ELpaso

I'm wondering the same. I've never lived in a big city before. From my own experience, it is true that you can run out of options pretty quickly if the city is small. But then again, I'm an international student and I've probably had a different experience in my mildly conservative country. One thing I personally dislike, which might be true wherever you are if the LGBT spaces are limited in number, is the fact that you're doomed to always run into your exes.

Hi everyone, I have a really hard question here: I've been on a research visit at school A that turned out to be an amazing experience professionally, but a terrible one personally. Now I received an offer from that school and I'm not sure whether to accept it. School A offers a great program, good funding, and I had a very pleasant collaboration with the professor I worked with: I am interested in their research and I believe accepting the offer would be a good move for my career. The school is located in a fairly populated and lively city that I was really excited about. However, I had pretty bad experiences during the time I was there: namely, lots of health-related issues and a painful breakup that I had to go through with no support, due to all my friends and family being far away (I had had no time to make significant connections during my short stay). Now that I am back to my home country, I thought I'd be okay with the idea of just going back to school A in Fall. But the thought of being in that city again almost makes me sick. I'm sure I'll get over it eventually but I don't know how long it will take - probably longer than the time I have left to accept or decline the offer (April 15). I received other offers that I'm very excited about. What's holding me back is that I really enjoyed my collaboration with the professor from school A and I know I'd be a great fit in their group. The other programs look like very strong and prestigious alternatives, but I just don't want to end up stuck in a bad environment or with a bad advisor. It surely helps to talk to other students and potential advisors, but there's only so much I can learn without actually working with someone. Any advice on my situation would be greatly appreciated!