Good catch! That should have read guaranteed admission decision rather than guaranteed admission.
sublimePZ I took your advice to contact the school. I went to campus today and spoke with the department. I was told my application is still under review, along with a few other applicants. The committee has been wavering with the last remaining decisions. The individual I spoke with was extremely helpful, prepared notes for the committee and informed me it should be sometime next week. I am by no means a conventional applicant so I found this to be tremendously beneficial.
It seemed effective and, who knows, it may be what sways their decision in my favor. For now though it's back to the very familiar waiting game