Thanks @CavityQED. You're right I have no bad options, I just feel like I'm making a decision for the wrong reasons. If I made it about the work and nothing else, I would go to Berkeley. They are the best at this stuff. MIT still has people doing it, just fewer (and literally all of them did their PhD or Post doc at Berkeley). Of course I have never done DFT so it feels silly to make the call just based on that, but Berkeley is so strong in everything so it wouldn't matter.
Basically Berkeley seems so much more prudent, but MIT is where I want to go. It would probably behoove me to remember that A) I can transfer if I need. B ) there is not a huge difference!!!!!!!!!!!
jesus I need a drink. Feel like such an asshole for being so unhappy with these amazing options.