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About southie123

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    2016 Fall

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  1. 26, similar situation...been together a bit longer, and currently living together. He is doing what he can to be supportive, but for a long time I told him I wouldn't go anywhere if I didn't get into Harvard and I was applying to other schools as practice interviews, essentially. I didn't realize how arrogant this was, solely because my boss told me applicants "like me" could usually bank on getting into Harvard. I think he's trying to be neutral, but he also feels like me potentially leaving is coming out of left field - which it is, for both of us. It's just that I never really realized that I could be looking at my career not moving forward if I didn't get in.
  2. Yeah, there are a lot of factors. He has also said that when he finishes med school, he would do everything in his power to stay in Boston (that's his preference to begin with, as he's from here and has connections at HMS hospitals here). No idea what to do.
  3. Thanks a lot again, I appreciate it. I don't think the programs would allow a deferral, but does anyone know if I turn down the offer now, can I apply again next year? I'm sure that looks bad, but is it even allowed? The problem with the relationship, as you pointed out, is that it's potentially a very long time with no definitive end in sight. My program would be about 5 years, and he is currently a 1st year student (will be 2nd when I start my PhD) at Harvard Med. We definitely care enough about each other to try long distance, but the potential for five years apart is a little long for even the best relationships, I'd imagine...and particularly when we'd be going into that degree of separation from our current situation, which is living together, having two cats, etc. We've essentially built a life together, and I don't want to lose that...but I also don't want to destroy my future career for it. I'm very torn right now, and unfortunately I don't think there is any option that is free of risk.
  4. Thanks Heather! I'm less concerned about a program less than Harvard, and more concerned about reapplying, being unsuccessful, and then going to a much less highly regarded program overall (BU). I know that going to BU would not make me as happy as going to my other option (Hopkins) career-wise. That said, my personal life would remain drastically more stable, and I would be able to continue to live with my partner and not uproot my life, which is something I really don't want to do. He and I would be willing to do long-distance (or at least try it), but we've never been long-distance, and this would be four years minimum long-distance.
  5. Hi everyone, So to keep this brief, I applied to PhD programs in health policy this year and was fortunate enough to be accepted to multiple great programs. That said, I am based in Boston - where I live with my partner - and was hoping to get admitted to my top choice program in Boston (Harvard). I was, however, waitlisted, and while they have assured me I am at the top of the wait list, they were not particularly optimistic about any movement happening this year. I am planning to revisit the programs I was admitted to to be sure they would even fit well with me, but if they do I am really caught between a rock and a hard place here. My partner is a medical student in Boston, and has no flexibility to move any time soon. Going to this program would mean moving out of our apartment, splitting up our pets from their owners, etc. I have spoken to Harvard and they said a reapplication would never be guaranteed admission, but reapplicants have been successful in the past (no idea on the frequency). In addition, there is another program in Boston that I could go to and would have a strong chance of admission based on my results this year (I did not apply there this year), but it would definitely be a drop in program quality. I guess these are my questions: (1) If I turned down the programs I was admitted to this year, would there be any chance I could apply again in the future, possibly when my partner has more flexibility? I know that this should have been taken into account this year, I was just told that advisors that I would most likely get into my top choice so it didn't seem like a huge potential problem. (2) What is the general consensus on reapplying? Assuming I don't get in off of the wait list, the program director said I was a great applicant who very well could have gotten in this year, the cards just didn't fall in my favor...so I know I am competitive, but I'm afraid I'd wait a year and then end up in the same position. (3) Would going to a lesser program really hurt my career overall? Thanks everyone!
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