quandry1028

No, I am not trolling. I made my decision. Thank everyone who gave genuine input. If you want to know what I decided, pm me.

I think I'm going to step away and think about things. I wish the administrators at A had been more civil. I don't like taking risks like this.

I understand everyone's perspective and I would give the exact same advice, had I not personally experienced the administators at A. It would be difficult of me to commit to B without certainty that badmouthing would not occur. At the same time, I cannot imagine spending the next two years with these people.

I feel angst because I usually keep to all written agreements, and spoken ones too for that matter. If the path was clear, yes, then definitely B is the wisest decision. And the advice is very rational. Unfortunatley, I kind of got into this mess by doing the rational and straightforward thing. Once I got into B, everyone told me to let A know the situation in a polite and open matter. Had I not let A know, I would not have to worry about angry and unstable administrators in order to switch to B. In effect, I feel like I am being punished for being honest and straightforward, and I finding the situation with A patently unfair. The next two weeks are going to be tough . . .

If A was reasonable and professional, yes. The trouble is, they have lied, represented themselves falsely, and have even been aggressive towards me. If this sort of behavior continues, it think "bully" is the right way to put it. Given the way they acted towards me, I cannot be certain that A would not contact B. I wish I could give everyone here a sense of what I experienced at A--especially from one high-ranking individual who was keenly interested in whether I had declined B or not--to explain why I can't safely make the jump. I am shocked by how this is all working out too. In a sane and professional situation, I would have no problems declining A and going to B. But A's behavior does not make me feel safe at all. And given what I know about B, I am certain that B would react negatively.

I wish it were true. I was shocked by school A's anger too. An administrator had the audacity to actually raise his voice while speaking to me about funding. And given how many falsehoods and half-truths have been told to me, I would not put it past one particular administrator to bad mouth me. Feel trapped at this point.

Yeah, I am very fair, and I do everything I can to keep my word. The problem is A might badmouth me to B. The administrators from A know I got into B--they were angry about it, and they haven't been forthright with me so far.

This strikes me as sound thinking. Would I wait a while to tell A? They are very annoyed at me for having gotten into B (sounds like it . . . ). I gave them my word and did everything I can to keep my part of the bargain The fact that they are lying to me and treating me in a negative way makes me hesitant about any interactions with them.

It's a relief to hear these answers. Would there be an issue with A contacting B and badmouthing me? I have tried my utmost to go to A, in good faith. Even while B was rolling out the red carpet and going as far as to extend my deadline (unsolicited). How would I contact A?

Personally, I think it is probably okay. But I am in a similar (even more complicated situation), so I would be interested on what others say.

Okay, I would really appreciate any help with this. I got into my dream school A for a master's program. The school's funding wasn't finalized, so I told them explicitly that funding is the most important to me. The response was, essentially, we will help you with it--very positive and optimistic. I assumed that I would not get into school B. So I took A at their word and committed early. I later get into school B. B is more highly regarded, has more opportunities, peers of a far higher caliber--it's only downside is that it is located at the other side of the country. B also offered me a fellowship that would cover all of my tuition and part of my living costs. I kept communicating with administrators at A. They decided not to award me any fellowships, but they said they would look into alternatives for me. I told them that B offered me a fully funded fellowship. They said it would be difficult to match, but they would try to work on something. Meanwhile, I have been doing a lot of legwork trying to find funding for College A. I've visited administrators, tried looking for jobs (TA-like positions that will waive my tuition). So far the amount of funding I got is essentially $0, and all I have are two possible job leads. I won't know if these jobs will pan out until May or even June. One of them I am not interested in, I would simply work it to pay tuition (gratefully, I might add). I think my odds of landing one of these jobs is 5%-20% approximately. Also, the administration at school A is annoyed with me. They don't like me trying to work, and I get the sense that they just want me to take out loans and sit down. It feels like they haven't been trying, even though they have explicitly promised to take steps for me. I caught them lying to me on occasion. School B was kind enough to extend the deadline to accept their offer. I have not declined their offer yet. First of all, is it possible to decline A and accept B? The financial and career benefit will be huge to go to B. I am also feeling hesitant about A, due to the way the administration has treated me through the whole process. Even my housing at A is not guaranteed. If I do go, and the current funding situation stays the same, I will have to pay close to $40,000, an amount I am not at all comfortable with. The benefit to going to A is the ability to stay close to family, and maybe a significant other depending on her plans. The other issue is that A knows I have a funding offer from B, since I was so forthright with them (and yet they lie to me). Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm finding the situation quite difficult.