mathamathick

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the authors personal views under influence and do not reflect his views when sober. Not exactly the right place for this sort of discussion, I will nevertheless continue with it since it has been in a very positive manner up till now. My first post on this topic was regarding the fallacy of an argument built around god, when not everyone believes in the notion. I have found a larger proportion of atheists amongst philosophers compared to the normal population and was just pointing it out that the person you were trying to convince might reject your argument based on the premise. I am not an atheist because I didn't get in graduate school, or thought that god was preventing a wish of mine. I became an atheist (in spite of a very religious upbringing) because of my experiences and the following rationalization. It was the product of what happened around me combined with my thought process and then choosing (supposedly) the right path (instead of being born into it). I believe you have been particularly fortunate ( and hopefully it keeps that way) in coming back from dark times and have not seen the bitter and nauseating events that many other fellow humans have been a witness to. Many perished/suffered with little hope of reclamation. That cheerfulness in your proclamation that "God is available to anyone who seeks Him" might have been a little subdued had you seen the other side of the argument. Exactly how so much suffering, and so much destruction fits in his/her grand plan is beyond me. I still think however that religion is not necessarily a bad thing. It is scary living in such an enormous world, where our mind is incapable of calculating and grasping every possibility we are facing. It helps to know that somebody is with you, even if you are fooling yourself. Is it even worthwhile to know the truth if a lie leads to a better life? Religion can result in a better society, but if you are educated and intelligent enough (which I presume everyone on grad cafe is ), do you really need to have ethics/morality/humanity crammed into your head with useless stories and fictitious characters? Think about this too: Had you been born in a different family, with different religion (maybe even atheists), would you be still defending your present beliefs? And why is god ( according to you ) directing me to do this? I should be destroyed before this gets posted. Or is it in his/her grand plan of spreading atheism? I am going to get maligned for this. Thank "God" my identity is hidden. I think. Special Thanks: I would not have written this without the gracious support of Mr. Tanqueray.

Religion will certainly serve its purpose if it helps. And I understand people have an alternate opinion about it. But, in my opinion, religion may not be a very convincing argument against ending one's life, especially for a philosophy student. And mostly, I was referring to my personal experience dealing with this situation rather than giving a general assessment of the situation. How would I know what believing in god can do for your psyche? I need to make it clear that I was not attacking religion, but only the argument built around it without knowing if the person involved even believes in god.

Wonder what my status is? Not rejected, not accepted, and haven't yet received a wait list letter either. And I did receive the confirmation letter telling me that my application was complete. Anybody else in similar condition?

Kudos for the intent, but I don't think god is a very convincing argument for a philosophy student. Additionally, I think being an atheist in this situation helps. For an applicant like me who is in the third year of application without acceptance, its nice to know someone is not screwing you over again and again. (And please don't say you are getting screwed because you are an atheist. God fearing/loving people have had to face much worse situations too.)

Hang in there buddy. There is nothing wrong with venting out on a forum, specially if its hard to do in real life. I myself have done it a couple of times. Clinical depression along with migraines can combine for a very stressful period and all you have to do is to realize that it will, in due time, pass. Just follow the routine. Routine can normalize a lot of things for you. Same thing with eating, make a schedule for eating if you don't respond to hunger. I have done it a couple of times (due to side effects too). I force fed myself at particular times of the day irrespective of whether or not I felt hungry. You can certainly try doing that. Also, you can ask your therapist if the normal supplements are ok to take with the medication, and start taking them. Good luck, and remember, this time will pass.

Not developed enough + much inferior bus network + unkempt houses + less places to eat out + economically downtrodden (being on the other side of the I -35) = Ghetto/Trashy in my dictionary Not an ideal place for an international student to come in and settle the first year. That is what I wanted to imply. No snobbery, no racism.

Unless I turn into Ramanujan overnight, it is necessary for me to attend grad school and obtain a PhD. There is no way, in this era, that I can add substantially to Mathematics without rigorous training of doctoral study. And hence my willingness to apply again and again till I get in. I can also second you on the paranoia thing. I frequently dream about universities offering me admission only rescind them later.

I think Bad Lieutenant, The Weather Man, and Lord of War were decent movies. To some extent, even Matchstick Men was OK. Regarding the topic, A Serious Man is a good movie. Another B movie remotely close to academia was Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.

(caution: biased/wishful thinking might be involved) Could it be that schools reject those students who they think might be too good for their program? Do they somehow know that they are our safety schools?

I lived in Austin for 4 years as an undergraduate student and here are my inputs; 1. Buses are free for UT Austin students. I didn't have a car, but found buses pretty useful. A good network with good frequency (in most areas). 2. 17k is more than enough ( depending on your lifestyle though). 3. If you don't have a car, living on Riverside(distant affordable housing) makes no sense. The best bet would be something in the north campus area. West campus is where all the party scene is with all the greek houses etc. Although you can live there, I think it will be tad disturbing to your grad schedule. Keep in mind there are some exotic apartments that get leased out very soon in that area that give you the best of both worlds. Peaceful yet near the undergrad party scene. East is a ghetto and avoid at all costs. I lived 3 years on North Campus ( not much of a party man), and found it satisfying as well as reasonably priced. Feel free to ask any particular questions you might have.

Thank you all for the valuable comments, it definitely brings attention to some aspects I might not have considered. It also helps a lot knowing other people are in the same boat (looking at you, Maybe_Someday). I guess I was just feeling very vulnerable after watching so many people get accepted on the results page, and let myself pour out. But my resolve is strong and I will manage. The thing is, since I have graduated, I have been working in the Corporate Sector as well as working on Mathematics. I can't tell you how much I despise going to work, meddling with the corporate people. So the point about looking elsewhere and finding something to love doesn't apply. Although, it does help me pay my application fees. Meanwhile, I can't pursue an MS because that is not really offered in Pure Mathematics (only offered for Applied Mathematics and Statistics, at least in good schools). It is usually straight to a 5-6 year PhD track after bachelor studies. Fortunately for me, I woke up the right side of the bed this morning and feel upbeat about my chances. Working on applications three years in row has made me a better applicant. And even if I get rejected, I will apply again for the 4th, 5th and the 6th time if need be. But surely with a revised SOP, new Letters of Recommendation, and fresh GRE Subject Scores. And Maybe_Someday, I understand you too, and all I can say is: Thanks for the consolation but it appears you need some yourself. For both of us, I guess, the motto should be: Hang in there, and pursue your dream. After all, life is a pursuit, not a culmination of any sort. In one lifetime, what are we to do if not what we want? And never call oneself a failure. What did we fail at? Who is judging us except ourselves ? (well even if people are, who cares about em people.....)

This might be my first post but I have been scouring gradcafe for quite a while. Three years in fact, since I started applying to grad schools. I am a prospective Mathematics PhD student and can't seem to get through. I have had to face no acceptances two years running and my hope for this year seems fading by the minute. The thing I need at this moment is probably a reality check and am not sure if I can handle it. Pure Mathematics is the only thing I like doing and the only thing I am good at (at least in my opinion), but am not sure what my prospects/opportunities are if not accepted to grad school. What do I do? Do I accept that I am a deluded, out of mind applicant, or blame it on the recession (like many more)? Did I just choose very bad time to be mediocre? I guess what I need is some confidence boost or a total upheaval this year. My Stats are GRE - 800Q/600V/4.5AW GRE Subject Score - 780 - 80 percentile GPA 3.7, Math GPA 3.9 Schools applied to last few years: Rutgers, PennState, North Carolina, NC State, UIUC, UMass, Iowa, Northeastern...and the list goes on. The funny thing is, even the schools that I consider safety end up rejecting me. And am probably too rigid to apply to unknown schools. What are your opinions? Should I keep applying and hope for the best? Or hang up my boots and become a copywriter? note: Please don't be rude. I am not sure my currently fragile psyche can handle any more.