SisypheanStones

What an uplifting post thread! I'm not actually in grad school, nor will I be there anytime soon. But I want to be there one day. I actually lived in a very affluent town growing up, and we weren't poor by any means. My parents had a business, a record store, that paid the bills, but didn't bring in a lot of money. We owned our house upfront, so we had that under control. When I was in high school, my parents finally split. My mom took over the business, but my dad refused to sign a lease to keep our store, and things got bad. Meanwhile, our property taxes were so high that they were higher than most mortgages and getting higher. Neither of my parents had a degree. My mother did not take high school seriously, and looked down on 'nerds.' My dad was one, and got into college. His parents sent him elsewhere, and he acted out. He failed out of one school and got kicked out for drugs from another. We alway had more than a lot of kids I knew, but we were never very stable. After the divorce, I was petrified to seem like my dad (growing up my mom and brother teased me for being like him). I wanted to go to state school, my mom thought it was too dangerous (......ugh......). I loved school, and emotionally grew into a person, but a lot of the growth came at a heavy price. I lost my scholarship when I got mono. I was afraid of having 'trouble' after my mom sacrificed so much to send me. I was terrified of ringing up hospital fees or spending the money to home for a long weekend. I was terrified if I wasn't working 25 hours or more. I was terrified to take that extra semester that would have made things so much easier. After losing my scholarship, I stopped caring about my grades. I was weak, and let it beat me. Now that I'm done with school, I still live at home. My mom keeps talking about practical strangers kids getting their master's paid for. And marrying rich guys. I think she sent me away so I could meet my husband. I never dated anyone. It's my own fault for effing my up my opportunity, but it's hard to explain to friends that I can't do certain things. Example, I'm trying to get some experience by volunteering at an aquarium, but I have open sores all over my legs. I don't want to get sick or get any animals/kids sick, but I can't go to the doctor. I was always afraid to admit I had a problem with something. I would hide hospital bills, not tell my mom about illnesses or anything else, because I didn't want her to worry. Worry is killing her as it is. I have terrible anxiety, but have never had it looked into, but my dad had it. She always worries that i'm going to be just like him, but I like people. He is a depressive person. I'm happy when I'm depressed. He is emotionally abusive, and I am not. He spends money he doesnt have an heroin, I spend money I don't have on dinner out with friends. Ugh. It's hard to explain that I can't get this treated, or this treated, or this treated. And it would be smart to, but I dont have the cash for it. I can't keep numbers straight when I do math, but I never had to cash to get tested for anything. I mean, I could have, but i'd have to give up the things that get me through life happy. sorry for this. i've never felt like i could say these things before, and they are spilling out

Many people seem to be really frustrated that they did not get to take the new test, as they might have done better. If in fact more people do well on the new test, would that matter? In other words....wouldn't the percentile scores matter more than the score? So in this case, who thinks that those who take the test in the inaugural years with a higher score compared to the percentiles of immediately preceding years are the luckiest?