Opticflash

Hey advertentlyJoin I'm going to give my opinion on presumably your first attempt at the Issue topic. It's a decent start, but it can be much better refined so I am going to give a few suggestions for the essay. Paragraph 1 - Introduction: This introduction is fine. One thing I suggest would be to have 1 sentence explaining why you support your position, or what your main arguments are. Paragraph 2 - Body 1: The first statement "Opponents might argue that the most important force to determine our own behavior is their own free will which is from our inside" is a good start for the topic of a paragraph (although the phrase at the end "from our inside" seems a bit cliche). However, you should elaborate on the opposition's viewpoint, to give a more insightful response. I believe after your first sentence, you should have another sentence to further elaborate on the first. Then after that, give an example of a situation (could be a made up scenario) that supports the viewpoint that our behavior is shaped by our own free will and desires. Then finally 1-2 sentences that explain how that example supports the opposing viewpoint. This should be the main focus of Body 1. Paragraph 3 - Body 2: The statement "People generally develop their behaviors how they have been raised by the external forces" is a good start for the topic of the paragraph, however it needs to be rephrased because the "how..." part doesn't make sense structurally. If you really want to flesh out your first statement to impress the examiners, you can also use the first sentence to "link" in with your first body paragraph (the opposing viewpoint), to create a nice flow to the essay, e.g. something like "Those who insist that human behavior is a product of free will, however, disregard the fact that many people act in response to external factors surrounding them". The second sentence should elaborate further on what these "external factors" are. Since you mentioned culture and custom in your introduction, you should also mention them alongside legal affairs. Then 1-2 examples where these factors come into play should be provided, e.g. "many teenagers today take up smoking due to pressure from their peers" or something like that. Then finally 1-2 sentences explaining how these examples support your argument and/or its significance. Paragraph 4 - Conclusion: This conclusion is fine if you are short on time. To improve it I recommend 1-2 sentences to briefly summarize your main arguments and then have that sentence at the end. Note: If you have time to think of many points, I recommend going for an essay with 3 body paragraphs, 1 for the opposing viewpoint and 2 for your viewpoints - which means 1 more main point that differs from external factors. Otherwise divide external factors into two main body paragraphs each explaining one major factor in depth (e.g. Body 2 could be focused on culture and upbringing, and Body 3 could be focused on legal concerns). What I believe you need more of in that essay in order for it to be top notch A bit more elaboration on your viewpoint and the opposing one 1-2 examples (hypothetical scenarios) supporting your viewpoint, as well as the opposing viewpoint (with an end sentence detailing how this relates back to your argument, or its significance) Having 3 body paragraphs, with 1 opposing viewpoint and 2 distinct viewpoints you are arguing for, or 1 opposing viewpoint and 1 major viewpoint divided into 2 categories A brief 1-2 sentence summary of your main points in the conclusion - with a final statement like the one you have written, at the end

Since you're trying for a Mathematics PhD at several highly competitive/top schools, you'll probably want to bump your Quant score to at least 90th percentile. I would resit in about a month to try to get 166+ in Quant if I were you (which is what I am doing actually since I'm in a similar predicament for my Quant score).

Yesterday I took a Manhattan MST as prep. I got 9 out of 40 questions wrong in total for the Quant sections. At least 5-6 can be attributed to silly mistakes. Here are some examples: 1. Did the following calculation (even whilst writing it down): 87 - 70 = 13 ... oops 2. In the graph question, I read the legends the wrong way so I got a question wrong. 3. One question could be simplified to 3 variables, N, H, and M. The question asked for N / M, found H / N .. oops. The phrasing of the question I believe caught me off guard. 4. One question asked for the equation of a perpendicular line. I accidentally read as parallel, so I chose the parallel one. Other mistakes include reading "total white marbles in bags A and B" as "total marbles in bags A and B", "(Person) walks 5 miles from A to B in one hour" as "(Person) walked 5 miles per hour from A to B", etc. and sometimes realising that I had made calculation or reading comprehension errors eats up my time significantly. I can't have this on test day as my Quant score will suffer tremendously if I continue to make such egregious mistakes during the test. The thing is I don't know how to overcome this. Has anyone faced the same issue? If so how did you improve? Are there any tips on how to prevent calculation or reading comprehension errors? How exactly should I lay out my working on the scratch paper? On the practise tests I write things down but if I write too much I become short on time, but if I write too little it leaves me susceptible to making careless errors. Any help is appreciated.