getbacktowork

Thank you guys so much for the replies. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it, so I've just been stuck in my own thoughts...hearing from other people has helped me snap out of it. Definitely what I've needed to hear. I'm encouraged, I switched environments (and I'm using a different computer so I can literally see things differently), I'm going to submit tonight! I've been paralyzed by the fact that the end product won't possibly be as good as it was supposed to be, because I no longer have time to work through multiple drafts or send off to my mentors for revision... I have to squash the pity party about the fact that it won't be perfect, and stop hyper-focusing on each word. I've been so upset with myself about this, that I can imagine how hard on myself I would be if I gave up completely. Thank you all again for telling me what I needed to hear.

I'm not sure where to post this--I suppose under "applications" but I couldn't find a spot where it really fit, so I just came to psych because that's my field. Anyway, I've hit an absolute low. And I've searched as many threads as I could to try and find if anyone else has been in this situation, but it's definitely looking like I'm the only one in history to have screwed up this badly. I want to say I missed my application deadlines, but that's not completely accurate. I was able to submit EVERYTHING, sans personal statement. It's a really long, pathetic, and melo-dramatic story, but I'll spare the details. Bottom line, I am almost 2 weeks out from the deadline of my first application. Last I spoke to the program admin, she told me she leaves the window open for additional materials to be uploaded for atleast a week (which I think is technically for in-transit GRE score reports or transcripts, LOR's) But the more time passed, the more embarrassed I got about submitting it, so now I'm two weeks out and am not even sure that it's even an option...I know that defies logic, but somehow I couldn't get passed it. My second application was due on the 15th. That was before the long weekend, and when I sent in my application through their online portal, I had some computer glitches--Anyway, they reached out to me yesterday and told me to submit it yesterday night (I couldn't because I was still stressed about the first one...which I know is dumb but the first program is my absolute best fit, so I've been having a really tough time just nixing it and moving on...but I realize now that's just ruined my chances all together.) My last app is due Feb 1, but it's my last pick and I'm just applying because there aren't a lot of programs out there specifically fitting what I'm looking to study. I had my heart set on the first two. I won't ask if anyone has ever been in this situation, because I'm pretty positive I'm the only one (unless there were some dire circumstances for which there was probably a good excuse), but does anyone have any insight into the adcom review process...how badly have I sabotaged my application? Should I even bother? What were to happen if I sent in the personal statement now? I'd imagine it might almost be insulting to the program, and it would go in the trash where my application has already had some time to get comfortable. I'm just at a loss, basically staring open mouthed at the calendar because I can't believe it. I've been working my ass off for these applications...sacrificed time...wasted application fee money..and LOR time...Then I'm starting to spiral and think about how if I even deserve to go to grad school at this point. Does anybody have any thoughts or advice they're willing to share? I'm too embarrassed to really talk about it to anyone in my real life at the moment because it's utterly ridiculous that of all things, it's come down to the personal statement.