward looking guy. Friendzone!" He was tiny(and I'm kind of large/tall), had long hair, but was balding at the same time, neck was too long, wore clothing two sizes too big for him, and had a spotty beard and acne scars. But then his personality won me over. And then I saw beautiful big brown eyes, kissable lips and neck, a mischievous smile that just the hint of it would make me grin, and I found his compact body very sexy. (Also, he was incredibly brilliant, funny, and kind, and those are the things that first make me take a second look and un-friendzone him.) So yeah, things change. But I've always liked big brown eyes, (and smaller guys, even though I didn't admit it until him) so there was that start there, but there were also other things that kept me from noticing the things I found attractive until I got to know his personality. Now we are no longer dating, but still in the same friend group and I still can't help but notice his attractive features and I don't see him as awkward looking anymore at all. Unfortunately, I don't think I was comfortable being attracted to him for a while because other people would think it was weird because I'm about 4 inches taller than he, so I think that hurt things. Even though I found him cute, I knew what other people saw, and it wasn't okay with that, and while there were a lot of other reasons the relationship ended, I really wish I had been less concerned about that.

I generally see someone who brags about their grades on Facebook as insecure about their intelligence, or just not as smart as me and genuinely surprised that they are doing so well. (Why no, I don't have a problem with pride- I'd say I'm pretty good at it actually) If someone isn't putting other people down for being less intelligent than them, then it really doesn't matter to me if someone toots their own horn all that much. I get a laugh from it, for sure, but them making good grades does not diminish my intelligence. I just don't have to tell everyone I'm smart. (IRL and on FB I try to follow the proverb that says "Let someone else praise you and not your own lips") But I usually also try to follow that old proverb that says "Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn." I don't want to be the person who says "Quick! Hide your accomplishments! You may make everyone else feel bad!" If someone is happy, I want to be happy with them, and if they are sad, then I want to empathize. OTOH, constant complaining and constant bragging both get annoying, so if they are doing it too much, then that can be a problem.

I lost 30 lbs in my masters... at the beginning I was so stressed I was only eating one meal a day, usually just a sandwich. I'm larger than most people and I needed to loose some weight, so it didn't hurt. But I realized that that was unhealthy, and started to calorie count. This time around I think I'm going to try to maybe do yoga at the rec center. And eat steamed veggies and quinoa for most meals, because it's easy to make, healthy, and cheap.

Depends on your area, job prospects may be good or bad with a Ph.D. I think obtaining a better job can be *a* reason for going for your Ph.D, but it can't be *the* reason. You have to have more than that to drive you to succeed when you are down and all you want to do is quit.

I think I have my shit together, and then I fail at something. It is all a process, and if I did have everything just right I'd be miserable, because there would be nothing to strive for, no new goals to chase.

I mean, I argue both sides. I do think that a college degree is a check in the box, and you are better off with one, if you do it right and don't get into mountains of debt to get there. It isn't the end all, be all, and if you are going to get one, make sure it counts and you do it right. An art degree from SCAD is worth something. An art degree from Nowheresville University... not so much. I have friends with art degrees too, and most of them are working some dead end job, if they have one at all. I know a couple of successful photographers in my home town have degrees in communication, or something like that. My cousin has a degree in English and he is selling paintings left and right, but he didn't go to school for that, he's just innately talented at it. And I have a friend who is 180k in debt for a Psyc degree+ masters and she is working as a nanny. So it doesn't always work out.

It is a tough issue, and something I've had to think about recently. Most people who apply to my field are Asian with very high quant scores, whereas mine are mediocre, but good enough to do well in the field, just not amazing. And I come from a small state school. Plus my only B in undergrad was in math. So, I would like a chance to explain why to adcoms instead of being passed over because those stats aren't wonderful like other's. OTOH, I think adcoms should choose the best candidate... But, I think we do sometimes rely on stats too much instead of taking individuals into consideration. It's like a man going to the doctor for a broken leg, and being treated for lung cancer because he's smoked a pack a day for 20 years and so he is statistically more likely to have a lung cancer than a broken leg... Or, instead of the short person vs. tall person example given earlier, I would say it is more between a person who can't walk, and a person with a mental disorder. We can see one disability, but we can't see the other. It is easier to help the person who can't walk, we see that disability and make changes for it, as we should, but we think the person with the mental disorder should be fine because they look just like everyone else, so we don't help them, even if they actually need it more. Also, with races that are at a disadvantage, the problem is, we think we can fix it up here, when we need to be fixing it down there. If a student can survive the police who are statistically more likely to pull them over, and being labeled a bad child, an all the other crap that is thrown their way, then they can apply and maybe get some help to get into grad school. But what about the other children who can't survive? We aren't fixing the inequality, just changing it at different levels.

As long as you are fine with not making a lot of money with your degree and understand that to be successful you are going to have to work your butt off, then it is fine. But I feel like a lot of people get degrees in art or whatever from a mediocre school, with a 2.5 GPA and 40k in debt, thinking they will come out making good money, just because they have a degree, when that isn't the case. So then, when that doesn't happen, they blame the teachers and the education system rather than themselves for not doing what they needed to do to be successful. When I was in my masters program, I advised freshmen, and some of them should have taken some time off to figure out what they wanted to do before going to college, because they didn't have the grades or motivation to make the grades that they needed and all they were doing was wasting their parents money. But, my grandfather doesn't have a college degree, and he is one of the smartest men I know, and a millionaire. He could have gotten a degree in whatever he wanted and still been monetarily successful, because economics was a game, money was the scorecard, and he wanted to win. Granted, money isn't everything. I would rather make less money and enjoy what I'm doing. But you know, he could have made that art degree worth it if he had wanted to get one.

Good idea. I wonder if I can audit a stats class at the university I will be attending in the fall, just to refresh my memory. How were you able to do that?

I agree. I don't think everyone needs college. And I see people getting degrees that are economically useless, getting into piles of debt, and then not being able to get a job with them. There is nothing wrong with those degrees, but they are for learning and understanding the world around you, not for making a living. It would be better for a young person to obtain some sort of marketable skill and then study whatever they want in their spare time and with a stable income, instead of getting into piles of debt up front for something that will not benefit them financially in the long run.

@ TakeruK- I'll be honest, I really, really hope it is more like you think it is than how my dad paints it. It probably just depends on your POI and your school. Twelve months ago I would have described working at an accounting firm exactly how you describe working with your supervisor. However, then I got put on a different project, and all hell broke loose and now I'm working extra hours, not because I'm behind, but just so that I won't be seen as slacking and get fired before I quit... and this all in the same office. He also thinks I wont have a life outside of school, and I'm really hoping I do. My friend is at a top program in engineering and he still has a life... but he's a lot smarter than I, and in a different field. They may have more spare time. I think that business school is more competitive and less collegial, at least at the lower levels. Probably because business in general are more advisarial. Survival of the economically fittest, and all of that...

I hate Athens, but it is only an hour or so from Atlanta, so if you want to have fun on weekends, you can easily drive to the big city. Cost of living is probably cheaper there too, and UGA is a decent school. You can probably go anywhere from either school. If finances matter a lot, I'd choose UGA.

This is bad, but I go on OKC when I want to be told how pretty I am, because I'll get hundreds of messages saying that. However, I don't want to date any of the guys who do that. Generally they are not my "type" Plus, I'm only attracted to people I have a strong emotional bond with, so it was a futile experience to begin with. Haha. To the OP- Yes, we have biological clocks, but don't get married because you are running out of time to have kids. There are other ways to have kids aside from the biological means. Also, it is better to be single than to be stuck with someone you hate, and if you have kids with that person, it doesn't matter if you get divorced, you are still stuck with them.

But I don't mean that professors are actively trying to thwart you in a mean/adversarial way. They chose you for their program for a reason. However, they are trying to push you harder than you have even been pushed before, and make you think more than you've ever had to do before. In undergrad, all you had to do was what was on the syllabus. You knew exactly where you stood in the class based on what assignments you had completed, and how well. Memorize and understand the material well enough, and you pass. That isn't how the Ph.D is. You aren't just going to get a Ph.D because you go through all the motions. You are going to have to come up with your own ideas and carry them out in a way that passes academic muster. And your POI's job is to make sure your ideas and how you carry them out do that. Sometimes that means pushback so that you won't be blindsided by reviewers. You may differ on an idea on how to carry out your dissertation, but if you can prove that the different methodology is better then you can do it. You have to be able to give a reasonable explanation as to why though, not just “the stars told me so.” However, if he says you aren't spending enough time in the lab, then you probably aren't spending enough time in the lab. You don't just get to choose when enough is enough. There is probably a reason he wants you in the lab longer. This is what my Dad tells me. I'm not there yet. But he studied under one of the top 2 names in his field and has been in academia for over 30 years now. As far as the masters go, that may not be how it is in psychology, but in an MBA/MAcc program... Well, I haven't done research on it, but I'm pretty sure the people who choose to go that route are part piranha. Kind of like law school, from what I've been told. It is totally the hunger games.

It all depends on how you look at it Tenure- If you are able to research well, then you have job security for life. Research- You get paid to think about things and ask and answer questions no one else is answering. It takes work, but so does everything else. If you like to think about your interest and tell others about things you have found, then this can seem very appealing Travel- You get to see the world. Conferences can be fun, and you will see a lot of different cities and talk to a lot of unique people. Public speaking- Not only do you get to think about your interests all day, you also get to talk about them and tell other people about them. Grants- No sugar coating this one. Getting grants sucks. Mentorship and personnel management- You get to be the boss and decide who works with you Letter writing- People look up to you and want you to help them get a job Graduate student mentorship- You have the great privledge of molding and shaping the next generation of researchers. Committe work- it sucks too Teaching- Teaching is good. Even this professor says that. I think most jobs themselves can be good or bad, depending on how you view them. You can see the positives in your worklife, or the negitives, and whichever one you see will grow. The only caveat is that if you have bad mangers even the best job can suck and there is nothing you can do about it.

Working. I suppose I should brush up on my math skills and read some journal articles too. And get more comfortable with the research software we have and Google Scholar. I also installed all the programs that the school supplies for free. Free Word and Excel, endnote, virus protection (Mine ran out the 6th... perfect timing!) ect... I really want to go to the bookstore and get my ID and explore campus during my lunch breaks since I work right there, but that would probably be a little weird...

Do you ever feel like sometimes people use the "Help me make a decision" threads just to brag? "Help! I got into Harvard, Stanford, and Yale, and I don't know what to do. More about me-I have a perfect GPA studying one of the hardest subjects on the planet from a top 10 school and was in the 101st percentile on my GRE. I was also the first author of 10 articles published in top journals in undergrad and I have recieved numerous awards and scholarships from the smart peoples society. Did I mention I was also valedictorian in highschool? Though that hardly matters now... What am I ever going to do? Such a struggle." I mean, I'm happy for people who do well. I like the fact that there are some people smarter than me. My good friend got into a top school for a Ph.D in engineering and I think that is amazing and I'll brag on him all day. But really? If you are smart enough to get into Harvard and Yale, you probably don't need random strangers on the internet telling you which one to go to.

Which university?