geochic

I have three local resources. My mother, who takes my boys on Friday nights most weeks and I have two babysitters (one of which I picked from several young ladies who responded to an ad I ran on craigslist, and another who is a longtime friend of the family and wonderfully reliable) who I can call for special events. I'd recommend getting to know other parents in your area and seeing if they have trustworthy sitters they can recommend. As far as rates go, some folks charge an arm and a leg and some people don't. I offered these two babysitters what I could afford (which is not a lot) and they accepted. There are probably patient and qualified high school aged sitters in the area that will gladly take $7/hr no matter where you live. Congratulations!!!!

Oh my goodness. I'm a mother with two kids, in my early 30s and I go out at least one night a week. Karaoke, dancing, live music, comedy clubs, bowling, house parties, texas hold'em with friends, etc... Grad school, adulthood, and, yes even kids do not = bland. If I didn't do something exciting weekly I'd probably shoot myself. Seriously. Live the way you want to live and if you can't get any of your friends to join you, make new friends. That's what I'm doing and I'm finding more and more new and fun things to spend my time doing, and I've made a ton of new friends recently.

I can't take any time off because of equipment maintenance in my lab. My project is really a 7 day a week project and it's already pushing it that I take the weekends off.

Thank you for all the support everyone! I am a full-time single mom (as in dad is not in the picture at all) but my mother is living in the same city and can pick the children up from school if I'm out in the field or take them overnight if I want a night off, which she does most Fridays. I usually use the time to catch up on work/school/cleaning or salsa dancing or karaoke. Of course, she has her limits and makes it clear when she is not available (mentally or physically- my toddler really wears her out too). I also have two babysitters on-call but my finances are generally so tight that that is a rare luxury. I try to fit in some me time and I try to be reasonable about how "doting" I can be as a mother right now- which is to say I don't plan an arts and crafts evening once a week or have them enrolled in extra-curricular sports or anything like that. Those, by necessity, are also rare indulgences. But I want to spend time with them and still have a little bit of me left over to wrap this up. I know this won't last forever. Hard to see the forest for the trees though, yes? UnlikelyGrad- I seem to recall from previous posts that you are a deep earth geochemist. I'm essentially an environmental aquatic chemist with some geomorph and hydro focus thrown in to the mix but my degree track has been earth sciences through and through so I have a well-rounded geo background. I know that having the MS will make me much more competitive but I worry that I won't be able to handle the rigors of a research or field-based position anyhow. I feel like teaching is maybe more do-able for a single mom. I guess I'll have to get out there and see what I can handle. I think this is just a unique challenge and that my life would be overwhelming to anybody, but most days I feel like I can do this. There are just quite a few days when I think I can't. It's nice to know I can vent here and get some kind words and direction! Thank you!

Ughh! I am totally overwhelmed. My youngest son turned two in February and it's been more and more of a challenge ever since. Between his constant movement and the unending demand of a high energy low fear toddler and my mouthy 6 year old I barely have time to think let alone do actual work. My project is very field work heavy so a good portion of the summer was spent collecting samples which meant a lot of desperate scrambling to make sure the kids would be covered and like an idiot I moved in June so the most intense part of my field season was also a month in which I maintained two households while transferring one to the other. Then in July, I had a friend (another single mother with her 5 year old) visit for two weeks-mind I rent a 900 sq. ft. 2 br house. Then back out in the field in August and then classes and more field days as well as constant lab work and a total hardware meltdown in which I lost 2 months of data and learned a hard lesson about backing my s**t up. My kids have always been big personalities and expecting them to be quiet and cooperative 100% of the time is completely unreasonable but for crying out loud can't I just get a little? I get no frikkin peace at home, bedtime is a total nightmare despite a consistent and regimented schedule, and when I get to school I'm so burned out I'm totally unproductive. I am not interested in my classes at all, and I have zero motivation to complete my project which renders me quite unproductive there as well. I can sense my advisor losing faith in my abilities, which makes me sad. I feel like I made a terrible mistake pursuing a Masters of Science and might have fared better with my rigorous outside demands pursuing something in secondary Ed. Now I feel backed into a corner and I spend all of my time on the verge of tears constantly. I'm distracted all the time and I'm getting very little sleep because I stay up with the intention of getting work done (and instead watch the entire first season of Louie or something on Netflix). I sought the help of a campus counselor thinking maybe just venting would help but the commitment was really more stress than it was worth (and the sessions were rather uncomfortable anyhow). I am kinda hating life right now. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I guess I'm still into science but in the face of all of this I'm feeling increasingly inept with my academic pursuits and I keep thinking, my god what will I do with this degree- just keep living like this? In a field where I will also buckle under the intellectual demands, leaving me rattled for my kids who will leave me rattled for my job. It makes me feel hopeless and I just want to quit before I completely lose it. On the flipside, my student loan debt rivals a mortgage and I have a year left in my program so part of me feels like it would be really stupid to drop out now. I mean after a really intense undergrad as a single mother and now halfway through my MS just to throw in the towel? But I haven't romanticized waiting tables like this in a long time... Maybe I just need to vent some more but I feel like I'm always venting. If my project weren't time sensitive I'd request some sort of leave for the semester to get my bearings but I really can't do that with my research. I dunno. I mean how much will this Masters of Geology actually benefit me? Is this worth all the stress and the lost time with my family? I guess only I can answer these questions but if anyone can lend some insight any advice is greatly appreciated.

I set mine up as an undergrad and just transferred most of it over to my graduate page. Although for some reason my university has my site password protect which defeats the purpose, yes? So I need to work on that issue ... I really think it should be standard but for some reason it's not as common as I would expect. Having a site that showcased my accomplishments and professional interests really caught the attention of prospective advisors when I was applying to grad programs. I can't see anything but positive coming from putting an academic webpage together as soon as possible.

This university seems to expect quite a bit from their undergrad research and thesis projects. I think if my advisor and I put our heads together we could come up with a nice comprehensive project to offer so I am throwing that out there as well.

Well it's happened...my project has grown into a bigger monster than a single mama can handle and at this point requires me to be here 7 days a week or I'm never getting out of here. I need help! Unfortunately I do not have the funding to pay a lab assistant. I'm currently pursuing an MS so my projected wrap up date is in less than a year and I want to be working on my publication drafts, gainfully employed and celebrating my defense by then! But pursuing these additional proxies could really enhance my work and make for a fantastic comprehensive study of my watershed (I'm in environmental geology/hydrology). I hate to abandon the work because it's just too much to take on... Any funding suggestions out there? I'm also simultaneously working on an exhaustive web search but I know many of you are in the throes and might offer some guidance! Thank you!

I'm a geo major as well! I love the science! I'm wrapping up my first year in pursuit of my Masters. I'm headed out in the field this summer and should be wrapping up by next May. Honestly, I really like my program/project/advisor/academic connections. I'm (mostly) glad I made the decision to do this but I'll be happy when I get through my defense. I have to admit that I'd appreciate some time out of academia which is why I've decided not to pursue PhD advancement just yet (if ever). I'm a single parent of two little ones though so my situation is unique. I would really like to have more time for the kids and less intellectually-taxing daily demands. But if I wasn't a single mama I would be thoroughly loving this and even in my often overwhelming position I really do generally enjoy what I'm doing. So not the most enthusiastic post but not doom-and-gloom either. Good luck with your program! What sorts of geoscience problems are you interested in solving?

I definitely agree that the best method of coping with the anxiety is to just practice over and over again. Grab members of your cohort before presenting and make them listen. Enlist friends to play audience and go over the presentation until you feel completely comfortable with discussing the material. I don't suffer from much public speaking anxiety but I know how much a good run through helps me before I give a talk or lecture. I imagine that several run-throughs would be immensely effective in dealing with pre-presentation jitters.

Thank you for your advice. I definitely plan to talk to the class prof next week.

Earlier this week I took my first exam (one of two, total) in a class I am taking. Since I didn't even complete enough in the time limit to pass, I am 100% certain I failed. I have never failed an exam before and given the relative importance of this this exam score in my overall course grade, it is at this point not unreasonable to assume that I will fail (or at the very most get a D) in this course. I will probably do terrible on the final as well. This class is outside of my major course of study (geology) but because my department is very tiny I was encouraged to look outside of the dept. for a three credit course to round out my full-time class load. I decided on a groundwater modeling class that I assumed would be application of the flow and diffusion modeling programs I may use in my professional career. The class, as it turns out, is a theoretical modeling course with emphasis on the derivation of different analytical and numerical solutions to different problems. It has been illuminating and I actually feel like I'm learning something from it; however, since I have had no advanced calculus or differential equations most of the math (including the notation) is TOTALLY new to me and has been well beyond the capabilities of my skill level coming into the course. So I've been teaching myself the math (or at least trying to get as much as I can in such a short period of time) while taking the class. I spoke with the professor the third week of the class when the equations started covering the board daily and explained that I was not familiar with the many of the operations he was employing, and sent him an additional email explaining that I was worried about failing the course. He replied that he would help me and find a graduate student to work with me. None of this has happened and I didn't want to be obnoxious about it so I've never addressed it. I've also tried to work with my classmates but to be honest they seem to regard me like somebody who doesn't know what's going on and since I have nothing to contribute I'm backing off. In addition, I've actually felt like I was getting the material. If I have the notes I can follow along now for the most part provided I have the time to wrap my head around the concepts. The exams are closed book/notes so the ability to "get" what's in front of me is no help there. Before the exam I rewrote all of my notes 3 times in the hopes that I would absorb the material. I studied for weeks. I am taking another course (in my major course and with my advisor) that is quite demanding as well but I am doing well. I am also working on my research and preparing for my upcoming field season and this requires a good deal of time and attention as well. Oh and I'm a single mama of two children so there's that. I spoke with my advisor about the exam and he didn't say much. I'm not even sure how concerned he is...so my issue then is not a matter of staying in the program. It's what will happen when I need these transcripts later... This class could ruin my academic record. I currently hold a 4.0 and I expect to get A's in my other coursework this semester so my overall GPA won't put me in jeopardy but this F would be a major problem if I decide to apply for another professional degree program or a job that considers academic record. I can't believe that this one class could destroy everything I've worked so hard to achieve! What should I do?

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I've never even had Diff EQ or Calc 3 (so no partial differentials and can I just say YIKES.) I really didn't get a whole lot out of Calc 2 either (I had just had a baby and was writing my undergrad thesis amongst a bazillion other things) so I've needed "for dummies" type books for the groundwater modeling class I'm taking this semester. So far I can recommend a few resources. I'm regularly (furiously) flipping through my copy of Partial Differential Equations for Scientist and Engineers (Stanley Farlow) -Part of the Dover Books on Mathematics Series and bought my copy on the cheap from Amazon. Great for LaPlace transforms and approaches to non-steady state multi-dimensional problems. Also Paul's Online Math Notes is a great resource. (http://tutorial.math.lamar.edu/) This guy has produced a collection of videos that really helped me with some of the concepts from calc 2 (particularly power series). Haven't looked at it in a couple of years. I did a quick search and he appears to have changed his site but I'm sure he's still concise and effective (http://patrickjmt.com/) An oldie but goodie for calc concepts (available as a pdf from google books) is Calculus Made Easy (Silvanus Thompson.) You can download it here (http://books.google.com/books?id=BrhBAAAAYAAJ&dq=calculus%20made%20easy&pg=PP1#v=onepage&q&f=false) Great refresher for me! Good Luck! I have my first groundwater exam next week and I'm praying that I can pass. I did not know that I was signing up for a flow theory class (I thought it would be more model application and contaminant transport modeling.) Thank goodness we're currently discussing finite difference approximations which are a bit easier for me to grasp . Most of the time I want to cry when I leave the class and I'm sure I usually look like a deer in headlights during the lectures. So long point short, you are not alone.

Oh Congratulations!!! A new baby is always exciting! I am a mother of two (almost 6 and almost 2) and I am in the second semester of an MS in geology. I'm considering transitioning to a PhD track next year (but right now that is a big MAYBE.) I make a decent stipend and I am still taking out some finaid but as a single mother I don't have a partner to help me with childcare coverage/cost and full-time daycare is not cheap. I try not to think about my student loan debt That said, I'm doing fine. I had my second child during the second semester of my junior year. He was an infant was while I was finishing my undergrad thesis/classes and TAing three classes a semester. I managed to juggle the financial and family responsibilities and I continue to do so as a grad student. I agree that my boys come first. I don't budge on that. I tend to keep school and the kids separate. That is, I do my work in the office Mon-Fri and my evenings and weekends are at home with my boys. Sometimes bringing it home is unavoidable but I just stay up late and sacrifice some sleep to get the job done. So far this has worked for me and since I almost done with my courseload and moving into exclusively research I don't foresee any change. I will say this, and don't let this scare you...having two children is exponentially more difficult than having just one. I thought my second would be easier since I was a more experienced parent (and truth be told he is the easier child of the two) but I am pulled in two (or more) different directions all the time. One kid is throwing food, the other won't sit down at the table. Toys are everywhere--it can be a zoo. But I try not to sweat the small stuff and keep things in perspective. It is worth all the stress to see your kids interact and grow together!!!! Daily I am struck by the awesome relationship my boys share! You and your wife are a team in this so the transition will likely be easier. State med coverage is definitely worth looking into. My kids qualify and I'm covered through my school insurance. I bet your wife will be covered as well through the pregnancy and postpartum as well.

I am a single mother of two little boys (almost 2 and almost 6.) My situation is not really comparable to anybody else in this thread thus far since I'm the only breadwinner and parental figure in my kids lives. Frankly, I don't know how I'm doing this although I can say that thus far grad school as a single parent has been easier than my undergrad. I am broke all the time though but I'm accustomed to living well below the poverty level so I make due with my fellowship which by comparison is pretty good. My daycare bill is enormous. I spend more than 60% of my stipend annually on daycare so that's an issue. Look into programs and on campus facilities when you start thinking about starting a family. My school offers nothing but I didn't do the background research that in retrospect should have been done. What are ya gonna do? My kids don't want for necessities and get an occasional a few extravagances and I can afford fancy coffee a couple times a week so I'm happy... Time management is key. I expect to spend evenings and weekends with the kids for the most part and pool $ for babysitters when I cannot avoid a weekend or evening study session. Sometimes I work on a couple hours of sleep or less. When all is said and done I'll have two healthy kiddos and a substantially-more-marketable me. You will learn how to make things work and if you have a supportive partner you will be just fine! I agree with XOwlfan, I do not seem to suffer the same degree of stress as the students without kids in my dept. My officemate and his wife have 3 little ones. He does not seem as stressed either. After the insane stress of my BS I am shocked by how different my knee jerk responses feel under pressure now. So bottom line, if you want to do both family and academia, you'll likely make it work. I've known plenty of people who have juggled everything very successfully.