FoodDoc

I've been digging this isolation hole for years now, and that has resulted in me taking up hobbies that are also pretty solitary - mostly working out. You're right, though - I have zero support network here, which is why it feels like the bottom is falling out. As much as my family and friends support me they are all thousands of miles away. The first step is reaching out, but that's a big one (for me) to take, and it is particularly difficult for me particularly when I'm feeling extremely insecure. It will get better with time, but unfortunately, time is not a luxury I have. If bombing that last exam doesn't do it, maybe the threat of getting kicked out of the program will motivate me enough to open that shell just a bit.

I am scheduled to see counseling but not for another 3+ weeks, unfortunately. I'm not in a "crisis," they are overwhelmed with demand so I won't be going to their drop-in clinics. Regretfully I haven't the ability to reach out to anybody else - I am very guarded by default (long story), and so it's doubly hard to make friends or rely on others for help, all of which involve disclosure of vulnerability. So I've been melting down to my mother over the phone, who is really the only one I can do this to repeatedly.

I posted here a couple of months ago about the social aspects of pursuing a terminal degree in my 30s. Well, ~2 months into the semester, things are not going very well. I'm only taking three classes but just came out of an exam which absolutely destroyed me (most likely <C). I am struggling to understand the concepts in this class (it's math), always seem to be a week or two behind and the poor course organization is not helping, although that is not an excuse. It is bleeding over into my other classes, and I overall very little motivation to do any of the work for my classes - just spending a lot of time procrastinating. For example, in the past 72 hours I have done about 60 pages of reading (out of probably ~200 pages). That's it. I've no doubt I am suffering from a mild depression, exacerbated by social difficulties (have trouble meeting people) and the bad weather in this rural part of the country. This is an experience completely unlike my MS where I came out with a 3.9+ and was strongly motivated in nearly all of my classes. I have some meetings set up with the counseling center but their first openings are not for ~3 weeks from today. There is a huge psychological barrier which stops me from asking for help, despite me knowing logically that I'll probably need some kind of tutoring for this math class. I've had a few meltdowns already (usually about once a week on average) and don't see how this is going to get better in the years ahead with the stress piling on. Fortunately if things don't work out I can just flip back to my old career and find a new job, but I have a huge emotional investment in this endeavor and so I don't want to just throw in the towel despite it feeling like this is an insurmountable task.

With this level of loan debt the "snowball" method will end up costing you more in the long run. AND it assumes that all of those interest rates are fixed - which if you took out private loans, they may not be. The snowball method is a stupid one overall, it just makes you feel good that you are closing out accounts when all it does is increase the amount of interest you pay over time. One of the (many) reasons I cannot stand Dave Ramsey. First thing to do is take an inventory of the loans that you have, figure out what your monthly payments will be, and match that to your take home pay and budget. If there's a way to increase this (like through additional clinical certifications, PRN work or a second job/hustle, do it). I paid off a similar loan burden with a second job and a side business. When it comes to loans, consider the following: 1) If your employer offers a match for IRA/retirement funds, contribute only the amount necessary to receive the match. Otherwise you are leaving free money on the table. 2) Build up an emergency fund of 3-6 months' worth of expenses. 3) Make the minimum monthly payments on all loans. If you have "extra" money to spare, for example, if your emergency fund is large enough and you're considering upping your 401(k) contribution, don't. Every dollar you pay down debt is a guaranteed return on your money. Pay down the loan with the highest interest rate FIRST. 3a) #3 has a wrinkle in that if you have a mixture of private and Federal loans, the Federal loans have protections like deferment if you're laid off, Federal loan forgiveness, discharge on death, whereas the private loans generally do not have similar protections and you owe money regardless of your job situation. The Federal loans are also fixed interest, whereas the private are usually variable. You'll have to weigh the pros/cons of this if you have a mixture of loans. For example, the private loans might be lower interest than the Federal, but since they have fewer consumer protections, if might be in your interest to pay those off first even if they are lower interest. If you can, consider relocating to an area with a lower cost of living. I moved from the NE out west to a more rural state and was able to slice my rent payment by 50% and expenses by a significant percentage. Some agencies like Indian Health Service and the VA offer tuition reimbursement in exchange for several years of promised service, and you find similar deals with rural non-profit hospital systems as well. Not sure what the market is like for SLPs in this regard, though, and that assumes you are a clinical SLP.

Hi, been lurking in this forum for a few months now and am wondering if anybody can share their experiences starting a PhD in their mid-30s, specifically the social aspects, dating? I am unattached without kids, which is really the only reason I can embark on this four-year academic journey and switch careers. I'm aware that my age is not a unique case although I am likely the oldest in my cohort. On recruitment weekend I noted that I had at least a decade-plus on most of the people. Since I will be moving to a college town, my social options will be pretty much restricted to the school. When I got my Master's from a university in a large city, I obviously had more social options. But I was 25 at the time, so not too far in age from people who went into the program straight out of undergrad. I still drank. So it wasn't as much of an issue. Thoughts? Thanks.